(no subject)
i hate him. i really do. or maybe its not that i hate him, its the fact that i cant be with him. we're friends. i hate being friends. its never going to be more that that. he flirts. thats all. i have that i dont know if he knows. i think he knows. its not that hard to figure out. but then again hes stupid and oblivious as heck. i hate being friends with him. because i dont wat to be friends. i want more than that. but at the same time i love being friends. i love the things he says and the way he talks, dresses, smells (so good). it really dosent help that he basically leads me on. hugs are evil. he hugs me every day. i've been like this all week, so he knows that i'm pissed off, so he always asks me if i'm feeling better. i said no. he wrapped his arms around me and gave me this HUGE hug and tells me to feel better. my friend alex who was sitting next to me said "did you kiss her?" i dont know what it looked like because i couldnt really see anything... a friendly hug. WHY. i want more. i know he dosent return the feeling. i hate this. i really do. why do boys have to be so confusing? everyone likes him. i'm not even kidding. people are like, obsessed with him. at the beginning of the year people were switching into his classes. he could have anyone he wanted. what are the chances that hes going to pick me? i know, your going to say your great! but really. guys are shallow. i'm not attractive or skinny like the other girls in my grade. your going to say that i'm pretty because you are my friends. but really, if i wasnt your friend would you still think that?
i hate him. i hate this. i'll always be friends with him. but i dont know if i want to be. is it bad that i want more? hes a great friend and i dont want to loose that, i've said ti before. i think about this way too much. i hate that i cant stop thinking about him. i go through phases when i'm fine and i dont hate him because he didnt do anything. but after i see him i start to ate him again. he really didnt do anything. i shouldnt hate him or be mad at him. yet i do, and am. i loath him. why? what have i dont to be confused out of my mind?
i dont understand this at all.
i hate him. i hate this. i'll always be friends with him. but i dont know if i want to be. is it bad that i want more? hes a great friend and i dont want to loose that, i've said ti before. i think about this way too much. i hate that i cant stop thinking about him. i go through phases when i'm fine and i dont hate him because he didnt do anything. but after i see him i start to ate him again. he really didnt do anything. i shouldnt hate him or be mad at him. yet i do, and am. i loath him. why? what have i dont to be confused out of my mind?
i dont understand this at all.