last five celebratory drabbles!
taken outside a church near Penrith in Northern England!
P.S. It makes me feel a little better than y'all freaked out about there not being a new Spn before i did, so i didn't have to work up the energy. ;P
For dmlpacker: Hardison/Eliot, 5 times they tried to confess their totally requited love for each other (wow what a mouthful) and 1 time it ACTUALLY HAPPENED.
1) When a strong, ruggedly handsome guy beats up an entire building full of trained killers to save your geeky lanky ass from the Russian Mafia because you illegally downloaded their bank accounts disguised in an episode of Torchwood, that should tell you something.
It should not tell you to leave it at, “Thanks, man,” with a slap on the back. It should involve fucking, preferably against the wall and possibly while still killing people.
“Thanks, man,” Hardison says and reaches for him.
Eliot snarls, “If you pat me on the back I will break all of your fingers.”
2) If you’re a four foot NOTHING white guy with girly-ass hair and no skills besides breaking other people’s heads with your face, you should get down on your knees and grovel at the feet of the one who finds a back door that involves not damaging distinguishing facial features. Just saying.
“I am not wearing a dress,” Eliot says, like he probably would if Hardison showed him the digital layouts of some of the more adventurous fantasies he has littering the secret secret secret triple quadruple locked thrice removed compartment in his hard drive.
“Suck it up,” Hardison orders. “And let me shave your legs.”
3) Eliot shows up at his apartment the day after Hardison can officially sneeze without fainting from the pain, and for a moment Hardison is dead sure he’s here to break his nose again.
“This showed up in my mailbox,” is what he says instead, shoving the box set of Dr. Who into his hands. “It’s geek stuff, right?” he asks when Hardison doesn’t say anything, and his nose is only wrinkling a little. “’Cause I can give it to Parker-“
“Naw, man,” Hardison says, grin stretching his lips wide and his thumbs tracing over the title. “’S okay. I forgive you.”
Hardison’s never had a door slammed in his face from inside a house before.
4) It’s the oldest trick in the book, Eliot tells himself just as fiercely as the way he’s tongue-fucking Hardison’s mouth. People are coming, you grab the gal nearest you and start macking. Oops, sorry officer, got carried away, you know how it is. Only Hardison’s not a gal, and the hardness Eliot has his thigh pressed against is screaming that quite clearly.
Also, there’s not really a police officer.
“Ungh?” Hardison says when he pulls back.
Eliot swallows nothing and looks elsewhere. “Though I heard something.”
"Yeah, O-kay.”
5) Hardison buys him nunchucks. He wraps them with a bow.
Eliot makes a noise and drags his head up.
Hardison shrugs. “They always sounded vaguely dirty to me.” And grins.
6) “So I maybe kinda have feelings for you. Sort of.” Eliot scowls at him but doesn’t move to disentangle himself. “But not in a pansy ass girly way, okay? Rough, rugged, manly feelings.”
“Of looooooooooooove,” Hardison drawls. Eliot kisses him stupid, obviously, because the next words out of his bruised, grinning mouth is, “Ditto, bro. Ditt-o.”
For
chica_charlie: TFLN “we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.”
“I’m really sorry.” Jared buries his head a little deeper in the pillows and wishes really hard to die. “How pathetic would it be to say this has never happened to me before?”
“Oh, only a lot.” Jensen’s hand comes down on his ass-not quite a smack, just holding it-the same instant he flops next to Jared on the bed. “Hey,” he says when Jared just lets out another mortified whimper, curling himself over Jared’s side, “It’s okay, man. Really. It’s not your fault I’m too damn pretty.”
“Fuckin’ A,” Jared grunts as Jensen’s hand starts rubbing with a purpose, like he’s trying to get inside Jared through his jeans. “Jensen-“
“You got the recovery time of a teenager or just the stamina?”
Jared has Jensen pinned faster than he can smirk, which is pretty damn fast. Jensen just cants his hips up, rubbing the mess in Jared’s jeans all over his recovering dick, and Jared thinks Fuck, yeah, okay, and kisses him again.
For jennybliss: TFLN
“Jensen?” Jared’s voice comes out sounding like a five year old holding a crayon he doesn’t know the color of, which is really inappropriate, considering. “What is this?”
“Ghnuh?” Jensen grunts, still damp from the shower that’s only made him half-presentable. He still looks like death smacked him in the face a couple times with the hangover stick. “Dunno. Napkin.”
“’S got numbers on it,” Jared mentions as casually as he can.
“Score,” Jensen mumbles, zero enthusiasm as he faceplants in his bed. Then he lifts a finger and twirls it in the air, just in cased Jared missed his mood.
“Katie…Ellen…Kylie…And Brandon,” Jared singsongs.
Jensen goes absolutely stiff. “Oh fuck. Oh fuck.”
“Something you want to tell me?”
“Not. Ever,” Jensen bites out.
Jared stares at him for a moment, then digs out a pen. When he’s done, he leaves the napkin on the small of Jensen’s back and retreats before he can flip over and read, “Jared ♥♥♥ Call me! ♥XOX♥” next to his number.
For tanpopo03: 4 times Sammy thought he was the only one crushing on his brother, and one time Dean proved him wrong. (I’m so sorry it’s not teenchesters! But #1 is totally trufax, if that helps.)
1) There was this moment during that ghosts-coming-back-from-the-dead seal where Sam almost grabbed Dean’s thigh. No joke. Dean had just gotten slammed into something, slumped down on the floor of Bobby’s kitchen, and it was nothing new (Dean slamming into things) but Sam felt like he’d been gut-shot anyway.
Dean waved him off before his hand landed, though.
2) Sometimes Sam forgot Dean was back, because he’d spent so much time when he wasn’t telling himself Dean was just out of sight, not gone. He had to do things they never usually did, sometimes, just to shake himself out of it.
“Hey, so there’s this horror flick playing in town,” he offered over dinner once, “It’s not recent, but I hear it’s 3D.”
Dean wiped the ketchup off his own mouth and said, “Yeah, okay,” but that night they got wind of a hunt in Oklahoma. The movie was out of theaters by the time they got there, and Dean never mentioned it again.
3) When Jess courted Sam (and it was definitely Jess doing the courting, at least at first) she made him a mix tape. Well aware that if he ever wanted to make Dean a mix tape it would have to be a literal tape, Sam figured out plan B. The next time Dean let Sam drive Sam took a couple seconds to hook his ipod back up and select the playlist named after his brother.
It took all of half a song for Dean to revoke his "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole,” edict and put on Zeppelin.
4) When some local festival kicked them into higher standards of hotel because the cheap ones were full, Sam “nearly creamed himself” (according to Dean) over their little kitchenette. Sam ignored him, walked right out the door and came back two hours later with every single fucking thing he needed to make them honey glazed ham and potatoes au gratin from scratch, and Dean…
Dean was on the bed with a half-eaten pizza watching Twilight Zone, eyes wide as silver dollars at the bags Sam was carrying and the look on his face. “Ohh…”
Sam made it anyway, stuffed it all in the minifridge, and went to bed without saying a word.
5) Sam had a hard time waking up with Dean’s scent so close, telling the kid part of his brain that everything was a-okay because Dean-o was watching over him, but Dean-o also smelled like cheesy potatoes, so he cracked open an eye.
Dean, sprawled out next to him on top of Sam’s covers, stabbed a couple potato slices and angled the fork towards Sam’s mouth; for the rest of his life Sam swore he opened to talk, not get hand fed like an invalid princess. But then creamy cheesy goodness was melting on his tongue, and sleep hazy logic said that it was melting in Dean’s mouth too.
“You don’t have to woo me, dude,” Dean said, voice husky with more than dairy products, and kissed him.
"Coulda fooled me," Sam growled and kissed him back.
Foramnoturmonkey: Bridget Jones Pic, Jared = Bridget, Meesha = Hugh, Jensen = Darcy
“You are…the worst fighters in the history of the world,” Jared told them, caught somewhere between livid fury and hysterics. “Legless pygmies in Africa are kicking more ass than you!”
“Shut up!” Jensen choked out from under Misha’s armpit at the same time Misha protested, “I’m winning!” from between Jensen’s fingers.
Fury won out and he pushed them in the duck pond.
“Wait!” Misha gurgled out loud enough that Jared had to stop, though he didn’t turn. “Jared. Baby. We’re…We’re meant to be! We deserve each other!”
Jared was stalking back to kill him when Jensen shoved him under again, hauling him upright and sputtering by the scalp. “Jared never deserved someone cheating on him,” Jensen snarled with so much feeling it took them both back a second. Jensen ignored it and shook Misha like a rat. “Jared deserves the best fucking guy on the planet, someone ten times better than you and six times better than me, and-ponies, if he wants them! Two big dogs and a white picket fence and someone he can’t wait to get home to, someone he wants to spend every waking, sleeping moment with. And that might not be me but it sure as fuck isn’t you.
“Now,” he added, dropping Misha who floated dazedly into a school of startled koi fish, “I am going to go home. And change. And-hire myself a legless pygmy to teach me how to beat the shit out of you if I see you within a hundred feet of Jared again.”
He took exactly two squishy steps towards the edge of the pond before Jared grabbed him by his sodden tie and hauled him in for a kiss, tasting the water steadily seeping into his shoes.
And they lived happily ever after.
THE END. Of this drabble meme.