really, I just want presents.
Today on Cranky Single Lady Theatre: wedding showers!
Okay, so, I get it. Someone's getting married; their relatives and friends throw them parties where they are forced to play stupid games involving clothespins, or jelly donuts, or bras made of gift bows, and everyone eats tiny food. In the end, Getting Married Lady has cookie trays and measuring spoons and matching towel sets and gift cards and pretty (though ultimately useless) serving dishes. Or perhaps she has lots of sexy lingere, depending on the kind of shower being thrown, but for the purpose of this entry, let's focus on the first shower I described.
Now, I have recently been going through boxes, repacking my possessions as I prepare to move to a new apartment. For the last few years I have lived in housing where furniture, dishes, pots and pans, etc. have largely been supplied. There was a period of cohabitation with my best friend, also a Single Lady, where between the two of us, we had a very well-stocked kitchen. Every kind of baking dish you could imagine! And some you probably wouldn't think of! (Yogourt maker, ravioli press, madeline tray, I am looking at you.) Now that I am venturing out on my own, however, I am noticing some deficiencies in my kitchenware. I have one baking stone, one cookie tray, a few wooden spoons and spatulas, and a decent amount of Tupperware. No muffin tins, no Pyrex, no dish towels or potholders or oven mitts, none of your bog-standard oh-crap-it's-a-wedding-shower type paraphernalia.
I have a few options, I suppose. I could buy the stuff myself, or ask for it for Christmas, or just live without. This hardly seems fair, though. Getting Married Ladies get shower gifts and wedding gifts and Christmas presents. I want the Jamie Oliver line of T-Fal cookery, which I could put on a registry, if I were getting married. Some family or group of friends would pool their money and get it for me, and I would be a Happy Married Lady with kickass, sexy, matching pots and pans. Instead, I have to yearn from afar, knowing that the price point, even on sale, is beyond what I can afford on my own.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that I buy myself a set of cookie sheets and a muffin tin. If I ever do have a wedding shower of my very own, I will have deprived some elderly (for they will certainly be elderly by that point in the future) aunt of the perfect oh-crap-it's-a-wedding-shower gift. Or perhaps they will get me the same set, and then I will have two, which seems a little redundant.
And what about the Single Dudes out there? I'm sure they would like to have cookie trays on which to make nachos, or a giant anodized pot in which to cook superb mac'n'cheese!
What I am suggesting is that all us Cranky Singles band together and make our voices heard. Just because we haven't found the mythical "One", or have no desire to be married, or would some day like to get married without any sort of preamble by a dude who resembles Elvis, does not mean that we don't want cookies and clean dishes! It is time for Singles Showers to come into vogue. Why should we have to wait? Singles deserve nice things, too.
Plus, I want someone to throw a party with tiny food for me.
Okay, so, I get it. Someone's getting married; their relatives and friends throw them parties where they are forced to play stupid games involving clothespins, or jelly donuts, or bras made of gift bows, and everyone eats tiny food. In the end, Getting Married Lady has cookie trays and measuring spoons and matching towel sets and gift cards and pretty (though ultimately useless) serving dishes. Or perhaps she has lots of sexy lingere, depending on the kind of shower being thrown, but for the purpose of this entry, let's focus on the first shower I described.
Now, I have recently been going through boxes, repacking my possessions as I prepare to move to a new apartment. For the last few years I have lived in housing where furniture, dishes, pots and pans, etc. have largely been supplied. There was a period of cohabitation with my best friend, also a Single Lady, where between the two of us, we had a very well-stocked kitchen. Every kind of baking dish you could imagine! And some you probably wouldn't think of! (Yogourt maker, ravioli press, madeline tray, I am looking at you.) Now that I am venturing out on my own, however, I am noticing some deficiencies in my kitchenware. I have one baking stone, one cookie tray, a few wooden spoons and spatulas, and a decent amount of Tupperware. No muffin tins, no Pyrex, no dish towels or potholders or oven mitts, none of your bog-standard oh-crap-it's-a-wedding-shower type paraphernalia.
I have a few options, I suppose. I could buy the stuff myself, or ask for it for Christmas, or just live without. This hardly seems fair, though. Getting Married Ladies get shower gifts and wedding gifts and Christmas presents. I want the Jamie Oliver line of T-Fal cookery, which I could put on a registry, if I were getting married. Some family or group of friends would pool their money and get it for me, and I would be a Happy Married Lady with kickass, sexy, matching pots and pans. Instead, I have to yearn from afar, knowing that the price point, even on sale, is beyond what I can afford on my own.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, that I buy myself a set of cookie sheets and a muffin tin. If I ever do have a wedding shower of my very own, I will have deprived some elderly (for they will certainly be elderly by that point in the future) aunt of the perfect oh-crap-it's-a-wedding-shower gift. Or perhaps they will get me the same set, and then I will have two, which seems a little redundant.
And what about the Single Dudes out there? I'm sure they would like to have cookie trays on which to make nachos, or a giant anodized pot in which to cook superb mac'n'cheese!
What I am suggesting is that all us Cranky Singles band together and make our voices heard. Just because we haven't found the mythical "One", or have no desire to be married, or would some day like to get married without any sort of preamble by a dude who resembles Elvis, does not mean that we don't want cookies and clean dishes! It is time for Singles Showers to come into vogue. Why should we have to wait? Singles deserve nice things, too.
Plus, I want someone to throw a party with tiny food for me.