nachamu, my ass
so i had intended
to post about how
for the 9th of av
i went to rabin's grave at har hertzel
to read eicha
with what i thought was going to be a few families
trying to remember
love and peace
and the very real toll of brother killing brother
and which turned out to be
pretty much an entire congregation's worth of people
who have been doing this for 12 years.
i was going to be funny
and talk abut whether or not
one ought to wash one's hands
upon exiting the cemetery
in this situation
i thought i'd ponder how
while awesome
it's not too cohen-friendly a venture
and i wanted to say
how it made me feel
to visit my hero
golda meir
for the first time since 1995.
but really
all of that seems meaningless
empty
vain
havel havalim
when at the end of shabbat nachamu
a bunch of queer kids
get mowed down in a freaking basement-event in tel aviv.
why did it never occur to me
that this could happen?
why does (extreme) religion
while publicly condemning murder
foster the hate to cause this repeated transgression?
and do not talk to me
about zeal in the name of god.
do not tell me
this is like
celebrated pinchas of the tribe of levi
spearing fornicating kozbi of the tribe of simon.
perhaps
this is like those jews
who burned the food stores in jerusalem
to force a war
and ultimately
the temple was destroyed
causing national mourning every year
or perhaps
this is like those jews
who assassinated gedalia
or perhaps
after all
it is like the death of rabin.
mostly
i think it is similar
to last year's shooting at merkaz harav.
though that was not a jew mowing down other jews
it was death due to deep hatred--
at once terrorism and a hate crime--
just like today.
(as far as i know, the shooter is still at large
and i have to assume
it was a jew who perpetrated this heinous crime
since it is the most likely scenario.)
i feel similar shock, sadness, and anger
and similarly violated by hatred.
though these teens
were not (yet) political leaders
their lives had no less worth or significance
than any other souls in the universe.
i see
the same hatred toward brother and sister
that i read about in history books
prayer books
and the books of the prophets of jewish history
in the newspapers of today.
why are we crying
that the temple in jerusalem was destroyed?
why do we even bother to read
about mothers eating their babies?
what, in fact, are we mourning?
it seems to me
it means nothing
in the face of our proving to each other
who is stronger, righteouser, faster, deadlier, or more "in" with god.
mothers
are starving their children to death
and people protest their guilt.
community leaders
encourage hate under the guise of god or zealotry
and seem surprised yet not chagrined to discover
that death has ensued.
i know i am ranting
i know
it doesn't all follow or make sense
but i do not feel properly comforted, today
by isaiah's prophesies of the future
by the idea of future generations
continuing classism, racism, blemishism, ageism, sexism, or any other discrimination-ism
in the name of god.
and when i say
"hadesh yamenu ki-kedem"
i am not imagining, dear readers
the temple of yore being rebuilt
(i am not saying def no temple ever again...just...def not the ones of yore)
for that can only cause
an even deeper descent
into the cycle
that we are still repeating.
i (am trying really hard to) imagine instead
a renewal of spirit
of love
of awe
of excitement for life
or possibly
the excitement of being newly created.
please
please
renew us back to the time before hate.
to post about how
for the 9th of av
i went to rabin's grave at har hertzel
to read eicha
with what i thought was going to be a few families
trying to remember
love and peace
and the very real toll of brother killing brother
and which turned out to be
pretty much an entire congregation's worth of people
who have been doing this for 12 years.
i was going to be funny
and talk abut whether or not
one ought to wash one's hands
upon exiting the cemetery
in this situation
i thought i'd ponder how
while awesome
it's not too cohen-friendly a venture
and i wanted to say
how it made me feel
to visit my hero
golda meir
for the first time since 1995.
but really
all of that seems meaningless
empty
vain
havel havalim
when at the end of shabbat nachamu
a bunch of queer kids
get mowed down in a freaking basement-event in tel aviv.
why did it never occur to me
that this could happen?
why does (extreme) religion
while publicly condemning murder
foster the hate to cause this repeated transgression?
and do not talk to me
about zeal in the name of god.
do not tell me
this is like
celebrated pinchas of the tribe of levi
spearing fornicating kozbi of the tribe of simon.
perhaps
this is like those jews
who burned the food stores in jerusalem
to force a war
and ultimately
the temple was destroyed
causing national mourning every year
or perhaps
this is like those jews
who assassinated gedalia
or perhaps
after all
it is like the death of rabin.
mostly
i think it is similar
to last year's shooting at merkaz harav.
though that was not a jew mowing down other jews
it was death due to deep hatred--
at once terrorism and a hate crime--
just like today.
(as far as i know, the shooter is still at large
and i have to assume
it was a jew who perpetrated this heinous crime
since it is the most likely scenario.)
i feel similar shock, sadness, and anger
and similarly violated by hatred.
though these teens
were not (yet) political leaders
their lives had no less worth or significance
than any other souls in the universe.
i see
the same hatred toward brother and sister
that i read about in history books
prayer books
and the books of the prophets of jewish history
in the newspapers of today.
why are we crying
that the temple in jerusalem was destroyed?
why do we even bother to read
about mothers eating their babies?
what, in fact, are we mourning?
it seems to me
it means nothing
in the face of our proving to each other
who is stronger, righteouser, faster, deadlier, or more "in" with god.
mothers
are starving their children to death
and people protest their guilt.
community leaders
encourage hate under the guise of god or zealotry
and seem surprised yet not chagrined to discover
that death has ensued.
i know i am ranting
i know
it doesn't all follow or make sense
but i do not feel properly comforted, today
by isaiah's prophesies of the future
by the idea of future generations
continuing classism, racism, blemishism, ageism, sexism, or any other discrimination-ism
in the name of god.
and when i say
"hadesh yamenu ki-kedem"
i am not imagining, dear readers
the temple of yore being rebuilt
(i am not saying def no temple ever again...just...def not the ones of yore)
for that can only cause
an even deeper descent
into the cycle
that we are still repeating.
i (am trying really hard to) imagine instead
a renewal of spirit
of love
of awe
of excitement for life
or possibly
the excitement of being newly created.
please
please
renew us back to the time before hate.