In which I whine a good deal about nothing =/
Uhg... I hate people. I hate that everyone at work gets to call in sick whenever the fuck they please, but when I do it (because I am legit-sick) I get forced to come in anyway. I hate that no matter how hard I try, and no matter how hard I work my ass off at this job, no one ever tells me "good job" or "nice work". I only ever get told what I'm going wrong. I hate that when I'm fucking swamped and all alone and doing my damndest to go as fast as I can, customers STILL get bitchy at me, shout through the speaker, and speed off. I hate that when I burned my hand with boiling hot water (its still all shiny and red) AND I did not bother to call for someone to come in (I knew I would just get told no anway) and I waited for other people to show up before I asked to go home, it was a huge fucking chore and pissed off a bunch of people just because I left thirty fucking minutes early. I hate it. I hate it. Fucking job. Why the hell doesn't anyone appreciate how hard I work?
Even people who are supposed to be my "friends" at work treat me like shit. Mandy and Steph didn't even ask if I was okay when they came in and my hands were all wrapped up in bandages. They fucking showed up half an hour late today, which meant I was left BY MYSELF at the rush part of the morning. It was a fucking bitchy thing to do-- especially after the night I had, I was so fucking stressed, and they didn't even apologize! They were fucking BITCHY about it! "Can you take my headset so I can go now, please?" "*SIGH* I guess..." WTF. Nice guys, nice. And when I went out with them, all they did was bitch about work and I couldn't even say anything. I maybe said 2 words for the whole 2ish hour walk. Tch. Fucking rude. And Lori, fuck, she goes "Did you scrub brush the floor over here?" "Yeah, I always do the scrub brushing unless it gets really busy and I dont have time." "Huh... really." Fuck, if you see something I did wrong, or something I missed, just flat out tell me. Don't fucking be all sarcastic and sound like you think I'm lying through my teeth.
And I know this is so lame but... I'm still upset about what happened with my laptop and my wii and games and what not. Yes, it is a pain in the ass that my stuff is gone, but it isn't even that. It's that... fuck, she pretended to be my friend. And I'm such an idiot, I really liked her. Fuck, she could have hurt my cats, or something. And the fact that Gordon was in on it too? WFT? What the hell has that entire fucking household conspiring against me? What the hell did I do? So what, I broke up with my ex, boo-fucking-who. It happens, right? It's not fair... and now she's hacking into my online stuff, she deleted my deviant art (and theres no way to get the arts back cuz she has the comp) she's just... doing everything possible to hurt me. Fuck, and for what? What the hell did I do? And then, her and the two dick heads come to my work, and hang around and make a big mess? And no one can do anything? I just have to sit and take it? It makes me sick, it makes me fucking sick. It's so unfair, and I feel so betrayed, and I just wish someone could do something but no one will.
And the fucking lame part is I'm lonely, but I have no fucking desire to open myself up to anyone anymore. Chantel says we can prolly get a doggie when we get back from vacation... I just want something cute and fluffy that loves me, that will go with me places, and that I know wont fucking stab me in the back.
I just... I'm trying to get over it. I am. It just... it makes me sick.