Burns & scars
some people's eyes pop out. like those people in Guiness. they said it happened by itself when they sneezed once. that's how they figured out they could do it. wouldn't that be weird? sneezing & then your eye popping out? it would be totally uncalled for...
I got my hair cut today. It's at my shoulders & fluffy & with whispy layers flipped back & I love it. I got it highglighted golden blonde, too. Then I purged my lunch. Then I bought some pretty jewelery. & tried on some clothes that I looked like a cow in. Then I came home & binged on & purged my dinner. Ironically, when I was preparing my binge, I burned the two fingers I purge with on the stove.
On a happier note, I saw my friend who I hadn't seen in way too long & we talked about my bulimia, & he told me he was bulimic for years. It was so comforting, we laughed & were serious; compared stories & feelings. Although it was so very theraputic to learn more about him & finally feel understood, I wouldn't wish the pain I feel with this illness on my worst enemy; let alone a beautiful friend. He knows exactly what I'm feeling & exactly what to say. One day I will look back on this & say I conquored it; with the help of him, my parents, Nina, Fini, Gayatri, Justina... all the beautiful people who were there for me. I'll also have knowledge about eating disorders & how serious & complex they are that no one could learn from a textbook. It is not just what you eat or vanity; holy fuck. How naive people are.
Soon... I will be a free spirit.
I got my hair cut today. It's at my shoulders & fluffy & with whispy layers flipped back & I love it. I got it highglighted golden blonde, too. Then I purged my lunch. Then I bought some pretty jewelery. & tried on some clothes that I looked like a cow in. Then I came home & binged on & purged my dinner. Ironically, when I was preparing my binge, I burned the two fingers I purge with on the stove.
On a happier note, I saw my friend who I hadn't seen in way too long & we talked about my bulimia, & he told me he was bulimic for years. It was so comforting, we laughed & were serious; compared stories & feelings. Although it was so very theraputic to learn more about him & finally feel understood, I wouldn't wish the pain I feel with this illness on my worst enemy; let alone a beautiful friend. He knows exactly what I'm feeling & exactly what to say. One day I will look back on this & say I conquored it; with the help of him, my parents, Nina, Fini, Gayatri, Justina... all the beautiful people who were there for me. I'll also have knowledge about eating disorders & how serious & complex they are that no one could learn from a textbook. It is not just what you eat or vanity; holy fuck. How naive people are.
Soon... I will be a free spirit.