Well
I haven't used this thing in a while. I know probably everyone says that. I have checked my friends page, I just haven't written, mostly because I haven't really had anything to write, mostly because it was all depressing junk that I'm sure I don't need to share with everyone a million times. Because we have all heard it before.
I was asking God today why all this crap is happening, and He just answered it like this: "Because I need you to trust Me with your whole life."
That's come up a lot lately. The whole trust thing.
There's a whole lot I'd like to talk about, and vent about, and discuss with myself (and God) over livejournal but it's just not worth it. Because people read it. And it involves people. People that might get offended if I said something.
I know this all sounds very cryptic. It is. It is supposed to sound that way.
Anyway,
Theresa is going to Russia on the 9th and I am moving after that.
I'm working 4 jobs currently. It's enough to drive a person mad. Today I tried to cash a paycheck and put some in my bank account. I have been writing deposit slips since I was 16. Apparently today my brain totally forgot not only how to fill out a deposit slip, but also how to write neatly. The scrawl that covered the bank deposit slip was not my normal handwriting, but some sluggish calligraphy that was unfamiliar to me. And I totally filled it out wrong. The teller had to tell me what to do. And I felt utterly stupid.
Yet on another note...
I've been struggling with something that I can't seem to shake. Something that's been bothering me for a while (try years). I keep asking God about it, and He keeps giving me an answer, and yet I still can't seem to believe Him when it comes to this particular thing. Mostly because what I see carnally, right here, right now, doesn't seem to be working the way God says it should. And I can't really do anything about it but pray. And believe me, I have.
It's so hard to believe it when what you're seeing is so much different. Or it's a "too good to be true" kind of mindset.
I guess that's where faith comes in.
Alright. Enough of my mindless rambling.
I was asking God today why all this crap is happening, and He just answered it like this: "Because I need you to trust Me with your whole life."
That's come up a lot lately. The whole trust thing.
There's a whole lot I'd like to talk about, and vent about, and discuss with myself (and God) over livejournal but it's just not worth it. Because people read it. And it involves people. People that might get offended if I said something.
I know this all sounds very cryptic. It is. It is supposed to sound that way.
Anyway,
Theresa is going to Russia on the 9th and I am moving after that.
I'm working 4 jobs currently. It's enough to drive a person mad. Today I tried to cash a paycheck and put some in my bank account. I have been writing deposit slips since I was 16. Apparently today my brain totally forgot not only how to fill out a deposit slip, but also how to write neatly. The scrawl that covered the bank deposit slip was not my normal handwriting, but some sluggish calligraphy that was unfamiliar to me. And I totally filled it out wrong. The teller had to tell me what to do. And I felt utterly stupid.
Yet on another note...
I've been struggling with something that I can't seem to shake. Something that's been bothering me for a while (try years). I keep asking God about it, and He keeps giving me an answer, and yet I still can't seem to believe Him when it comes to this particular thing. Mostly because what I see carnally, right here, right now, doesn't seem to be working the way God says it should. And I can't really do anything about it but pray. And believe me, I have.
It's so hard to believe it when what you're seeing is so much different. Or it's a "too good to be true" kind of mindset.
I guess that's where faith comes in.
Alright. Enough of my mindless rambling.