Aug 12, 2006 13:41
We had a little party. I don't have any photos because for some reason someone took all the batteries out of everything (Did someone else have a camera? Maybe Andrew? Please get photos to us). We really, really pissed off the neighbours and now they're talking about getting a council injunction so that we can't have parties (if they were so bothered, why not come around and say something on the night? Although the cops did rock up about 5am). Half of our glasses are broken, the hills hoist is bent and the shed door has some large scorch marks. One wall of the kitchen is inexplicably covered in red wine.
But onto the more amusing stuff, my highlights:
* Lizzie trying to keep up with Aaron (drinks-wise) and ending up paraletic, throwing up all over the front yard. But Aaron got to look after her so that was cute. She was having weird convulsions or something, there is a seizure theory.
* Laura J. being told that she kissed Simon once. She was very drunk at the time, but we all thought she remembered.
* Emerys's pyrotechnically amazing steel wool fire-twirling.
* Early on, Ben dodging a bag of ice I threw (which wouldn't have hit him) and in doing so, jumping straight into the pole of the clothesline.
* Oh! And someone getting clotheslined by the clothesline. How deliciously appropriate.
* Lauren not being able to say the word 'masturbate' - "..and they started to masuate. Masuate. That sounds funny."
* Brook (not Brooke) tripping over the front gate and ripping it out of the wall, plus some guy's sharp call on seeing it: "Fucking gatecrashers."
* The failed Goon of Fortune(tm). We needed tape, damn it.
* Emerys getting pack-raped by girls. No, really. Jesus.
* Trish (not that Trish, the 17-year old Trish) getting just about pack-raped by everybody too. Hi Laura.
* Newo not emoing up. Wow.
* Allirra ripping off James's shirt, literally, for god knows what reason. Trish then claimed it as a trophy.
* The fact that we drank all the booze. In the morning there were two cans of hahn ice left, which me and James drank.
Two bigger stories:
* Some guy from a few houses down the street turned up, some English kid. There was a little fire in a brazier out the back that he thought would be awesome to pour some shellite on. Only he doesn't splash it, he actually pours some and the bottle catches on fire; everyone starts backing away. He drops the bottle (fire on your sleeve!) and decides the best method to extinguishing the bottle is to stamp on it but stands on the middle of the bottle. All the shellite gets squirted out of the bottle at once and ignites, creating a 4 or 5-metre fireball and setting him alight. He does some rolling around and is okay ("I think I burnt my hand, I need a beer.."), the shed damn near catches alight.
* A guy, I remember not who Geoff was taking a slash into the garden, facing away from the group of people I was talking with. Someone else popped up between us and said, "We can't show you this man's face, because he's a dentist." Geoff gave a little wave over his shoulder.
It was all I could hope for and more. Thanks to those who came (what? why am I thanking you misfits? nah, it was awesome). If anyone's together enough to help clean up that would be hot, the place is trashed.