Everything that's on my mind - Rant/Update
Forwarning - I ran out of mood stabalizer medication two days ago, so I'm a little unhinged right now.
Okay, so up to this point in the last few months I haven't been posting on here much (I have become enamored of Facebook, which has led to waaaaay too many status updates, and not enough time to think of writing anything that would help me just let. It. Go.), and I've been stressed out by quite a few too many things. So, here's the June-July-August list of things that have managed to mess with me.
The thing that really has been pissing me off the MOST is people asking about my non-existant sex life. Please, if I were and wanted you to know, you would. So STOP ASKING ME. I am, by nature, a fairly prudish person when it comes to talking about ACTUAL sex. I can read about it, I can write some of it, but I DON'T enjoy talking about it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that my MOTHER talks about her sex life incessantly, as do a great deal of my sexually active friends. It is NOT something that I feel is a topic of discussion. Which, ironically, brings me to the second point - people assuming that I'm sexually active. So thank you, sir-father-of-my-boyfriend and sir-step-father, along with many sir/dame-friends, for assuming that I have that kind of standard. Your high opinion of me shocks and amazes me to this day. Not.
My migraines are back, and this means constant pain all over my head, down my neck, and through my arms to my elbows, sometimes down to my fingertips and down my spine, which all ready aches like crazy all of the time. So, when I do things like wear sunglasses inside, refuse to play the (out of tune) piano, ask you to stop singing loudly; or wince when someone opens a door, turns up the TV, or ruffles my hair, it means DON'T BOTHER/ASK QUESTIONS/YELL at me. I mean, seriously, even if you ignored all of the symptoms, couldn't the fact that I've gone through more than half of a Costco-sized bottle of Excedrine in the last couple of weeks (2-3 pills every six to eight hours) tell you that I have a headache? Another thing: for some reason, someone in my house keeps moving my glasses. I KNOW they look just like a pair of Ron's reading glasses, and they're outdated anyway so they don't work very well, but I can't keep my contacts in all night, and I'm currently having trouble seeing anything on the screen that is less than three feet from my face. Hell, I've drawn on them in metallic sharpie so that they look different.
Also, Father still has not paid his share of the medical expenses (for THREE YEARS), or bothered with more than a SIXTH of the child support for the last few months. So thank you very much, I don't have any money for SCHOOL SUPPLIES right now, there is some risk of losing quite a lot of things that are fairly necessary, and you still owe ME, PERSONALLY $40. That's before I told you to GTFO of my life.
And finally, the boy is leaving for Mexico in exactly three weeks. I'm learning to cope with it, because it's not going to change, but I in no way need to like it. He won't have a land line more than seventy five percent of the time, he'll have access to a computer maybe thirty five, and we've both agreed to write letters weekly (which costs nearly a (US) dollar, both ways), but still, as it is, I've only gone maybe two days without talking to him at least once - it was the thing that kept me sane for most of the time that we were dating. What's worse, is that we had a ridiculously bad fight a few weeks ago, and my ring was broken, so now I won't even have THAT reminder. That was back in mid July, but I still feel a little naked without it, I mean, I wore it for nearly four months, and even though it was a pretty cheap piece of jewlery it still had more meaning in it than most of the things that I have. I guess it's a lesson in detachment.
Either way, it feels really good to just write that all down. Once I've calmed down, which may be as late as tomorrow, I'm going to post ten things that have made me happy, or that I'm grateful for.
Okay, so up to this point in the last few months I haven't been posting on here much (I have become enamored of Facebook, which has led to waaaaay too many status updates, and not enough time to think of writing anything that would help me just let. It. Go.), and I've been stressed out by quite a few too many things. So, here's the June-July-August list of things that have managed to mess with me.
The thing that really has been pissing me off the MOST is people asking about my non-existant sex life. Please, if I were and wanted you to know, you would. So STOP ASKING ME. I am, by nature, a fairly prudish person when it comes to talking about ACTUAL sex. I can read about it, I can write some of it, but I DON'T enjoy talking about it. Maybe it has to do with the fact that my MOTHER talks about her sex life incessantly, as do a great deal of my sexually active friends. It is NOT something that I feel is a topic of discussion. Which, ironically, brings me to the second point - people assuming that I'm sexually active. So thank you, sir-father-of-my-boyfriend and sir-step-father, along with many sir/dame-friends, for assuming that I have that kind of standard. Your high opinion of me shocks and amazes me to this day. Not.
My migraines are back, and this means constant pain all over my head, down my neck, and through my arms to my elbows, sometimes down to my fingertips and down my spine, which all ready aches like crazy all of the time. So, when I do things like wear sunglasses inside, refuse to play the (out of tune) piano, ask you to stop singing loudly; or wince when someone opens a door, turns up the TV, or ruffles my hair, it means DON'T BOTHER/ASK QUESTIONS/YELL at me. I mean, seriously, even if you ignored all of the symptoms, couldn't the fact that I've gone through more than half of a Costco-sized bottle of Excedrine in the last couple of weeks (2-3 pills every six to eight hours) tell you that I have a headache? Another thing: for some reason, someone in my house keeps moving my glasses. I KNOW they look just like a pair of Ron's reading glasses, and they're outdated anyway so they don't work very well, but I can't keep my contacts in all night, and I'm currently having trouble seeing anything on the screen that is less than three feet from my face. Hell, I've drawn on them in metallic sharpie so that they look different.
Also, Father still has not paid his share of the medical expenses (for THREE YEARS), or bothered with more than a SIXTH of the child support for the last few months. So thank you very much, I don't have any money for SCHOOL SUPPLIES right now, there is some risk of losing quite a lot of things that are fairly necessary, and you still owe ME, PERSONALLY $40. That's before I told you to GTFO of my life.
And finally, the boy is leaving for Mexico in exactly three weeks. I'm learning to cope with it, because it's not going to change, but I in no way need to like it. He won't have a land line more than seventy five percent of the time, he'll have access to a computer maybe thirty five, and we've both agreed to write letters weekly (which costs nearly a (US) dollar, both ways), but still, as it is, I've only gone maybe two days without talking to him at least once - it was the thing that kept me sane for most of the time that we were dating. What's worse, is that we had a ridiculously bad fight a few weeks ago, and my ring was broken, so now I won't even have THAT reminder. That was back in mid July, but I still feel a little naked without it, I mean, I wore it for nearly four months, and even though it was a pretty cheap piece of jewlery it still had more meaning in it than most of the things that I have. I guess it's a lesson in detachment.
Either way, it feels really good to just write that all down. Once I've calmed down, which may be as late as tomorrow, I'm going to post ten things that have made me happy, or that I'm grateful for.