Truth.
From time to time I really miss Sean. Its just the little things though. Like last Wednesday Brook was telling me that she stayed at her friend Josh's house and they were laying there, half asleep listening to the radio. She said this song she loved came on and she made him get up and dance with her in the dark. The whole time she was telling me this story it made me sick. She couldnt remember how it went or what it was called. She knew it was something about money. Its like I knew what song it was when she opened her mouth for the first word of the story. It was a song that Sean used to write the lyrics of in letters to me. I just about cried.
Then yesterday Steph and I were on our way to grand prairie and we say a military funeral and that made me miss him. Shes like call him, call him. I said no and then eventually gave in. no answer. Hasnt called back. But in all honesty I dont want him to call back. Our conversations are filled with awkward silence and im sure lies. But I have been brutally honest with him. Maybe I should stop.
But the point of this is that I dont miss him as a person or as a boyfriend. I just misss the innocent little gestures of him. Everytime a memory is triggered I want him back. Then reality steps in and I am very happy where I am now. No one to hold me back, or tell me what to do. No secrets, no lies, nothing. It is the best feeling in the world to be free at this very point in my life. I have met so many cool people and I bet you the amount of friends I have has doubled.
K- now to the boring stuff. I start my new job at Famous Daves. Im sure all will go well. Its a little weird that they are starting me @5 on a friday night. hmmm.
well im done typing for today.
Peace, love, hair grease.
Then yesterday Steph and I were on our way to grand prairie and we say a military funeral and that made me miss him. Shes like call him, call him. I said no and then eventually gave in. no answer. Hasnt called back. But in all honesty I dont want him to call back. Our conversations are filled with awkward silence and im sure lies. But I have been brutally honest with him. Maybe I should stop.
But the point of this is that I dont miss him as a person or as a boyfriend. I just misss the innocent little gestures of him. Everytime a memory is triggered I want him back. Then reality steps in and I am very happy where I am now. No one to hold me back, or tell me what to do. No secrets, no lies, nothing. It is the best feeling in the world to be free at this very point in my life. I have met so many cool people and I bet you the amount of friends I have has doubled.
K- now to the boring stuff. I start my new job at Famous Daves. Im sure all will go well. Its a little weird that they are starting me @5 on a friday night. hmmm.
well im done typing for today.
Peace, love, hair grease.