'cause if you're not really here, then i don't want to be either
I think I'm probably doomed to be alone.
This was not a hopeless prophecy of the future, or some passing, miserable idea. I have thought this through, and all signs seem to point to "alone forever." Here is why.
I weigh far too much, for starters, and do not have a pretty enough face to get away with it. Like it or not, society has a certain standard of beauty that I simply do not measure up to (if you'll pardon the pun). Even guys who insist that they look beyond that are lying. It will always be there, consciously or subconsciously.
Furthermore, my personality is unbelievably grating. I accept that. Even close friends find me annoying most of the time. This is why I don't have a lot of close friends. I am very loud and talkative and strange, and therefore difficult to like being around. Also, I get bored very quickly, which means if I do find myself in a relationship with someone, unless it stays new! and exciting!, I am likely to become tired of it soon after it begins.
Thirdly, I am spineless and gutless, and therefore will NEVER in a frillion years ask out a guy I like, because I assume they will reject me, and then I have ruined a friendship.
Lastly, I am in no way interested in the guys that are typically interested in me. The only guys that have been interested in me (save for one notable exception, M) are not up to the standards that I've set for myself after years of brainwashing from Disney movies.
For the aforementioned reasons, I think it is clear that I am probably going to wind up dying alone in an apartment, and they will only find my body weeks later, half-eaten by wild dogs, when the neighbors complain of the smell.
I hear wild animals go for the tongue first.
This was not a hopeless prophecy of the future, or some passing, miserable idea. I have thought this through, and all signs seem to point to "alone forever." Here is why.
I weigh far too much, for starters, and do not have a pretty enough face to get away with it. Like it or not, society has a certain standard of beauty that I simply do not measure up to (if you'll pardon the pun). Even guys who insist that they look beyond that are lying. It will always be there, consciously or subconsciously.
Furthermore, my personality is unbelievably grating. I accept that. Even close friends find me annoying most of the time. This is why I don't have a lot of close friends. I am very loud and talkative and strange, and therefore difficult to like being around. Also, I get bored very quickly, which means if I do find myself in a relationship with someone, unless it stays new! and exciting!, I am likely to become tired of it soon after it begins.
Thirdly, I am spineless and gutless, and therefore will NEVER in a frillion years ask out a guy I like, because I assume they will reject me, and then I have ruined a friendship.
Lastly, I am in no way interested in the guys that are typically interested in me. The only guys that have been interested in me (save for one notable exception, M) are not up to the standards that I've set for myself after years of brainwashing from Disney movies.
For the aforementioned reasons, I think it is clear that I am probably going to wind up dying alone in an apartment, and they will only find my body weeks later, half-eaten by wild dogs, when the neighbors complain of the smell.
I hear wild animals go for the tongue first.