One final step (time is very, very bendy)
If Cordelia is perfectly honest with herself (which, considering how brutally honest she tends to be with the rest of the world, isn't as much as you'd expect), she's been putting this off. Sure, the doctor told her she shouldn't travel yet, and that she needs lots of rest to make up for all the moving around she did right after her surgery, but she knows her body enough to know that she could have made this trip sooner. She was just afraid to.
She's been in Boston for about a week, telling people there that she's alive again, writing letters, even going out now and then for walks. The doctor said walking is the best thing for her in the early part of her recovery, and some days it's nice to just go out and get some fresh air. Besides, living in a house with Kara 24/7 can take a lot of energy, and she doesn't have the luxury of basically dying for 8 hours or so a day like Angel does. So she walks, and breathes, and thinks. It's the thinking that's the hardest. The thinking, and the empty ache that's always inside her now.
But now it's time to face facts, and the fact is, she needs to find Orlando and tell him she's alive. Because if she doesn't do it soon, someone else is bound to. Or, even worse, a magazine will spot her out and about and report it. The last thing she wants is for him to read about her in the National Enquirer... not that he really ever reads that, but stranger things have happened. Like, well, pretty much her entire life. Which is why she needs to find him as soon as possible. It's not going to be easy, telling him what happened, telling him about the baby. And then after all that, she has to find some way to tell him she wants a divorce, and that is going to be the hardest of them all. She's been worrying that she shouldn't do it all at once like that, that maybe she should wait until he's gotten used to the idea of her being back before dropping the bombshell. Is it too cruel to come back to him this way, only to leave again?
She'd talked to her doctor yesterday and gotten a very reluctant okay to travel, and only then after she'd sworn to every deity she could think of that she wouldn't drive. Which leaves flying, because Cordelia Chase on a bus? Never going to happen. Luckily, Orlando hadn't gotten around to canceling her credit cards, so she's able to use one to book her flight - First Class, of course. Doctor's orders. Okay, so his orders had been to stay comfortable, but hey - what's more comfortable than wide, leather seats and complimentary champagne? She's done with her pain meds, so alcohol's allowed again, in small quantities.
Logan to JFK isn't a very long flight, so once she's at the airport, she stops by a newsstand to pick up some light reading material. She's already read the most recent issues of most of her "usual" maganizes (Cosmo, Vanity Fair, People), thanks to all that down time that comes with surgery recovery, so she grabs a few tabloids instead. She's been away long enough that she still needs to catch up on all the gossip and scandals in the entertainment world. She missed Britney's second spawning, the first Suri sighting, and countless hook-ups and break-ups. Who knows what else was happening while she was dead?
She waits until they're in the air before she opens the first magazine. The flight attendant has been giving her curious looks, and she's starting to worry that she's been recognized. She quickly shakes off the thought and reminds herself that she really isn't all that famous, and the woman's probably just jealous of her hair. Which, if she does say so herself, is looking pretty damn good today.
Sadly, her good hair day buzz isn't to last long. A few pages into the first tabloid, past the latest Paris Hilton scandal, she finds herself looking at a picture of her husband... with another man. Well, not with with - it may be a sleazy tabloid, but even they're forced to draw the line somewhere. But it's enough. People don't kiss like that when they're just friends. The article is touting the headline "Orlando Bloom Finds Love Again After Wife's Tragic Death... With a Man!" She can't help snorting a bit at the shock it implies. That part isn't much of a surprise at all to her, but the timing of it, now that's a different story. It's not that she wouldn't have wanted him to move on. It's only natural that he would, in time. But two months? Not even, if the date under the photo is right. And while she knows whatever love he felt for her was more a friend's love than a husband's, what about their baby? He'd wanted a child so badly, and had been so excited about theirs. She would have expected the loss of their child alone would have completely crushed him. Which was one reason she had been dragging her feet about finding him. She knew the second he saw she was alive again, his first thought would have been that the baby was all right too, and to have to tell him otherwise, and dash that shining hope, just might have killed her. Yes, she wants a divorce, but that doesn't mean she's stopped loving him. And the last thing in the world she wants to do is hurt him.
But now here he is, staring back at her - or not, technically, as his eyes are closed in the picture - in the arms of another man, and obviously very happy to be there. A quick search through the other magazines turns up two more images, taken in different locations, but with the same man. Not all kissing, but even in the ones where they aren't, the expressions on both men's faces make their relationsihp pretty clear.
Orlando has moved on. Quickly. Cordelia sits back with a sigh and closes her eyes, trying to work out her emotions. She's hurt, naturally. No one likes to feel so easily replaced. She's always thought she was the kind of woman a man took years to get over. So okay, maybe that's a tall order in this case, given the unique nature of their relationship, but still, love is love, and he'd always said he loved her. He'd even said he was in love with her. Was that just a lie? Had he only said it so she'd stay with him, despite the problems they'd had? And that thought brings along the anger. So what if he thought she was dead? There's a mourning period for these things! Two months is not a mourning period. Hell, she's mourned shoes longer than two months!
Is she being irrational? Possibly. But Cordelia is a proud woman, always has been. This kind of thing is a serious blow to the ego, and that's not something she's ever been particularly graceful about accepting.
Then the doubts start. What if this "new love" isn't all that new after all? What if Orlando already knew him, was already seeing him on the side? The baby had complicated things, made their marriage more of a long-term investment than it had been before. He'd been so determined to make it work, but what if that was yet another act, to cover the fact that he already had himself a side dish stashed away? The idea that he could have been cheating on her, even if there's no evidence to back it up, only works to heighten her anger. By the time the plane has landed and she's hailed a cab to take her to his house, she's practically seething with it.
You know what they say about a woman scorned. Well, Cordelia Chase scorned is way beyond that. It doesn't even matter anymore that she was coming here to end their marriage. She's furious now, full of righteous indignation, and above all else, scared to death. She'd expected joy from him when he saw her again, just like the rest of her friends. Relief, elation, hugs, even some tears. But now, she's afraid all she's going to get is disappointment and despair, and she's not sure how she's going to be able to deal with that. What was supposed to be good, happy news might now be his worst fear come to life - so to speak. And the thought that she is in any way unwanted, well, that's her worst fear. So when she steps up to the front door and rings the bell, she wraps all that anger around herself like a shield to keep the doubts and fear safely inside, and waits for someone to answer.
She's been in Boston for about a week, telling people there that she's alive again, writing letters, even going out now and then for walks. The doctor said walking is the best thing for her in the early part of her recovery, and some days it's nice to just go out and get some fresh air. Besides, living in a house with Kara 24/7 can take a lot of energy, and she doesn't have the luxury of basically dying for 8 hours or so a day like Angel does. So she walks, and breathes, and thinks. It's the thinking that's the hardest. The thinking, and the empty ache that's always inside her now.
But now it's time to face facts, and the fact is, she needs to find Orlando and tell him she's alive. Because if she doesn't do it soon, someone else is bound to. Or, even worse, a magazine will spot her out and about and report it. The last thing she wants is for him to read about her in the National Enquirer... not that he really ever reads that, but stranger things have happened. Like, well, pretty much her entire life. Which is why she needs to find him as soon as possible. It's not going to be easy, telling him what happened, telling him about the baby. And then after all that, she has to find some way to tell him she wants a divorce, and that is going to be the hardest of them all. She's been worrying that she shouldn't do it all at once like that, that maybe she should wait until he's gotten used to the idea of her being back before dropping the bombshell. Is it too cruel to come back to him this way, only to leave again?
She'd talked to her doctor yesterday and gotten a very reluctant okay to travel, and only then after she'd sworn to every deity she could think of that she wouldn't drive. Which leaves flying, because Cordelia Chase on a bus? Never going to happen. Luckily, Orlando hadn't gotten around to canceling her credit cards, so she's able to use one to book her flight - First Class, of course. Doctor's orders. Okay, so his orders had been to stay comfortable, but hey - what's more comfortable than wide, leather seats and complimentary champagne? She's done with her pain meds, so alcohol's allowed again, in small quantities.
Logan to JFK isn't a very long flight, so once she's at the airport, she stops by a newsstand to pick up some light reading material. She's already read the most recent issues of most of her "usual" maganizes (Cosmo, Vanity Fair, People), thanks to all that down time that comes with surgery recovery, so she grabs a few tabloids instead. She's been away long enough that she still needs to catch up on all the gossip and scandals in the entertainment world. She missed Britney's second spawning, the first Suri sighting, and countless hook-ups and break-ups. Who knows what else was happening while she was dead?
She waits until they're in the air before she opens the first magazine. The flight attendant has been giving her curious looks, and she's starting to worry that she's been recognized. She quickly shakes off the thought and reminds herself that she really isn't all that famous, and the woman's probably just jealous of her hair. Which, if she does say so herself, is looking pretty damn good today.
Sadly, her good hair day buzz isn't to last long. A few pages into the first tabloid, past the latest Paris Hilton scandal, she finds herself looking at a picture of her husband... with another man. Well, not with with - it may be a sleazy tabloid, but even they're forced to draw the line somewhere. But it's enough. People don't kiss like that when they're just friends. The article is touting the headline "Orlando Bloom Finds Love Again After Wife's Tragic Death... With a Man!" She can't help snorting a bit at the shock it implies. That part isn't much of a surprise at all to her, but the timing of it, now that's a different story. It's not that she wouldn't have wanted him to move on. It's only natural that he would, in time. But two months? Not even, if the date under the photo is right. And while she knows whatever love he felt for her was more a friend's love than a husband's, what about their baby? He'd wanted a child so badly, and had been so excited about theirs. She would have expected the loss of their child alone would have completely crushed him. Which was one reason she had been dragging her feet about finding him. She knew the second he saw she was alive again, his first thought would have been that the baby was all right too, and to have to tell him otherwise, and dash that shining hope, just might have killed her. Yes, she wants a divorce, but that doesn't mean she's stopped loving him. And the last thing in the world she wants to do is hurt him.
But now here he is, staring back at her - or not, technically, as his eyes are closed in the picture - in the arms of another man, and obviously very happy to be there. A quick search through the other magazines turns up two more images, taken in different locations, but with the same man. Not all kissing, but even in the ones where they aren't, the expressions on both men's faces make their relationsihp pretty clear.
Orlando has moved on. Quickly. Cordelia sits back with a sigh and closes her eyes, trying to work out her emotions. She's hurt, naturally. No one likes to feel so easily replaced. She's always thought she was the kind of woman a man took years to get over. So okay, maybe that's a tall order in this case, given the unique nature of their relationship, but still, love is love, and he'd always said he loved her. He'd even said he was in love with her. Was that just a lie? Had he only said it so she'd stay with him, despite the problems they'd had? And that thought brings along the anger. So what if he thought she was dead? There's a mourning period for these things! Two months is not a mourning period. Hell, she's mourned shoes longer than two months!
Is she being irrational? Possibly. But Cordelia is a proud woman, always has been. This kind of thing is a serious blow to the ego, and that's not something she's ever been particularly graceful about accepting.
Then the doubts start. What if this "new love" isn't all that new after all? What if Orlando already knew him, was already seeing him on the side? The baby had complicated things, made their marriage more of a long-term investment than it had been before. He'd been so determined to make it work, but what if that was yet another act, to cover the fact that he already had himself a side dish stashed away? The idea that he could have been cheating on her, even if there's no evidence to back it up, only works to heighten her anger. By the time the plane has landed and she's hailed a cab to take her to his house, she's practically seething with it.
You know what they say about a woman scorned. Well, Cordelia Chase scorned is way beyond that. It doesn't even matter anymore that she was coming here to end their marriage. She's furious now, full of righteous indignation, and above all else, scared to death. She'd expected joy from him when he saw her again, just like the rest of her friends. Relief, elation, hugs, even some tears. But now, she's afraid all she's going to get is disappointment and despair, and she's not sure how she's going to be able to deal with that. What was supposed to be good, happy news might now be his worst fear come to life - so to speak. And the thought that she is in any way unwanted, well, that's her worst fear. So when she steps up to the front door and rings the bell, she wraps all that anger around herself like a shield to keep the doubts and fear safely inside, and waits for someone to answer.