unpack the secret weapon
So I don't go on diets, I decide I'm going to 'start eating better'. This tends to last for about a week, and then I go crazy and have Nandos for lunch five times in a row and start cutting chunks of raw cookie dough into my chocolate chip ice-cream. The terminology only works for me in a very limited way, because 'eating better' and 'dieting' both essentially mean 'stop stuffing your face with raw cookie dough and camembert, Beck, Christ'. I find that hard to deal with.
Nevertheless, I am trying my hardest to 'eat better' at the moment because I'm going to the Gold Coast in August with my boyfriend and some of his mates and his mate's fiancees. This is where I get shallow. One of the fiancees in a 'real girl'* who is bigger than me and who I get along with fine. The other fiancees is thin and tan and pretty and makes me self consious about being wobbly and untoned and pasty. She's also a real sweetie, which makes me feel bad about hoping she comes down with a rare disease that makes her look worse in a bikini than I do.
So when I went to lunch today I said 'NO!' to the delicious steak sandwich with bacon and cheese, and 'Alright, sigh, yes' to the tomato soup. SIGH SIGH SIGH. Life isn't fun when it doesn't involve big hunks of meat.
Anyway, happylist '09! I was too lazy to update the last few days, but that means I've got a few happy things to be gross and happy about.
The Castiel rec list I spoke about last time is still going strong. It's been making me happy in all sorts of intriguing ways.
Delicious latte to make up for my tomato soup
The Sims 3. Hours upon hours of my life, guys. Hours. Just gone.
This umbrella
Music!
Ok, the music is really great. I've been listening to a lot of what I call my crazy lady musicians. These include Bat for Lashes, Goldfrapp, Tori Amos and, recently, this awesome British artist who performs under the name Florence and the Machine. I listened to her 'Dog Days' about ten times in a row when I was reading The Stand. I love her a LOT.
What else? Not having to get up and go to work this morning made me pretty damn happy.
Sam Worthington's coat in Terminator is still making me happy, and I saw that ages ago.
My cat's making me happy. I'm trying to suck up and get as many cuddles out of him as I can because tonight is flea bath night and he's going to freakin' hate me and want to kill me in my sleep after it, hahahah.
Megan Fox being sexy is making me happy.
Deciding to stop writing this entry so I can go and play the Sims, look at Megan Fox or read Castiel porn is making me super happy, hazzah!
--Cheers, Beck. Hungry, hungry, unsatisfied by tomato soup Beck.
*Please be aware that I am using the term 'real girl' ironically here, because I freaking HATE that term, as if any girl is somehow not 'real' because of her body shape. Fuller figured women who use it to denigrate skinny girls piss me off, at the same time the dehuminising of fuller figured women also pisses me off, so it turns into this big stupid body image spiral of hell and I just want to scream CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!
*breathe*
Nevertheless, I am trying my hardest to 'eat better' at the moment because I'm going to the Gold Coast in August with my boyfriend and some of his mates and his mate's fiancees. This is where I get shallow. One of the fiancees in a 'real girl'* who is bigger than me and who I get along with fine. The other fiancees is thin and tan and pretty and makes me self consious about being wobbly and untoned and pasty. She's also a real sweetie, which makes me feel bad about hoping she comes down with a rare disease that makes her look worse in a bikini than I do.
So when I went to lunch today I said 'NO!' to the delicious steak sandwich with bacon and cheese, and 'Alright, sigh, yes' to the tomato soup. SIGH SIGH SIGH. Life isn't fun when it doesn't involve big hunks of meat.
Anyway, happylist '09! I was too lazy to update the last few days, but that means I've got a few happy things to be gross and happy about.
The Castiel rec list I spoke about last time is still going strong. It's been making me happy in all sorts of intriguing ways.
Delicious latte to make up for my tomato soup
The Sims 3. Hours upon hours of my life, guys. Hours. Just gone.
This umbrella
Music!
Ok, the music is really great. I've been listening to a lot of what I call my crazy lady musicians. These include Bat for Lashes, Goldfrapp, Tori Amos and, recently, this awesome British artist who performs under the name Florence and the Machine. I listened to her 'Dog Days' about ten times in a row when I was reading The Stand. I love her a LOT.
What else? Not having to get up and go to work this morning made me pretty damn happy.
Sam Worthington's coat in Terminator is still making me happy, and I saw that ages ago.
My cat's making me happy. I'm trying to suck up and get as many cuddles out of him as I can because tonight is flea bath night and he's going to freakin' hate me and want to kill me in my sleep after it, hahahah.
Megan Fox being sexy is making me happy.
Deciding to stop writing this entry so I can go and play the Sims, look at Megan Fox or read Castiel porn is making me super happy, hazzah!
--Cheers, Beck. Hungry, hungry, unsatisfied by tomato soup Beck.
*Please be aware that I am using the term 'real girl' ironically here, because I freaking HATE that term, as if any girl is somehow not 'real' because of her body shape. Fuller figured women who use it to denigrate skinny girls piss me off, at the same time the dehuminising of fuller figured women also pisses me off, so it turns into this big stupid body image spiral of hell and I just want to scream CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG!
*breathe*