(no subject)
Narcissa fic - one-shot, character sketch, kind of short, kind of depressing, kind of uplifting. I think?
She always hated being left behind, and yet it happened surprisingly often.
It was inevitable, as she was the youngest, that it would happen. Bella and Andromeda trooped off to Hogwarts in a whirlwind of preparation and shopping and promises to write, and Narcissa was left behind, alone with her parents and the occasional letter.
When she went to Hogwarts too, she thought that it would stop.
It didn’t.
Bella left, left into that dark hole of madness, filled with dark euphoria and dreams of a purer world that would never come to pass, no matter how well-aimed her curses or how strong her faith. Bella left a long time before she ever was imprisoned.
And Andromeda…Andromeda, too, truly left prior to the time when she actually put the Mudblood’s ring on her finger and declared herself a Tonks; Andromeda left the first time she said she loved him.
Lucius she thought would never leave her; she had always counted on him to be the shoulder she would lean on, the man that would always, always be there for her, the one person she loved that would always stay. And then he left, taken away to Azkaban, and she was alone with a son that was going to be taken from her as well.
It began to mend, eventually, when Lucius was returned to her and Draco was alive, and Bella returned from Azkaban.
But now it has happened all over again. Even her younger cousins have coursed forward into the life beyond this one, and Bella has gone there too. Narcissa remembers looking at her sister’s body, and it was as if all of the madness and insanity was cleansed by death. The traces of laughter are still on her face, her lips curved upward in a smile. She, like Sirius, laughed as she died, and Narcissa thinks that takes a certain kind of bravery. She and Sirius were never afraid. Narcissa was; she was easily frightened by the dark, and by spiders, and by lightning and thunder, and by dark magic, and by being left behind. She was never one of the fearless ones.
She would never have been able to meet death with a smile.
But she is left behind now, with only a sister that has no desire to see her. Andromeda left Narcissa behind the moment she cast that icy sweep of her eyes (so like their mother’s) toward Narcissa, and turned her head away, in Diagon Alley, after seeing Narcissa with Draco. And that was another abandonment, another tally to the ever-increasing score.
She has always thought of people changing as leaving her behind, for she hasn’t changed so very much over the years. In many ways, she is still the same girl that she was in Hogwarts, in love with Lucius Malfoy and longing for her family to right itself, hungry for influence, to really live. But everyone else changed so much, and she has remained constant. She was left behind by all of the distortions and change.
But in some ways, it is not being left behind. She turns to Lucius and smiles, taking his hand in hers.
Because maybe, although she's left to wallow in the past, sometimes another pathway appears, one that was neglected or unnoticed. And today, on the funeral of her sister as she watches the flames engulf Bellatrix's body - the funeral that Bella had said she would have wanted long ago - she takes that path, walking forward.
This was, incidentally, written for a fic exchange with
farfallerossa - hope you like, Rachel!
She always hated being left behind, and yet it happened surprisingly often.
It was inevitable, as she was the youngest, that it would happen. Bella and Andromeda trooped off to Hogwarts in a whirlwind of preparation and shopping and promises to write, and Narcissa was left behind, alone with her parents and the occasional letter.
When she went to Hogwarts too, she thought that it would stop.
It didn’t.
Bella left, left into that dark hole of madness, filled with dark euphoria and dreams of a purer world that would never come to pass, no matter how well-aimed her curses or how strong her faith. Bella left a long time before she ever was imprisoned.
And Andromeda…Andromeda, too, truly left prior to the time when she actually put the Mudblood’s ring on her finger and declared herself a Tonks; Andromeda left the first time she said she loved him.
Lucius she thought would never leave her; she had always counted on him to be the shoulder she would lean on, the man that would always, always be there for her, the one person she loved that would always stay. And then he left, taken away to Azkaban, and she was alone with a son that was going to be taken from her as well.
It began to mend, eventually, when Lucius was returned to her and Draco was alive, and Bella returned from Azkaban.
But now it has happened all over again. Even her younger cousins have coursed forward into the life beyond this one, and Bella has gone there too. Narcissa remembers looking at her sister’s body, and it was as if all of the madness and insanity was cleansed by death. The traces of laughter are still on her face, her lips curved upward in a smile. She, like Sirius, laughed as she died, and Narcissa thinks that takes a certain kind of bravery. She and Sirius were never afraid. Narcissa was; she was easily frightened by the dark, and by spiders, and by lightning and thunder, and by dark magic, and by being left behind. She was never one of the fearless ones.
She would never have been able to meet death with a smile.
But she is left behind now, with only a sister that has no desire to see her. Andromeda left Narcissa behind the moment she cast that icy sweep of her eyes (so like their mother’s) toward Narcissa, and turned her head away, in Diagon Alley, after seeing Narcissa with Draco. And that was another abandonment, another tally to the ever-increasing score.
She has always thought of people changing as leaving her behind, for she hasn’t changed so very much over the years. In many ways, she is still the same girl that she was in Hogwarts, in love with Lucius Malfoy and longing for her family to right itself, hungry for influence, to really live. But everyone else changed so much, and she has remained constant. She was left behind by all of the distortions and change.
But in some ways, it is not being left behind. She turns to Lucius and smiles, taking his hand in hers.
Because maybe, although she's left to wallow in the past, sometimes another pathway appears, one that was neglected or unnoticed. And today, on the funeral of her sister as she watches the flames engulf Bellatrix's body - the funeral that Bella had said she would have wanted long ago - she takes that path, walking forward.
This was, incidentally, written for a fic exchange with
farfallerossa - hope you like, Rachel!