But Sugar We're Going Down Swinging
Im depressed. Theres nothing anyone can do, no advice that can be given that will make me feel better. I have moved my family into the ghetto & next door to drug using & dealing inconsiderate mexicans. I cant live here for the next 8 months left in my contract. My anxiety is out of control. Trey doesnt want to move & besides that we have no where to go except maybe to one of parents. I feel like crying constantly & my heart constantly feels hurt & like its going to jump out of my chest any minute. I dont know what to do & I dont know that theres anything I can do.
I tryed to talk to Trey last night about trying to get out of our contract somehow. He said he wants to live out the rest of our engagement alone & maybe move in with my mom after tha wedding so we can save up & get a house or something nice. I said thats a good idea and all, but id rather try to sub-let our current place, live with my mom while were engaged & save up to buy a house after were married. We couldnt come to a decision. Ive been moaping around for the past few days because I feel trapped once again in a place that now not only annoys me but scares me to live in. Im still freaked out about the fact that some guy got stabbed after we hadnt even been here a month. I dont feel safe here. I feel like I constantly have to make sure no ones fucking with my car or trying to break in. God this hurts so bad right now.
I didnt even want to come home yesterday. I walked to my ca after my last class & I kept thinking about how I really just didnt want to have to go home. The only reason I wanted to was to see Trey & spend time with him. Which, as usual that evening was spent with me in our bedroom because I cant stand to be in our living room because of all the noise, and Trey on the computer. I didnt want to get out of bed this morning because I kne wit meant that Trey would leave to go to work & I would be here all alone to deal with whatever bullshit I have to put with from my neighbors today. I called the police Monday because some bitch had her music blasting in her car, right after she left the cop drove by, I was so pissed.
I believe in karma, but I didnt do anything to anyone to deserve this. Ive never been a noisy neighbor on purpose, in fact I go out of my way to make sure im not a noisy neighbor. I cant imagine what I did to drive someone as insane as I feel right now. I can see this affecting my relationship because my anxiety will eventually cause me to feel detached from Trey. I know this isnt healthy for my relationship, but I dont know if I can get Trey to understand that. I dont want to start out my marriage or spend my engagement like this. I want out of here, but I really dont think thats going to happen.
I tryed to talk to Trey last night about trying to get out of our contract somehow. He said he wants to live out the rest of our engagement alone & maybe move in with my mom after tha wedding so we can save up & get a house or something nice. I said thats a good idea and all, but id rather try to sub-let our current place, live with my mom while were engaged & save up to buy a house after were married. We couldnt come to a decision. Ive been moaping around for the past few days because I feel trapped once again in a place that now not only annoys me but scares me to live in. Im still freaked out about the fact that some guy got stabbed after we hadnt even been here a month. I dont feel safe here. I feel like I constantly have to make sure no ones fucking with my car or trying to break in. God this hurts so bad right now.
I didnt even want to come home yesterday. I walked to my ca after my last class & I kept thinking about how I really just didnt want to have to go home. The only reason I wanted to was to see Trey & spend time with him. Which, as usual that evening was spent with me in our bedroom because I cant stand to be in our living room because of all the noise, and Trey on the computer. I didnt want to get out of bed this morning because I kne wit meant that Trey would leave to go to work & I would be here all alone to deal with whatever bullshit I have to put with from my neighbors today. I called the police Monday because some bitch had her music blasting in her car, right after she left the cop drove by, I was so pissed.
I believe in karma, but I didnt do anything to anyone to deserve this. Ive never been a noisy neighbor on purpose, in fact I go out of my way to make sure im not a noisy neighbor. I cant imagine what I did to drive someone as insane as I feel right now. I can see this affecting my relationship because my anxiety will eventually cause me to feel detached from Trey. I know this isnt healthy for my relationship, but I dont know if I can get Trey to understand that. I dont want to start out my marriage or spend my engagement like this. I want out of here, but I really dont think thats going to happen.