Slayage rant [locked to those who know about slayers and such]
Someone around here needs better organizational skills. I understand that for, like, the last zillion centuries, there was only one Slayer. You ask me, the Council got lazy. But now that there's hundreds of slayers running all over the place, they need to get their asses in gear and start.... I don't know. Counciling.
There should always be a slayer in every major city. Especially cities with HELLMOUTHS. Seems most logical, right? And yeah, we've got Buffy in New York, and since she was the only slayer for years, she should be enough. But she isn't always here. There needs to be a system in place for dealing with slayers who go away on extended hostage situations vacations. A person should be able to call up the Council and request a temp or something.
But no. As long as Buffy's gone, the slaying seems to have fallen to me. Which sucks because hello - not a slayer. I haven't trained for this. I suck at fighting when I don't have a crossbow or a sword and I'm not as handy with the puns. But I do it anyway because if I don't, who will? No one, that's who. Because, as I already said, we have NO SLAYERS here.
I killed 3 vampires last nigiht. And only two were while I was patrolling. The other was later on, at a 7-11 of all places. I was on a late-night snack run (so was the vamp, I guess), and there she was. Jumped out in front of me all bumpy-faced and blocked my path. Then she just stood there, so I stayed put and waited to see what she was gonna do. I figured I was off duty, so unless she offered me violence, I wouldn't attack her. I had a stake in my hand, though, hidden behind my leg, just in case. Cause vampires? Violence is usually all they've got to offer. Plus, she was standing between me and ice cream, and that's never a good idea.
So I'm standing there, all braced to fight, waiting for her to lunge at me, and what happens? She recognized me. I guess even the undead like juicy celebrity gossip, cause all of a sudden she starts babbling and squealing at me about how cool it is that I'm all knocked up with Orlando Bloom's love child.
God.
Oh, but then? Before I can say anything, she's got me by the shoulders and she's leaning in to bite me. Ugh. I hate when the girl vamps do that. Way too gay for me. So I shoved the stake into her chest before she could start drinking and dusted her. It just pissed me off. I understand biting people is, you know, in their blood and all, and normally, I wouldn't blame her for trying it. I mean, I'm clean and well-groomed and I stay in good shape and try to eat healthy. I don't smoke or do drugs. As people go, I'm probably pretty damn delicious. But biting a pregnant woman? I don't care if you don't have soul, that's no excuse to be so inconsiderate. Honestly.
Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not really pregnant. But she didn't know that! Couldn't she eat the store clerk instead? I would have still dusted her for that, but at least I wouldn't have lost all respect for her first. Made it hard to enjoy my ice cream when I got home.
And now I've got yet another bite mark on my neck. I really need to invest in more turtlenecks.
There should always be a slayer in every major city. Especially cities with HELLMOUTHS. Seems most logical, right? And yeah, we've got Buffy in New York, and since she was the only slayer for years, she should be enough. But she isn't always here. There needs to be a system in place for dealing with slayers who go away on extended hostage situations vacations. A person should be able to call up the Council and request a temp or something.
But no. As long as Buffy's gone, the slaying seems to have fallen to me. Which sucks because hello - not a slayer. I haven't trained for this. I suck at fighting when I don't have a crossbow or a sword and I'm not as handy with the puns. But I do it anyway because if I don't, who will? No one, that's who. Because, as I already said, we have NO SLAYERS here.
I killed 3 vampires last nigiht. And only two were while I was patrolling. The other was later on, at a 7-11 of all places. I was on a late-night snack run (so was the vamp, I guess), and there she was. Jumped out in front of me all bumpy-faced and blocked my path. Then she just stood there, so I stayed put and waited to see what she was gonna do. I figured I was off duty, so unless she offered me violence, I wouldn't attack her. I had a stake in my hand, though, hidden behind my leg, just in case. Cause vampires? Violence is usually all they've got to offer. Plus, she was standing between me and ice cream, and that's never a good idea.
So I'm standing there, all braced to fight, waiting for her to lunge at me, and what happens? She recognized me. I guess even the undead like juicy celebrity gossip, cause all of a sudden she starts babbling and squealing at me about how cool it is that I'm all knocked up with Orlando Bloom's love child.
God.
Oh, but then? Before I can say anything, she's got me by the shoulders and she's leaning in to bite me. Ugh. I hate when the girl vamps do that. Way too gay for me. So I shoved the stake into her chest before she could start drinking and dusted her. It just pissed me off. I understand biting people is, you know, in their blood and all, and normally, I wouldn't blame her for trying it. I mean, I'm clean and well-groomed and I stay in good shape and try to eat healthy. I don't smoke or do drugs. As people go, I'm probably pretty damn delicious. But biting a pregnant woman? I don't care if you don't have soul, that's no excuse to be so inconsiderate. Honestly.
Yeah, yeah, I know I'm not really pregnant. But she didn't know that! Couldn't she eat the store clerk instead? I would have still dusted her for that, but at least I wouldn't have lost all respect for her first. Made it hard to enjoy my ice cream when I got home.
And now I've got yet another bite mark on my neck. I really need to invest in more turtlenecks.