Deep thoughts...
Perhaps it's the impending New Year, or maybe I'm premenstrual, but I've been thinking about a lot of different things lately. In particular, I've been thinking about friendships and how life ebbs and flows. Some of you may know the recent drama that I've had with a friend of mine, Lydia. But for those of you who don't, here's a quick run-down. Lydia and I have been friends since freshman year of college--roughly 7 now. After college she stayed here in Roanoke and babysat and has had 2 children with her boyfriend. She has been living with him since she got pregnant with her first child and they finally decided to get married. I thought that we were good friends--I actually considered her to be one of my top three friends and I thought that I was her best friend, too. I found out, however, that I was wrong. A lot of drama ensued when she started to plan the wedding. Suffice it to say that she kicked me out of her wedding party and we are no longer talking.
The weird thing about this, and what I've been thinking about recently, is the fact that I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. I'm actually...relieved. Relieved that I don't have to deal with her drama and her attitudes. Relieved that I didn't have to be in her wedding. Relieved, I guess, that a dying friendship was quickly put out of its misery in such a way that I don't feel guilty about it. It's interesting that while all this was happening, I reconnected with one of my best friends from high school. My friend from HS and I have picked up right where we left off, and it's weird that I"m only now realizing how much I missed her. I tend to try not to think about people from home because it makes me homesick, so I guess I subconscioulsy blocked her out. But we've been talking quite a bit lately and it's like finding a missing piece of myself. It's awesome that we have so many shared memories, and yet, we don't cling to them because we're mature enough and close enough friends that we are continuing to make some pretty great new memories. And I realize that I haven't had that with Lydia in a long time. She sometimes flat-out refused to talk about college and the only thing she would talk about was her boyfriend and children. Understandable, yes, but at the same time it was like she was denying and putting down her whole college experience like it didn't matter. Which is odd to me, because college had more to do with my growth as a person than anything I've done before or since. She's ignoring a whole part of her life, and that just doesn't seem healthy to me. You have to come to terms with where you've been if you're going to ever come to terms with where you are now. Maybe her immaturity is one of the reasons our friendship fell apart so dramatically. Maybe she regrets the fact that she didn't make enough out of her experience. Or maybe she feels guilty about the fact that when she started to mess around with Rodney he was dating her then-supposedly-best-friend Ashley. Oh, that was catty, but true.
Wow. That was kinda deep for a Tuesday night!
In lighter news--does anyone else watch Chuck? I truly love that show! The humor in it is so great. I love dorks who become heroes. Every nerd has his day! And Chuck's kinda cute, too. he-he.
My christmas tree is so pretty. I have the most random ornaments on it, but I think it's a true reflection of who am am. Especially the dinosaur with eyelashes. That totally screams ANNIE!!
And that totally ruins the seriousness of my earlier paragraphs! lol. I'm gemini, what can I say--a little schizophrenic.
I've recently been thinking about starting to write again. I don't know if it's an idle threat or not, as I've not done much more than think about it. I'm bad about thinking things to death. I need to get one of those 'roundtuit coins because I always say I'm going to get around to doing something, but it never happens. I'll stop procrastinating soon, just you wait!
The weird thing about this, and what I've been thinking about recently, is the fact that I'm not as upset as I thought I would be. I'm actually...relieved. Relieved that I don't have to deal with her drama and her attitudes. Relieved that I didn't have to be in her wedding. Relieved, I guess, that a dying friendship was quickly put out of its misery in such a way that I don't feel guilty about it. It's interesting that while all this was happening, I reconnected with one of my best friends from high school. My friend from HS and I have picked up right where we left off, and it's weird that I"m only now realizing how much I missed her. I tend to try not to think about people from home because it makes me homesick, so I guess I subconscioulsy blocked her out. But we've been talking quite a bit lately and it's like finding a missing piece of myself. It's awesome that we have so many shared memories, and yet, we don't cling to them because we're mature enough and close enough friends that we are continuing to make some pretty great new memories. And I realize that I haven't had that with Lydia in a long time. She sometimes flat-out refused to talk about college and the only thing she would talk about was her boyfriend and children. Understandable, yes, but at the same time it was like she was denying and putting down her whole college experience like it didn't matter. Which is odd to me, because college had more to do with my growth as a person than anything I've done before or since. She's ignoring a whole part of her life, and that just doesn't seem healthy to me. You have to come to terms with where you've been if you're going to ever come to terms with where you are now. Maybe her immaturity is one of the reasons our friendship fell apart so dramatically. Maybe she regrets the fact that she didn't make enough out of her experience. Or maybe she feels guilty about the fact that when she started to mess around with Rodney he was dating her then-supposedly-best-friend Ashley. Oh, that was catty, but true.
Wow. That was kinda deep for a Tuesday night!
In lighter news--does anyone else watch Chuck? I truly love that show! The humor in it is so great. I love dorks who become heroes. Every nerd has his day! And Chuck's kinda cute, too. he-he.
My christmas tree is so pretty. I have the most random ornaments on it, but I think it's a true reflection of who am am. Especially the dinosaur with eyelashes. That totally screams ANNIE!!
And that totally ruins the seriousness of my earlier paragraphs! lol. I'm gemini, what can I say--a little schizophrenic.
I've recently been thinking about starting to write again. I don't know if it's an idle threat or not, as I've not done much more than think about it. I'm bad about thinking things to death. I need to get one of those 'roundtuit coins because I always say I'm going to get around to doing something, but it never happens. I'll stop procrastinating soon, just you wait!