emofest
hello friends and lovers!
yesterday was one of those days where i feel like a piece of crap. you know, you get all emotional, start thinking about things... get more emotional. thats how i was. i curled up on my bed and cried for like 30 minutes. it all started with chris and then snowballed into a huge emofest. i'm hardly ever serious or emotional, but sometimes i feel like i'm going to explode. it started with chris telling me he doesn't want to be my friend. seems simple enough, like i care, right? well, that made me spontaneously burst into tears because i thought he would always love me and i felt like no one in the world loves or cares about me as much as he does except my family. then i got to thinking that i am hopeless and alone and i will never have anyone care for me because no one does now, so how is that going to change? then i thought about the people who i love and how they are all so far away from me. my god, then here comes more water works... not only am i unloved and motherless for two months my dog that i have had since i was 7 has cancer and my parents keep pressure me to put in to sleep. i still cry about benji and he died 4 years ago. i can't take that again! to make matters worse i saw the damn ashlee simpson show and she was so freakin happy making out with her best friend and i almost crapped myself. wtf does she get to be happy for? ok, she may be slightly... ok, much better looking than me, but still. i can't believe how shallow the world is sometimes. i'm so far from a size 2 its not even funny. needless to say, i had a nice breakdown.
i think it helped though. i had such a great day today. maybe i should cry more often. jizzy and courtney said i was being mean, but i was having fun. the only person i said "i hate you" to was feifei and she so deserved it. and she knows i love her anyway! i wasn't really mean, i hope. all in good fun. crying and making fun of people really puts me in a good mood. is that wrong? wow, i just ate a whole big bowl of grapes. like GIANT bowl. i was reaching in for another and there's just no more grapes left. my... now i feel very... fruity? well, thats the story of my emotional breakdown. hope you all enjoyed it. i would highly recommend a breakdown to anyone! followed by taunting innocent bystanders. take care now! bye!
yesterday was one of those days where i feel like a piece of crap. you know, you get all emotional, start thinking about things... get more emotional. thats how i was. i curled up on my bed and cried for like 30 minutes. it all started with chris and then snowballed into a huge emofest. i'm hardly ever serious or emotional, but sometimes i feel like i'm going to explode. it started with chris telling me he doesn't want to be my friend. seems simple enough, like i care, right? well, that made me spontaneously burst into tears because i thought he would always love me and i felt like no one in the world loves or cares about me as much as he does except my family. then i got to thinking that i am hopeless and alone and i will never have anyone care for me because no one does now, so how is that going to change? then i thought about the people who i love and how they are all so far away from me. my god, then here comes more water works... not only am i unloved and motherless for two months my dog that i have had since i was 7 has cancer and my parents keep pressure me to put in to sleep. i still cry about benji and he died 4 years ago. i can't take that again! to make matters worse i saw the damn ashlee simpson show and she was so freakin happy making out with her best friend and i almost crapped myself. wtf does she get to be happy for? ok, she may be slightly... ok, much better looking than me, but still. i can't believe how shallow the world is sometimes. i'm so far from a size 2 its not even funny. needless to say, i had a nice breakdown.
i think it helped though. i had such a great day today. maybe i should cry more often. jizzy and courtney said i was being mean, but i was having fun. the only person i said "i hate you" to was feifei and she so deserved it. and she knows i love her anyway! i wasn't really mean, i hope. all in good fun. crying and making fun of people really puts me in a good mood. is that wrong? wow, i just ate a whole big bowl of grapes. like GIANT bowl. i was reaching in for another and there's just no more grapes left. my... now i feel very... fruity? well, thats the story of my emotional breakdown. hope you all enjoyed it. i would highly recommend a breakdown to anyone! followed by taunting innocent bystanders. take care now! bye!