dans spying on me. nice. im making private my private posts that he made private. weird,huh?
Christine's Recent Private Posts! [Jul. 2nd, 2004|06:29 am]
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | magic ]
Things are....... [Jul. 2nd, 2004|04:02 am]
...........so messed up. I've fucked up. Gah.
Right ok this scared the shit out of me, but when i woke her up and asked her about it she claims that it was just in life Uni and everything!
1am. My Sharonaaaaaaaa. [Jul. 2nd, 2004|12:57 am]
[ How Is Le Jamrag? | hopeful ]
[ in my eary-holes | The Knack - My Sharona. ]
Pretty average day. Work, downloading, walking, tescos. Cheap sausage rolls at the reduced counter. Yep yep yep.
Got all of 'Crash' downloaded, and had a great chat with my wifey, Cassie :)
I'll be going to see her after Oxegen....which David Bowie has pulled out of!!!! Which is sad, but at least the Cure will still be there, among others.
Anyway, My Sharona, Crash, and day in town tomorrow.
Wuv u.
x
She's still going to Cassie's, I think this is good, because she seems to like this distance thing, and hopefully she'll talk to Cassie about it all and maybe get it sorted if it isn't allready!
Another private entry. [Jun. 18th, 2004|09:29 am]
So, I've been awake for about 24 hours now, maybe more. Occasionally thinking about mark. trying to block out what is probably just a wee crush. A fantastic friendship is growing in all of this. Do i really want to ruin everything for something that could be nothing............ooooh total eclipse of the heart solo type synthy thing................
Telling Filby about it now.
Wonder what she'll have to say.
I can't help but think what if she didn't mind ruining everything over this little crush...along with all the songs etc this is very very confusing for me. I think I'm going to change a lot of my main passwords, I'm going to have my privacy. I'm going to wallow in it!
private entry.....*saddened* [Jun. 18th, 2004|12:09 am]
[ How Is Le Jamrag? | confused ]
[ in my eary-holes | Poison. Every Rose has It's Thorn. ]
i love dan. i really do. when i look at dan, i see years and years ahead. but sometimes, when i think of what i want to do with my life- his lack of gumption and enthusiasm regarding a career bothers me....just this 'book' he's going to write, so i try to encourage him. but it is so very hard.
but lately, its weird, actually fancying/lusting after/feeling a connection with another male type. i didn't want it to happen, and i'm sure/i hope it will go away...but right now its taking up residence in my stomach along with the ball of hate i so often rant about these days.
he's really nice this guy, just cheeky, honest, troubled, and the nicest eyes. not as pretty and big as dans, and i dare not get lost in them, just in case he realises what im thinking. But they flash at me, and they say to me "I understand you" Which is amazing, because not many people really truly get me. Dan loves me and accepts me, but I doubt he understands me. Not really.
Whitesnake is helping me at this moment..."like a drifter I was born to walk alone!!" ...i think i need to fuck off around the world for 6months after I graduate. Without anyone. Just to find out who I am. Dan would be upset. So would I. but I need it, a journey of self discovery or some shit. So I can come back ready to love him, or I dont know, to come back and be more wise. Kind of like my 'in-life coming of age movie' ......
Bottom line, I love Dan. This new thing is most likely infatuation. Just a nice warm feeling. So I hope can continue the friendship with this person without fucking up. I am 20 on MOnday after all. All grown up. Like fuck I am.
Don't want to be either....
"Every rose has its thorn.....just like every night has its dawn, just like every cowboy sings a sad sad song...every rose has its thorn."
After reading this all I can say is at least now I've got a job, and at least she still Loves me!
[Jun. 17th, 2004|03:13 am]
bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter.....
About what? Well, maybe somebody out there knows because I have not got a fucking clue. Just have this huge not of it in my stomach. Should probably make this entry private uh? Will do. Typing to my self now, oh the joys of insanity.
Buh bye.
This I don't have a clue about!
So proper post now....The job's really cool, sleep patern's very slowly righting itself, just read a conversation between Christine and Cassie, so I'm going to copy and paste it into here then I'm going to wake her up and ask her about it!
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*mwah* wb
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*mwah mwah mwah*
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
i think you're amazing andi i wanna tell you a secret
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
ok, go.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
and you have to bear in mind that im drunk and bored and embarrassed and that it doesnt mean anything uncomfortbale i hope and that it just wont change the fact that we;re friends and i know you're in love with dan but christ you're the most amazing woman ive ever met and im not over you. I dont wanna fuck you up or upset or annoy you but im not and i still really really like you. vodka isnt alwa
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
ys a good idea, see?
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
u can tell me anything.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
i never stop thinking about you sweetie.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
and my emotions for dan, are completely different from the ones i feel for you.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
im not over you either.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
the problem is i think my emotions for you are the same as your emotions for dan... i thought i loved you and i still do
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
no but my emotions for you are....different in the same way, if you know what I mean.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
through the whole thing i just wanted you to be happy and i still do and if it werent for the vodka i would have shut up because i dont wanto complicate things for you in anyway but jesus, if you knew how amazing you are... ive never been more smitten.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*giddyish giggle and blush*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
lol...i know u might think I'm bullshitting, but I totally feel the same things. It is confusing, but what can I do?
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
its jsut the way it is.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
i know what you mean
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
i just wish i could see a solution
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I need your hugs now!!!!!
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
its diffuicult to believe you actually like me the same as i do but i want youto be okay either way and HEY! *HUUUUUUUUUUUGS*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
Me and Dan aren't together anyway because of my confusion. We're 'on a break'
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
awwwww.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
well i dont know exactly how you feeel, but I know my stomach goes funy when i see pictures of you, and Im always telling people how much I miss you.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
do you want to know how i feel?
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
You're drunk, you might regret telling me.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
... is that a no? '
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
lol, I dont know. I'd like to know, but I'd like to think you wouldn't regret telling me.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
If you think you won't regret it, then tell me.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
ive wanted to tel you since we became friends again, but at the same time.. if its going to upset you or anything then i wont say...
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I don't think it will upset me. It might make me go goofy and soppy. I don't know.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
It won't upset me though.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
well... i think youre stunning and beautiful, the most amazing woman ive ever met and ive never loved anyone or felt so close or attracted or attached or amazed or inspired by anyone in my life. I do love you, honestly and want you more than i can say. If it wasnt for dan i'd have
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
locked you in my basement with richey years ago!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
awwwwwww. *overwhelmed*
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
have i upset you?
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
you have definetely NOT upset me.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I've never felt a connection with a girl as much as I have with you, my feelings for you are really intense and confusing, I just want to be around you all the time.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I do love Dan, i truly do, I just don't know in what way anymore. This is odd. But I am so happy that you've told me.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
im so pleased i havent upset you
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*huggles forever*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
i just dont want to mess things up... i want to be around you as well, which is whats so weird. because im a loner! (*hughughughugmwahmwahamwah*)
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
please come stay with me!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I will. I promise.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
As soon as I have a day off after Oxegen. I should be able to come up next week during the week.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
And we can go window shopping/drink/eat lollipops/chips. Whatever you want.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
drink just make sure to tell me if you need space or anything
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
lol i won't
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*mwahmwahmwahmwah* with lollies.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
perfect mwahs!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
wanna see my new hair?
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
YES!
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
im going to dye my hair
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ sends:
Transfer of "butterwouldntmelt.jpg" is complete.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
it's shorter.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*sigh* youre so gorgeous
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
awwww
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
no!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
am not
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
no, really
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
you are
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
god
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
really
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
beautiful
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*mwah*
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
isten,ive no credit but text me when you can come down okaY? i gotta run
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ sends:
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
this is funny
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
lol ok
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
will do i'll fone you.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*mwah*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
xxxxxx
Transfer of "fuck you too.jpg" is complete.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*mwah* youxxx
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
love you too.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
hahahaha awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
so cute!!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*mwah*
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
byeeeee xxxx
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
later
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
xxx
[ mood | confused ]
[ music | magic ]
Things are....... [Jul. 2nd, 2004|04:02 am]
...........so messed up. I've fucked up. Gah.
Right ok this scared the shit out of me, but when i woke her up and asked her about it she claims that it was just in life Uni and everything!
1am. My Sharonaaaaaaaa. [Jul. 2nd, 2004|12:57 am]
[ How Is Le Jamrag? | hopeful ]
[ in my eary-holes | The Knack - My Sharona. ]
Pretty average day. Work, downloading, walking, tescos. Cheap sausage rolls at the reduced counter. Yep yep yep.
Got all of 'Crash' downloaded, and had a great chat with my wifey, Cassie :)
I'll be going to see her after Oxegen....which David Bowie has pulled out of!!!! Which is sad, but at least the Cure will still be there, among others.
Anyway, My Sharona, Crash, and day in town tomorrow.
Wuv u.
x
She's still going to Cassie's, I think this is good, because she seems to like this distance thing, and hopefully she'll talk to Cassie about it all and maybe get it sorted if it isn't allready!
Another private entry. [Jun. 18th, 2004|09:29 am]
So, I've been awake for about 24 hours now, maybe more. Occasionally thinking about mark. trying to block out what is probably just a wee crush. A fantastic friendship is growing in all of this. Do i really want to ruin everything for something that could be nothing............ooooh total eclipse of the heart solo type synthy thing................
Telling Filby about it now.
Wonder what she'll have to say.
I can't help but think what if she didn't mind ruining everything over this little crush...along with all the songs etc this is very very confusing for me. I think I'm going to change a lot of my main passwords, I'm going to have my privacy. I'm going to wallow in it!
private entry.....*saddened* [Jun. 18th, 2004|12:09 am]
[ How Is Le Jamrag? | confused ]
[ in my eary-holes | Poison. Every Rose has It's Thorn. ]
i love dan. i really do. when i look at dan, i see years and years ahead. but sometimes, when i think of what i want to do with my life- his lack of gumption and enthusiasm regarding a career bothers me....just this 'book' he's going to write, so i try to encourage him. but it is so very hard.
but lately, its weird, actually fancying/lusting after/feeling a connection with another male type. i didn't want it to happen, and i'm sure/i hope it will go away...but right now its taking up residence in my stomach along with the ball of hate i so often rant about these days.
he's really nice this guy, just cheeky, honest, troubled, and the nicest eyes. not as pretty and big as dans, and i dare not get lost in them, just in case he realises what im thinking. But they flash at me, and they say to me "I understand you" Which is amazing, because not many people really truly get me. Dan loves me and accepts me, but I doubt he understands me. Not really.
Whitesnake is helping me at this moment..."like a drifter I was born to walk alone!!" ...i think i need to fuck off around the world for 6months after I graduate. Without anyone. Just to find out who I am. Dan would be upset. So would I. but I need it, a journey of self discovery or some shit. So I can come back ready to love him, or I dont know, to come back and be more wise. Kind of like my 'in-life coming of age movie' ......
Bottom line, I love Dan. This new thing is most likely infatuation. Just a nice warm feeling. So I hope can continue the friendship with this person without fucking up. I am 20 on MOnday after all. All grown up. Like fuck I am.
Don't want to be either....
"Every rose has its thorn.....just like every night has its dawn, just like every cowboy sings a sad sad song...every rose has its thorn."
After reading this all I can say is at least now I've got a job, and at least she still Loves me!
[Jun. 17th, 2004|03:13 am]
bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter bitter.....
About what? Well, maybe somebody out there knows because I have not got a fucking clue. Just have this huge not of it in my stomach. Should probably make this entry private uh? Will do. Typing to my self now, oh the joys of insanity.
Buh bye.
This I don't have a clue about!
So proper post now....The job's really cool, sleep patern's very slowly righting itself, just read a conversation between Christine and Cassie, so I'm going to copy and paste it into here then I'm going to wake her up and ask her about it!
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*mwah* wb
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*mwah mwah mwah*
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
i think you're amazing andi i wanna tell you a secret
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
ok, go.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
and you have to bear in mind that im drunk and bored and embarrassed and that it doesnt mean anything uncomfortbale i hope and that it just wont change the fact that we;re friends and i know you're in love with dan but christ you're the most amazing woman ive ever met and im not over you. I dont wanna fuck you up or upset or annoy you but im not and i still really really like you. vodka isnt alwa
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
ys a good idea, see?
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
u can tell me anything.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
i never stop thinking about you sweetie.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
and my emotions for dan, are completely different from the ones i feel for you.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
im not over you either.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
the problem is i think my emotions for you are the same as your emotions for dan... i thought i loved you and i still do
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
no but my emotions for you are....different in the same way, if you know what I mean.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
through the whole thing i just wanted you to be happy and i still do and if it werent for the vodka i would have shut up because i dont wanto complicate things for you in anyway but jesus, if you knew how amazing you are... ive never been more smitten.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*giddyish giggle and blush*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
lol...i know u might think I'm bullshitting, but I totally feel the same things. It is confusing, but what can I do?
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
its jsut the way it is.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
i know what you mean
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
i just wish i could see a solution
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I need your hugs now!!!!!
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
its diffuicult to believe you actually like me the same as i do but i want youto be okay either way and HEY! *HUUUUUUUUUUUGS*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
Me and Dan aren't together anyway because of my confusion. We're 'on a break'
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
awwwww.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
well i dont know exactly how you feeel, but I know my stomach goes funy when i see pictures of you, and Im always telling people how much I miss you.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
do you want to know how i feel?
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
You're drunk, you might regret telling me.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
... is that a no? '
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
lol, I dont know. I'd like to know, but I'd like to think you wouldn't regret telling me.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
If you think you won't regret it, then tell me.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
ive wanted to tel you since we became friends again, but at the same time.. if its going to upset you or anything then i wont say...
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I don't think it will upset me. It might make me go goofy and soppy. I don't know.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
It won't upset me though.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
well... i think youre stunning and beautiful, the most amazing woman ive ever met and ive never loved anyone or felt so close or attracted or attached or amazed or inspired by anyone in my life. I do love you, honestly and want you more than i can say. If it wasnt for dan i'd have
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
locked you in my basement with richey years ago!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
awwwwwww. *overwhelmed*
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
have i upset you?
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
you have definetely NOT upset me.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I've never felt a connection with a girl as much as I have with you, my feelings for you are really intense and confusing, I just want to be around you all the time.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I do love Dan, i truly do, I just don't know in what way anymore. This is odd. But I am so happy that you've told me.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
im so pleased i havent upset you
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*huggles forever*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
i just dont want to mess things up... i want to be around you as well, which is whats so weird. because im a loner! (*hughughughugmwahmwahamwah*)
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
please come stay with me!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
I will. I promise.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
As soon as I have a day off after Oxegen. I should be able to come up next week during the week.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
And we can go window shopping/drink/eat lollipops/chips. Whatever you want.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
drink just make sure to tell me if you need space or anything
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
lol i won't
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*mwahmwahmwahmwah* with lollies.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
perfect mwahs!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
wanna see my new hair?
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
YES!
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
im going to dye my hair
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ sends:
Transfer of "butterwouldntmelt.jpg" is complete.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
it's shorter.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*sigh* youre so gorgeous
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
awwww
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
no!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
am not
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
no, really
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
you are
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
god
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
really
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
beautiful
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*mwah*
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
isten,ive no credit but text me when you can come down okaY? i gotta run
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ sends:
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
this is funny
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
lol ok
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
will do i'll fone you.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*mwah*
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
xxxxxx
Transfer of "fuck you too.jpg" is complete.
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
*mwah* youxxx
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
love you too.
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
hahahaha awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
so cute!!
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
*mwah*
America I used to be a communist and I'M NOT SORRY says:
byeeeee xxxx
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
later
~rags to riches i made three wishes~ says:
xxx