Until death do us part...
I think I'm going to re-open my anonymous comment feature, because I know a lot of people read my journal but do not have an account. I'll try this and see how it goes.
All my thoughts about death have spawned another entry. Even before these incidents, such thoughts were on my mind.
I'm having a really difficult time wrestling with my thoughts. I'm not afraid to die. I mean, I hope someday I'm able to complete everything I want to write, do everything I really want to do, but I've accepted that whatever happens is ultimately inescapable. Even though I'd like to think I'm open-minded, there is an irrational fear floating in the back of my mind that is selfish. I'll say it anyway. I still feel uneasy to think that if I were to die first, my husband could and probably would remarry. I mean, remarriages happens all the time in our culture and I don't believe even that it is wrong.
Why do I feel this way? As I analyze myself, I think I have been influenced by societal idealism. I've been fed these romantic ideas. Often when we watch movies, people either die together or one person may die as the other lives life alone. The movies that come to my mind are The Notebook, 5 People You Meet In Heaven, What Dreams May Come, The Fountain, but I'm sure if I wanted to, I could come up with so many more. It is idealized as a romantic notion that somehow through life, if it is a desire a person finds their soul mate, that is the only soul they build a connection with until the end of their days.
What if this is not truly the case though? Could we have more than one soul mate, more than one person we are meant to be with? So many people ultimately remarry and are happy. Is this a time to build another connection, or somehow learn about what you've missed out on all those years you were married to someone else? I mean, don't get me wrong. I just want people to be happy. I would never want someone to be miserable the rest of their days. However, I can't help seeing remarriage after death as "replacement." You know, like when a puppy dies and parents just tell their daughter she can have another one. I've seen people get remarried, and they forget about their former spouse completely. If you be remembered in your spouse's memories, was life worth living?
I have no apprehensions if people choose to remarry after divorce. Even though some people would argue that divorce is akin to death, I do not agree.
The conflicting nature inside of me, references a line I've used before, "You build different connections with different people." Maybe it's not replacement, it's a coping mechanism to get through life's difficulties. However, if I were to extend the afore mentioned mindset, why would promiscuity be wrong while two people are married? It's just about building different connections with different people? Maybe sometimes times are difficult in marriage, so people should just go out and find other relationships to help them cope? I'm all for polyamory, but I've passed that stage in my life, and so many other people do not practice it once they are married. It's just so confusing.
We may have personal beliefs of faith, but ultimately we don't know the ultimate plan of an existence beyond this world. So even the traditional marriage vows state,"Until death do us part..." which is the line that absolves a spouse from a marriage bond once their spouse is deceased. So it really is ultimately dependent to each person's individual discretion and personal choice. I'm sorry for my crazy rambling, Livejournal readers, has anyone else ever thought about this?
All my thoughts about death have spawned another entry. Even before these incidents, such thoughts were on my mind.
I'm having a really difficult time wrestling with my thoughts. I'm not afraid to die. I mean, I hope someday I'm able to complete everything I want to write, do everything I really want to do, but I've accepted that whatever happens is ultimately inescapable. Even though I'd like to think I'm open-minded, there is an irrational fear floating in the back of my mind that is selfish. I'll say it anyway. I still feel uneasy to think that if I were to die first, my husband could and probably would remarry. I mean, remarriages happens all the time in our culture and I don't believe even that it is wrong.
Why do I feel this way? As I analyze myself, I think I have been influenced by societal idealism. I've been fed these romantic ideas. Often when we watch movies, people either die together or one person may die as the other lives life alone. The movies that come to my mind are The Notebook, 5 People You Meet In Heaven, What Dreams May Come, The Fountain, but I'm sure if I wanted to, I could come up with so many more. It is idealized as a romantic notion that somehow through life, if it is a desire a person finds their soul mate, that is the only soul they build a connection with until the end of their days.
What if this is not truly the case though? Could we have more than one soul mate, more than one person we are meant to be with? So many people ultimately remarry and are happy. Is this a time to build another connection, or somehow learn about what you've missed out on all those years you were married to someone else? I mean, don't get me wrong. I just want people to be happy. I would never want someone to be miserable the rest of their days. However, I can't help seeing remarriage after death as "replacement." You know, like when a puppy dies and parents just tell their daughter she can have another one. I've seen people get remarried, and they forget about their former spouse completely. If you be remembered in your spouse's memories, was life worth living?
I have no apprehensions if people choose to remarry after divorce. Even though some people would argue that divorce is akin to death, I do not agree.
The conflicting nature inside of me, references a line I've used before, "You build different connections with different people." Maybe it's not replacement, it's a coping mechanism to get through life's difficulties. However, if I were to extend the afore mentioned mindset, why would promiscuity be wrong while two people are married? It's just about building different connections with different people? Maybe sometimes times are difficult in marriage, so people should just go out and find other relationships to help them cope? I'm all for polyamory, but I've passed that stage in my life, and so many other people do not practice it once they are married. It's just so confusing.
We may have personal beliefs of faith, but ultimately we don't know the ultimate plan of an existence beyond this world. So even the traditional marriage vows state,"Until death do us part..." which is the line that absolves a spouse from a marriage bond once their spouse is deceased. So it really is ultimately dependent to each person's individual discretion and personal choice. I'm sorry for my crazy rambling, Livejournal readers, has anyone else ever thought about this?