I've come to realize that
*That no matter how much you try to fix things, some things just can't be "fixed"
*That moving on means making a daily choice not to look back.
*That sometimes it's best to let friendships that belonged to yesterday,stay in "yesterday" cause God obviously wanted them to end, no matter how much you try to revive them. Because as one of my pastors once said "Blessed are they who mourn" means Blessed are they who know how to let what belonged to yesterday die
*That once you've apologized, you've done your part and you are free to move on with a clear conscience.
*That people will do whatever they want, whether it hurts you in the least way or not.
*That everyone who already has the things that you so desperately want and what you think you may never have a chance to have can be as sweet and caring as they know how, but they will never unerstand the present reality of what it is that you lack.
*That forgiveness is a process, and you will be able to do it when you are meant to, not when everyone else demands it of you.
*That it's not worth holding onto someone's actions forever, no matter how right you think you may be, or how much you think that they've wronged you. It's about learning to let it go and let God deal with them...and He WILL, that I can promise you.
*That no person, family, friend or otherwise is worth your spiritual freedom and emotional health, and NOBODY has the right to keep you in a pit.
*That just when you think you couldn't take one more thing going wrong, God has a way of sending someone your way to make you realize that He was there all along.
*That you cannot let guilt or shame or past behaviours determine your worth. You are more valuable than you will ever know. Your worth consists in the shed blood of Jesus, the forgiveness of your sins, and the right-standing with the Father that only Jesus can give you.
*That it's not in getting everything on your list of "I've got to have this or I'll never make it" but in knowing that at the end of the day, God still knows the desires of your ♥ and He has not for one second forgetten the things tha are so dear to you. And if He says no, It's because there's a greater yes somewhere down the road....He knows where that is and is working on getting you there. And in the mean time, when you think you can't make it, He will always be there to remind you that you will make it.
*That when it's all said and done, it's not about the amount of "good" or "right" things you've done, but about knowing that at the end of the day, even the days when you think you've blown it, you are absolutely, rooted, established and secured in the un-chainging, un-failing love of a God who is absolutely wild about you, and will do anything to get you into a daily relationship with Himso that you can experience that absolutely amazing, totally un-failing love every single day of your life.
*And that when you have a bad day,or a bad week, or a bad month, you can go cry it out before Him for however long it takes and He won't cast you out of His presence cause your faith isn't strong enough, or because He'll think you're bothering Him. He will dry your tears, heal your broken heart,set you back on your feet and show you the way to go, and you'll have some awesome surprises along the way
This post was not directed to anyone in particular. Especially the friendship sections.They were more like a reminder to myself regarding some friendships that I was trying to revive, that I shoudln't be reviving. This is a summary I just wrote up of things that I've learned along the way during the last year and a half. (I realize it sounds like one of those tacky emails that's always fwded around but it's not) Those of you who know me, know that I've struggled a lot in the last few years. But I am slowly beginning to see some healing take place.
I'm not saying life is going to be easy and no troubles. Life is hard. There are good days, and there are bad days. But when you look back you see that there was a lot of good that happened along the way. New friendships, new levels of faith, a new understanding of what this thing is all about. I belive it all comes down to this:
~"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"~Jermeiah 29:11