(no subject)
So I have been in Hawaii now for a little over 5 weeks and everything was going fine for the first few weeks, but the last week or so I have just been...sucking at life. It was weird, 'cause when I got here, I was fully prepared for the usual feelings that I have when I make a big move, you know, being homesick, freaking out about being alone, missing people, etc, etc, but it didn't really happen. I was weirdly okay. I think a lot of it had to do with the fact that I got here the Saturday before classes started, so I just kind of got thrown into everything right away and didn't have time to feel sad and scared and all of that. Part of it was also probably the fact that I've done this whole uprooting myself and starting over thing enough times now that I know what to expect and how to handle it, so consequently my reactions are not quite so violent.
Ever since sometime last week though, the homesickness has been hitting me hard. The whole time I've been here, I'd have moments of missing certain things and people, but nothing major but right now...it's major. I miss the hell out of my friends and my co-workers, and the kids I teach. Our school feis (Irish dance competition for those of you who don't know) is coming up this weekend, and I am so bummed not to be there for it. My group of friends and my dance school in Colorado became like my family, and I hate not having them. I just don't want to be here. And I've been having a really hard time focusing as a result. I spend time when I should be working on schoolwork and choreography, both of which I enjoy doing if I do them, but instead I spend time checking out what people are up to on facebook, or watching shit on Netflix just because I am depressed and don't want to do anything. It's a problem. Not enough of a problem yet that it's really negatively effecting my schoolwork, but I'm procrastinating more than I should and it could be a real problem if I don't get it in check. It's just rough to snap myself out of it.
Fortunately, I sort of preemptively started seeing a counselor a couple of weeks ago 'cause I know that I am crazy and will need it, and I have an appointment tomorrow, so that's good. Hopefully that will help.
I hate that "I wanna go home" feeling, and I know I will get over it and learn to love it here too like I always do, but right now, damn it...I wanna go home.
Ever since sometime last week though, the homesickness has been hitting me hard. The whole time I've been here, I'd have moments of missing certain things and people, but nothing major but right now...it's major. I miss the hell out of my friends and my co-workers, and the kids I teach. Our school feis (Irish dance competition for those of you who don't know) is coming up this weekend, and I am so bummed not to be there for it. My group of friends and my dance school in Colorado became like my family, and I hate not having them. I just don't want to be here. And I've been having a really hard time focusing as a result. I spend time when I should be working on schoolwork and choreography, both of which I enjoy doing if I do them, but instead I spend time checking out what people are up to on facebook, or watching shit on Netflix just because I am depressed and don't want to do anything. It's a problem. Not enough of a problem yet that it's really negatively effecting my schoolwork, but I'm procrastinating more than I should and it could be a real problem if I don't get it in check. It's just rough to snap myself out of it.
Fortunately, I sort of preemptively started seeing a counselor a couple of weeks ago 'cause I know that I am crazy and will need it, and I have an appointment tomorrow, so that's good. Hopefully that will help.
I hate that "I wanna go home" feeling, and I know I will get over it and learn to love it here too like I always do, but right now, damn it...I wanna go home.