I wish I was a drag queen, because I would still be fucking sexy and not have a uterus.

[queenklu]

You know what's great about being a woman? ...Nothing I can think of at this moment. BOOBS. I guess the boobs can stay. But the rest of the feminine bits can fuck off and die, kthnx. Blargh.

At some point today the BFF is coming over to talk about what day I can host a Mary Kaye party, which is...fucking great. /sarcasm. We have a mutual high

Comments

[sangre_fria]

This "friend" is one of Those Christians, who doesn't believe in dinosaurs and once told me masturbating made you pregnant.

[queenklu]

I know, bb. Luckily by that time I knew for a fact that it totally didn't. I was once at a college sex-ed thing and the people were asking about Weird Things You've Heard About Masturbation and my story got the loudest laugh. And then the woman running the thing said, "Well, maybe if you dipped your hand in a bucket of semen first?" which is not a visual I ever needed, but there you go.

SHARING IS CARING.

[sangre_fria]

If I were in your position, I would be so evil.

I would say to my BFF, "Hey, before I host this thing, you should warn Mary Kay girl. Tell her that I'm a liberal, Darwinist, gay-marriage-advocating bisexual. And if she still wants to come into my house and try to sell me some make-up, that's cool with me."

And then I could start planning to have a tea and cake party on that day instead. XD

[queenklu]

You know, except for the bisexual thing, that's fairly accurate--the thing is, the "friend" KNOWS. She knows all this, and I have yet to have a conversation with her where she didn't try to convert me. SHE BOUGHT ME SECRETLY CHRISTIAN BOOKS FOR MY BIRTHDAY, which I didn't realize until I said I'd liked the first couple books of the series and she said, "Oh yeah, you can get the rest at most Christian book stores! :D"

And I had to run away to hide my D: face. I thought the mysterious shadowy figure who kept saving the hero was MAGIC not JESUS.

[sangre_fria]

I thought the mysterious shadowy figure who kept saving the hero was MAGIC not JESUS.

OMG, BB, I'M DYING RIGHT NOW. DYYYYYING.

I would have made the same assumption, for sure. And I would return the favor by giving her biology text books for her birthdays. And maybe some Richard Dawkins if I'm feeling especially wicked. XD