When the dog barks, when the bee stings...etc.
Alright, I know this is super late in the week for a Favorite Things post, but anyway, here goes. (BY THE WAY, MY 'K' AND 'O' KEYS KEEP STICKING, SO I'M SORRY IF THERE ARE TYPOS.)
Guys, I gotta admit, I was a little on the fence about Dane Cook as Danny's brother. But I came around.
I think it's because I just like watching Scott Caan hug men taller than himself. o___o
ALSO! Direct correlation between one Williams brother wearing a tie and the other one not? I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THIS.
Hiiiii Danny's throat.
TIE. SEE?
Here, here we have a gratuitous shot of Danny stroking his own neck.
And licking his own lips.
HE'S BASICALLY HAVING SEX WITH HIMSELF ON SCREEN. IT'S AMAZING. COME, JOIN ME IN THE POPSICLE STAND OF CRAZY SIGHTS AND SOUNDS.
My mother: *GASP* HE'S FRASER.
Me: Ahaha, lol, no, I think I would have noticed.
Mom: *shrewedly* Would you, though? Would you really?
Me: HE'S NOT WEARING SERGE.
Mom: Fraser licked things out of uniform. LACK OF SERGE WOULD NOT KEEP HIM FROM ADMINISTERING JUSTICE.
(Aaaand that's the fun part of watching Hawaii Five Oh with liquor and your parents.)
Steve: And I wanna meet your brother. *smerk*
Danny: *THAT FACE, OH GOD, WHAT IS THAT FACE. IT'S LIKE, Oh, yes, understandable, of course you do, AND YET STILL SO. FNNNGH HE'S NOT WEARING A TIE. I CAN'T HELP MYSELF*
And then THIS FACE HAPPENS:
The I Could Eat Face, and yes, everyone makes this face but it's STEVE and I LOVE IT.
Alright. I want you to pay close attention to this scene (I know, I know, I'm not telling you to do anything you haven't already done many many times). Follow Danny's hands. See how he touches Rachel's arm first...
...but it's just a gentle little squeeze. And then he GRABS STEVE'S ARM--
And HAULS HIM UP OUT OF THE CHAIR.
JUST. THESE BOYS.
And guys, I didn't pick up on this the first time (WHICH I LOVE) but the parallelism between this:
Matty: Danny would go *shrug* "I guess we lost him."
And the end, when Danny's standing on Rachel's doorstep and he says, "I lost him." JUST. UGH, MY HEART.
(My little brother was one of those kids with negative separation anxiety, so when he'd run off in huge crowds and eventually come back, he'd often snap at my parents "YOU LOST ME." And they'd go, "Yes, you're right, it was totally our fault that you climbed between peple's legs and over a fence and around a barn and WE COULDN'T KEEP UP." /sidenote)
Alright, this moment:
-_- Boys.
You are not fooling anyone.
You are going for sex right now. And NOBODY IS SURPRISED, ARE YOU PICKING UP ON THIS?
It was at this moment (pictured above) that the following occurred:
Mom: Danny always walks like he has a rod up his ass.
Me: SPLORFFLESNERK*UNLADYLIKE PIG NOISES*
Mom: What is so funny? HE DOES.
Me: *dying*
Because I was thinking about Pretty Much The Same Thing, only my connotations were waaaay more upbeat.
Danny, ugh, bb. T___T
Steve, you're picking up Danny's habits. Like lip licking.
And bro-touching.
AND HAND GESTURES, WHAT WERE THOSE EVEN?
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Now this next part was the most unrealistic thing for me, in the entire series so far. So Mr. Chin "HoDamn" Kelly is talking to the local Hawaiian shop girl...
His eyes say Trust Me, his cheekbones say Love Me, his voice says Fuck Me (and Hey Hey I'm Hawaiian). And the girl?
Totally bored. MY SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF, IT HAS DONE BROKE. HOW IS SHE NOT CLIMBING HIM LIKE A TREEEE?
I can't even cap the rest of the episode, bbs, it was just too heartbreaking. But how about this:
IT'S THE FACE OF LOVE. It's the face of Fuck don't leave me for Jersey, but ALSO? IT IS THE FACE OF LOVE.
DDDDD: DANNY.
I can't even get into how much I hate the song they're playing through this part. I CAN'T EVEN. I swear to god, some other show used it for their heartbreaking moment and I hated it then, too. I hate the man's emo warble, I hate how both shows lingered over the line "I'm just a human being," I hate it I hate it I hate it. And in conclusion: for fuck's sake, it's not like iTunes is broken.
And one last one, because this shot needs a hell yeah:
P.S. I had to pause this post in the middle in order to catch a ride home, and ON THE WAY, I KID YOU NOT, we drove past a car being towed that had the licence plate "SXYEYZ." I laughed so hard and so suddenly my mom slammed on the breaks and almost got us rear-ended. Ah. Good times.
(And then I had to explain why Sexy Eyes was funny, because she hasn't seen that episode. She was not amused.)