News From the Great White North, Part 1
As most of you are aware, 55 of the last 60 weeks of my life has been as an expatriate. Most of this experience has been shaped almost entirely by my status and upbringing as a red-blooded American bad-ass. Well folks, said status has just been shaken a bit. That's right folks, Ned Petrie is now a Dualie.
Uh-huh, that's right, in the mail last week came my full fleged Canadian citizenship. Despite not living in this country for more than a few months, my mother's status as a Canadian makes all of her kids Canadians. All we had to do was send in a form with copies of our birth cirtificates and other important documents, and BAM! six weeks later comes a card calling me a Canadian entitled to all the rights laid out in the Canada Act of 1982. Who knew it was this easy? Personally, I find it a tad unfair that there are people who have lived in this country a hell of a lot longer than I have who have to live here YEARS to get full citizenship, and li'l ol' American Doofus here gets it by asking nicely. Eh well, no biggie. All this really means is that I can get Ontario health coverage, a job, and, best part, domestic fees.
One of the books I'm currently reading is 'Don't Get to Comfortable', Dave Rakoff's new collection of essays. The article, titled 'Love it or Leave It', covers the authors major transition from being a Canadian living in America, to a Canadian-American living in America. He fills out written and oral examinations, gets sworn in in a big ceremony, and goes through a series of complex emotions regarding the major steps he feels he is taking in terms of his identity. Let it be known that the experience the other way around is far less exciting. All I get is a lousy card with a horrible picture(you aren't allowed to smile for government photos in Canada, so you end up looking like a convict in a lineup of some kind for your passport) with a short paragraph on the reverse side listing my rights as a canadian. It doesn't even have an official seal or holigram on it. There was no sense of wonder, or excitement, or ambivelence, upon getting the card. No soul searching moments wondering who I am. Just a card...a flimsy, cheap looking card.
But a card that saves me thousands of dollars.
In other news,
Current Reads:
"Assassination Vacation"-Sarah Vowell. I really enjoyed this one. It recounts Vowell's road trip across america to learn about the places connected to the assassinations of presidents Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley. Written with Vowell's trademark witty and honest Historical Excercize/First Person Diary style, she delves into some of the greatest untold stories of Americas history. Highly recommended to anyone the least bit interested in the United States of America, because as we all know, history is what we are and will be.
"Don't Get Too Comfortable"-David Rakoff. A great collection of essays intelligently criticising America's vanity, greed, and vapidity. His humor falls right on that perfect edge where it is tough without being malevolent; with acidic wit while still oving the subjects he skewers. A great read by a great sarcastic, but sweet, storyteller.
"Innumerency: Mathematical Illiteracy and Its Consequences"-John Allen Paulos. You think you understand numbers and what they mean, but you have no idea until you read this book. When its not blowing your mind with what we are missing when we aren't looking closer into the meanings of statistical analysis, he's making you chuckle with his nerdiness and clever anecdotes.
Shows I like:
'Corner Gas'-This is a sitcom that is only shown in Canada, but I feel has the right qualities to make it understood by non-Canadians. It takes place in Saskatchewan, which for those you don't know, is basically the most middle of nowhere kind of place in the world. The way Southern Californians see the Midwest, is how the rest of Canada sees Saskatchewan, except that there really is pretty much nothing there. The show is the creation of Brent Butt, probably the only comic genius to come out of Saskatchewan, and follows the lives and times of a small group of town regulars in Dog River Saskatchewan; includung probably my favorite belligerent old man character in TV history.
'Degrassi'-I used to watch this show all the time on the N in the States, but stopped when we stopped subscribing to Digital Cable. Well up here, its on network TV, and it's crazier than ever. For those that don't know it, Degrassi is the most fudged up middle/high school in the history of the world. There seems to be no limit of highly improbable, absolutely insane, yet always dramatic sets of issues that the small school community of Degrassi has not faced. Despite only following the lives of 15 or so key characters, we have watched them go through the following: date rape, abusive parents, sexual identity issues, online abuse, bulemia (by a 14 year old Jewish boy, no less), pretty much everyone's mom or dad is either dead or an alchoholic, cancer, and, with what is maybe the most nuts plotline ever, bullies who bully a kid so far that he comes back and shoots one of them and himself, leaving the bully paralyzed, the other bully expelled, and a third bully tries to burn the school down (this was all one episode). Well, the same old crap is still going on at Degrassi this year, except now everyone seems to be having a lot more sex than before (Liberty is even pregnant). (Side note for people who watch the series: remember when all the actors were ugly little kids, now look at 'em, they are all certifiable hotties.. who saw this coming?!)
'Last Call with Carson Daly'-As much as it shames me to say so, this show does not suck. Despite having no budget or time, Carson books some great guests and is surprisingly able as a host. I don't know what happened. As recently as a year ago, this show sucked mostly due to Carson being the same tool he was on MTV, and then POW a year later he is an apt interviewer and monologuer. Its safe to say, that despite having no writing staff or money, I'd rather watch Carson Daly than Jay Leno.
Uh-huh, that's right, in the mail last week came my full fleged Canadian citizenship. Despite not living in this country for more than a few months, my mother's status as a Canadian makes all of her kids Canadians. All we had to do was send in a form with copies of our birth cirtificates and other important documents, and BAM! six weeks later comes a card calling me a Canadian entitled to all the rights laid out in the Canada Act of 1982. Who knew it was this easy? Personally, I find it a tad unfair that there are people who have lived in this country a hell of a lot longer than I have who have to live here YEARS to get full citizenship, and li'l ol' American Doofus here gets it by asking nicely. Eh well, no biggie. All this really means is that I can get Ontario health coverage, a job, and, best part, domestic fees.
One of the books I'm currently reading is 'Don't Get to Comfortable', Dave Rakoff's new collection of essays. The article, titled 'Love it or Leave It', covers the authors major transition from being a Canadian living in America, to a Canadian-American living in America. He fills out written and oral examinations, gets sworn in in a big ceremony, and goes through a series of complex emotions regarding the major steps he feels he is taking in terms of his identity. Let it be known that the experience the other way around is far less exciting. All I get is a lousy card with a horrible picture(you aren't allowed to smile for government photos in Canada, so you end up looking like a convict in a lineup of some kind for your passport) with a short paragraph on the reverse side listing my rights as a canadian. It doesn't even have an official seal or holigram on it. There was no sense of wonder, or excitement, or ambivelence, upon getting the card. No soul searching moments wondering who I am. Just a card...a flimsy, cheap looking card.
But a card that saves me thousands of dollars.
In other news,
Current Reads:
"Assassination Vacation"-Sarah Vowell. I really enjoyed this one. It recounts Vowell's road trip across america to learn about the places connected to the assassinations of presidents Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley. Written with Vowell's trademark witty and honest Historical Excercize/First Person Diary style, she delves into some of the greatest untold stories of Americas history. Highly recommended to anyone the least bit interested in the United States of America, because as we all know, history is what we are and will be.
"Don't Get Too Comfortable"-David Rakoff. A great collection of essays intelligently criticising America's vanity, greed, and vapidity. His humor falls right on that perfect edge where it is tough without being malevolent; with acidic wit while still oving the subjects he skewers. A great read by a great sarcastic, but sweet, storyteller.
"Innumerency: Mathematical Illiteracy and Its Consequences"-John Allen Paulos. You think you understand numbers and what they mean, but you have no idea until you read this book. When its not blowing your mind with what we are missing when we aren't looking closer into the meanings of statistical analysis, he's making you chuckle with his nerdiness and clever anecdotes.
Shows I like:
'Corner Gas'-This is a sitcom that is only shown in Canada, but I feel has the right qualities to make it understood by non-Canadians. It takes place in Saskatchewan, which for those you don't know, is basically the most middle of nowhere kind of place in the world. The way Southern Californians see the Midwest, is how the rest of Canada sees Saskatchewan, except that there really is pretty much nothing there. The show is the creation of Brent Butt, probably the only comic genius to come out of Saskatchewan, and follows the lives and times of a small group of town regulars in Dog River Saskatchewan; includung probably my favorite belligerent old man character in TV history.
'Degrassi'-I used to watch this show all the time on the N in the States, but stopped when we stopped subscribing to Digital Cable. Well up here, its on network TV, and it's crazier than ever. For those that don't know it, Degrassi is the most fudged up middle/high school in the history of the world. There seems to be no limit of highly improbable, absolutely insane, yet always dramatic sets of issues that the small school community of Degrassi has not faced. Despite only following the lives of 15 or so key characters, we have watched them go through the following: date rape, abusive parents, sexual identity issues, online abuse, bulemia (by a 14 year old Jewish boy, no less), pretty much everyone's mom or dad is either dead or an alchoholic, cancer, and, with what is maybe the most nuts plotline ever, bullies who bully a kid so far that he comes back and shoots one of them and himself, leaving the bully paralyzed, the other bully expelled, and a third bully tries to burn the school down (this was all one episode). Well, the same old crap is still going on at Degrassi this year, except now everyone seems to be having a lot more sex than before (Liberty is even pregnant). (Side note for people who watch the series: remember when all the actors were ugly little kids, now look at 'em, they are all certifiable hotties.. who saw this coming?!)
'Last Call with Carson Daly'-As much as it shames me to say so, this show does not suck. Despite having no budget or time, Carson books some great guests and is surprisingly able as a host. I don't know what happened. As recently as a year ago, this show sucked mostly due to Carson being the same tool he was on MTV, and then POW a year later he is an apt interviewer and monologuer. Its safe to say, that despite having no writing staff or money, I'd rather watch Carson Daly than Jay Leno.