Life is...
Heh... I was speaking with a friend and he expressed to me the sadness that he currently lives with. This friend is a nice guy. Looking at him you wouldn't notice anything special, just a guy. I look at him and see something of a late bloomer. He does alot to catch up on what he feels he missed out on and perhaps its tainted his view of the world. I'm not sure why he let so many everyday things pass him by but he did. Life is such a funny thing.
Sadness, he's just so sad these days. That song by Smokey Robinson comes to mind, "Tears of a Clown" I think it is. He is seeing this girl and is deeply in love. Yet he can't share all of himself with her. Certain parts are just too much for her to take. He has tried. At least he told me he has. I honestly don't know if he truly knows himself. Anyway, his girl won't let him be himself, which for as long as I've known him has been one of the big things hes really wanted from a relationship. Sure he loves the sex. According to him its the best he's ever had. But that along with a deep love, well it doesn't seem to be enough.
She has problems with certain things that he does and is forcing him to make a choice between the two. He tells me its not a problem of making the choice if he thought that would make a difference or if it was really the problem. He simply knows and has listed for me several other things that she finds difficult to "relax" with. He says that it would only be a matter of time, and a short one at that, before she would find fault with something else. You see she wants to be the only one in his heart. From talking to him, I can say that she really is. However, no matter how much he tells her or talks to her she won't believe it. I've given him ideas and told him to buy flowers. She still can't allow herself to believe that she is the one and only. I know he truly loves her. Yet on this matter he is truly lost.
Finally, he has spoken to me about truly opening ones self to a significant other. I mean I could only tell my friend that some don't have a "dark side" and I guess they can't understand being a little different. I reminded him that one person's "dark side" is anothers everyday thing. However, he is deeply hurt by her refusal to embrace all that he is. After all she knew these facts about him before they moved in together. He made sure everything was on the up and up. However, he is now accused of finding other women to be more beautiful. He is accused of not wanting to have sex with her. I've been over there. I know what he says is true. Aren't we supposed to be open fully with our partners? Does it mean he's not compatible with her? How long and hard should he try to stay with her? Should he hide part of himself from her? I recently read this in another's journal, which really sparked this post. I forgot who's journal i was reading but if its yours, then thank you. The person said... "I wanted to let myself be myself...". How many of us can actually do that with the person they are with? I myself love porn and my girl hates it. I enjoy a bit of solo time but its never at the expense of our time. I usually enjoy it while she is at work. More tension relief than anything. Is that wrong?
Anyway, for me friend I let him know that I, personally, didn't think there was anything wrong. I let him know that if he truely loved her the way I believed he did he should hold on for as long as possible. I pray for the both of them. Maybe not as often as I should but I do pray. Some of you don't have a "dark side" but I know I do. No one should have to hide any part of themselves from someone they love. I just think they should be able to fart and burp and do whatever. Show me your worst and let me decide if I like it or not. Thats what I always say.
I don't know how he'll handle his relationship problems but I wish him the best. Those of you who do believe, say a prayer. Those that don't, maybe think a kind thought his way.
Sadness, he's just so sad these days. That song by Smokey Robinson comes to mind, "Tears of a Clown" I think it is. He is seeing this girl and is deeply in love. Yet he can't share all of himself with her. Certain parts are just too much for her to take. He has tried. At least he told me he has. I honestly don't know if he truly knows himself. Anyway, his girl won't let him be himself, which for as long as I've known him has been one of the big things hes really wanted from a relationship. Sure he loves the sex. According to him its the best he's ever had. But that along with a deep love, well it doesn't seem to be enough.
She has problems with certain things that he does and is forcing him to make a choice between the two. He tells me its not a problem of making the choice if he thought that would make a difference or if it was really the problem. He simply knows and has listed for me several other things that she finds difficult to "relax" with. He says that it would only be a matter of time, and a short one at that, before she would find fault with something else. You see she wants to be the only one in his heart. From talking to him, I can say that she really is. However, no matter how much he tells her or talks to her she won't believe it. I've given him ideas and told him to buy flowers. She still can't allow herself to believe that she is the one and only. I know he truly loves her. Yet on this matter he is truly lost.
Finally, he has spoken to me about truly opening ones self to a significant other. I mean I could only tell my friend that some don't have a "dark side" and I guess they can't understand being a little different. I reminded him that one person's "dark side" is anothers everyday thing. However, he is deeply hurt by her refusal to embrace all that he is. After all she knew these facts about him before they moved in together. He made sure everything was on the up and up. However, he is now accused of finding other women to be more beautiful. He is accused of not wanting to have sex with her. I've been over there. I know what he says is true. Aren't we supposed to be open fully with our partners? Does it mean he's not compatible with her? How long and hard should he try to stay with her? Should he hide part of himself from her? I recently read this in another's journal, which really sparked this post. I forgot who's journal i was reading but if its yours, then thank you. The person said... "I wanted to let myself be myself...". How many of us can actually do that with the person they are with? I myself love porn and my girl hates it. I enjoy a bit of solo time but its never at the expense of our time. I usually enjoy it while she is at work. More tension relief than anything. Is that wrong?
Anyway, for me friend I let him know that I, personally, didn't think there was anything wrong. I let him know that if he truely loved her the way I believed he did he should hold on for as long as possible. I pray for the both of them. Maybe not as often as I should but I do pray. Some of you don't have a "dark side" but I know I do. No one should have to hide any part of themselves from someone they love. I just think they should be able to fart and burp and do whatever. Show me your worst and let me decide if I like it or not. Thats what I always say.
I don't know how he'll handle his relationship problems but I wish him the best. Those of you who do believe, say a prayer. Those that don't, maybe think a kind thought his way.