i once wrote a letter to Orlando Bloom. It began with, "We are not like other fangirls."
The dogs have finally stopped growling at my every move, which is awesome, and it keeps hitting me like a punch to the solar plexus that the people i'm house sitting for HAVE NO MICROWAVE. This is just. Such a crucial instrument to survival. They have a hot tub and a flat screen TV and a view of the Actual Ocean, and yet.
Am currently survivng on wheat thins and dark chocolate M&Ms. Might eventually go spend half an hour reheating canned soup.
AAAAAAAAAUGH BORED. Not even Quite Interesting is enough to keep me entertained--though it's somewhat amusing composing the letter I want to write to Mr. Fry in my head, goes something like this:
DEAREST STEPHEN "WORDMEISTER" "LADY LUMPS" FRY,
I would dearly love to be on your show. Having spent a year abroad in Scotland, i know more about Great Britain than most Americans, and a great deal more about Alaska than you probably do. I'm cheeky, and a ginger, and i want to pet Alan's hair. I also know British slang words like "ginger"--also, "bollocks," "whinging," "tart," "bloke," and "pasty Irish," none of which i've learned from Merlin RPS fanfiction, all of which i'm sure would lend me an edge on your show.
Please send airline tickets post haste to my door, as college has drained all of my funds (yes, it's still more expensive over here, please tell people to stop whinging about it).
P.S. Don't believe a word of what i've written about you on the internet, it's only 3/4ths of the way true.
P.P.S. I can also get rid of your "dratted" "Snowpocalypse," as all Alaskans are born with rudimentary power over weather. Think about it.
With all my tarty heart,
Klu
IS THERE NOTHING TO READ ON THE INTERNET? IS THERE NO PORN, NO SLASH, NO PICTURES TO OGGLE?
*drapes self over fainting couch*