Introspection
Today was boring. And excuse me for doing this, but this will at least start out as a crappy boring, this is what happened today entry, for i haven't composed my thoughts yet. I felt like I needed to talk to someone and noone is on.
Woke up at 630 to take medicine, then woke up again at 1030 for brunch. Which here at Ursinus means that everything is the same as the average lunch except that the main course area, which normally consists of hamburgers, tacos, etc. now consists of the breakfast main course, which is ALWAYS pancakes and french toast (sticks on occasion).
Went back to my room and played some Tony Hawk Underground, because I, like the idiot that I am, accidentally saved a new carrer over the one I was so freaking close to finishing 100% it's not even funny. I was at like 98% or something like that. So now I have to beat everything that I beat on Normal mode over again on Sick mode, becaue that's what I was starting to do when I accidentally saved over it.
Went and got my Latin textbook, since the originally one never came in. So we got a new one now. Only $20, which is cheap for a textbook. I've known novels to cost more.
Did stuff on my computer, some homework, did nothing.
Ate dinner.
Sat around playing Knights of the Old Republic on my roommate's Xbox since he's away for the weekend.
Went back to playing Tony Hawk.
Typing this now.
Okay, that's it for the incredibly boring sketch of my day. Like you actually cared. I know I don't.
Realizations? Yeah, at least one. I still really haven't found many friends here. As much as I can consider that I do, I really don't. I mean, I'm friends with my roommate, and I'm friends with the guy neighbors across the hall and to the right. I'm on the end of the building, which means no neighbors to left, and next to stairs, which means none to the right. Across the hall are two girls, who I actually don't know all that well. Why? Because they don't seem to care to much to talk to me. They're really clique-y with this one guy down the hall, which is probably due to something along the lines they knew each other before hand. One of them is actually pretty hot to my tastes, but acts and sounds bitchy, and the other one just acts stuck up and not worth knowing.
So yeah, as far as neighbors go, I don't have many. And as far as in-class, we haven't done much that really helps each other to get to know each other, for example, I only know one person's name in my eng comp class, and that's only because he's also in my latin class AND lives down the hall from me.
I miss the days when you don't have to actively make friends. I wish that there was an easier way to do so, but not much seems to be working. I take random walks to see what people are doing, but they're doing either stuff I dont care to or the same thing as me: nothing. I mean, last night I went to the game night, but most of the people there who were playing were RAs anyway. There was this one weird kid who brought these obscure card games and that's all he wanted to play. One of the freshmen who were there had a voice like that guy who noone really knows his name, but he kind of reminds me of French Stuart and acts in comedies with stupid things. I think he was in the movie Rocketman, about a Mars mission or something. (does a quick search...aha!) Harland Williams. That's it. I guess I recognize him from Down Periscope more than anything.
I have a feeling that this might be a long one. Many because I'm bored and also not feeling all too well. Health, I'm fine. I mean depression and loneliness.
Oh yeah, my roommate left for the weekend, along with one of friends, the other one was actually doing work today.
Now, I know what some people (coughjbuttcough)have already thought about my unintended isolation. I know that at least he's thinking that this actually relates to my whole issue with mel. Personally, I don't think so. I think that has absolutely nothing to do with it. I just don't have the charisma to do stuff like going up to a table and sitting with someone new everyday at mealtime and join in on their conversations. Heck, I don't even join in the conversations with the people I do sit with once in a while.
There hasn't been much of a point in this update. Or maybe there has? Actually, if there was a point it would be my loneliness. Which doesn't relate to mel at all. Odd, huh? A post that (while mentioning her name twice) has absolutely nothing about her.
I mean, what should I do? I can't just make friends. It's not that easy. I'd love to say give it time, but what do I do in the mean time? Is that the correct spelling for 'mean time'? I get this vision of one of those wind up alarm clocks with two bells on the top with a face made out of the hands that's angry looking with the phrase 'mean time'. that or i think of Grenwich mean time.
Actually, I'm kind of waiting for Futurama to come on Adult Swim. That's at 11:30. A quick time check shows it to be 11:16. So now you know how long I've been writing. (For the slower of you, look at the time posted, and figure the difference between that and 11:16.) Though allow a couple minutes for a quick bathroom run. So like 3 minutes less. And a quick check to the starting time says 1035. wow. Then I would've typed for almost an hour after this is done.
If anyone reads all this, congratulations. I wonder if there's some kind of character limitation. I'm sure I've exceeded it. I know in the News feed for Dave Barry's columns, the comments are restricted to a certain length so that most columns have to be spread between two posts, normally a long one and a short one.
That was pointless.
It's now 11:20. Ten more minutes.
Wonderboy. What is the secret of your powers. Wonderboy. Wont you take me far away from that mucky-muck. Now.
Yeah, more song quotes. Only relevance now was because that's the song I was listening to right now. I want that CD, the songs I have heard are really good, with or without the blatant profanity. (Come on, one of the songs is titled 'Fuck her gently' for christ's sake)
Speaking of religion, it was odd in my CIE (liberal studies) class. We're reading Genesis (yeah, the first book in the Bible, but separate in a book thicker than any Bible I've ever seen. (there's a whole lot of footnotes.)) And just to get an idea, the prof had us each explain our religion. A surprising amount were either Catholic or of Catholic families, a couple generic protestents, an asian jehovah's witness that I wanted to strangle for her blind faith before I new what she was, the prof who is jewish, and myself, an atheist. The hard part is that i'm more anti-religion, which could be considered more agnostic, but I think people mistake agnosticism a lot of the time for beleiving in something, but not sure what that something is.
and it's not like I'm a punk, anti-establishment, 'let's take down the man for taking us down.' kind of guy. Anyone reading this knows that. I just think that religion is the foundation of so many preconceived notions and prejudices in the world and in history that I think society should take a step back and realize that. Sure, religion gives the average follower something to believe in when the going gets tough.
And it's an episode I already saw. The one where Fry goes to a robot insane asylum. Eh, I'll watch anyway.
Commericial. As I was saying. Faith is okay, but not when what gives it gives an excuse to conservative politicians an arguement against issues that shouldn't be questioned like homosexuality and genetic research.
IT's over. I like how in a half hour I wrote almost nothing. But in the hour-ish before I wrote A whole crapload. OH well. Haha. Funny Family guy commercial. Oh well. comment so I know you actually read all of this. bye.
Woke up at 630 to take medicine, then woke up again at 1030 for brunch. Which here at Ursinus means that everything is the same as the average lunch except that the main course area, which normally consists of hamburgers, tacos, etc. now consists of the breakfast main course, which is ALWAYS pancakes and french toast (sticks on occasion).
Went back to my room and played some Tony Hawk Underground, because I, like the idiot that I am, accidentally saved a new carrer over the one I was so freaking close to finishing 100% it's not even funny. I was at like 98% or something like that. So now I have to beat everything that I beat on Normal mode over again on Sick mode, becaue that's what I was starting to do when I accidentally saved over it.
Went and got my Latin textbook, since the originally one never came in. So we got a new one now. Only $20, which is cheap for a textbook. I've known novels to cost more.
Did stuff on my computer, some homework, did nothing.
Ate dinner.
Sat around playing Knights of the Old Republic on my roommate's Xbox since he's away for the weekend.
Went back to playing Tony Hawk.
Typing this now.
Okay, that's it for the incredibly boring sketch of my day. Like you actually cared. I know I don't.
Realizations? Yeah, at least one. I still really haven't found many friends here. As much as I can consider that I do, I really don't. I mean, I'm friends with my roommate, and I'm friends with the guy neighbors across the hall and to the right. I'm on the end of the building, which means no neighbors to left, and next to stairs, which means none to the right. Across the hall are two girls, who I actually don't know all that well. Why? Because they don't seem to care to much to talk to me. They're really clique-y with this one guy down the hall, which is probably due to something along the lines they knew each other before hand. One of them is actually pretty hot to my tastes, but acts and sounds bitchy, and the other one just acts stuck up and not worth knowing.
So yeah, as far as neighbors go, I don't have many. And as far as in-class, we haven't done much that really helps each other to get to know each other, for example, I only know one person's name in my eng comp class, and that's only because he's also in my latin class AND lives down the hall from me.
I miss the days when you don't have to actively make friends. I wish that there was an easier way to do so, but not much seems to be working. I take random walks to see what people are doing, but they're doing either stuff I dont care to or the same thing as me: nothing. I mean, last night I went to the game night, but most of the people there who were playing were RAs anyway. There was this one weird kid who brought these obscure card games and that's all he wanted to play. One of the freshmen who were there had a voice like that guy who noone really knows his name, but he kind of reminds me of French Stuart and acts in comedies with stupid things. I think he was in the movie Rocketman, about a Mars mission or something. (does a quick search...aha!) Harland Williams. That's it. I guess I recognize him from Down Periscope more than anything.
I have a feeling that this might be a long one. Many because I'm bored and also not feeling all too well. Health, I'm fine. I mean depression and loneliness.
Oh yeah, my roommate left for the weekend, along with one of friends, the other one was actually doing work today.
Now, I know what some people (coughjbuttcough)have already thought about my unintended isolation. I know that at least he's thinking that this actually relates to my whole issue with mel. Personally, I don't think so. I think that has absolutely nothing to do with it. I just don't have the charisma to do stuff like going up to a table and sitting with someone new everyday at mealtime and join in on their conversations. Heck, I don't even join in the conversations with the people I do sit with once in a while.
There hasn't been much of a point in this update. Or maybe there has? Actually, if there was a point it would be my loneliness. Which doesn't relate to mel at all. Odd, huh? A post that (while mentioning her name twice) has absolutely nothing about her.
I mean, what should I do? I can't just make friends. It's not that easy. I'd love to say give it time, but what do I do in the mean time? Is that the correct spelling for 'mean time'? I get this vision of one of those wind up alarm clocks with two bells on the top with a face made out of the hands that's angry looking with the phrase 'mean time'. that or i think of Grenwich mean time.
Actually, I'm kind of waiting for Futurama to come on Adult Swim. That's at 11:30. A quick time check shows it to be 11:16. So now you know how long I've been writing. (For the slower of you, look at the time posted, and figure the difference between that and 11:16.) Though allow a couple minutes for a quick bathroom run. So like 3 minutes less. And a quick check to the starting time says 1035. wow. Then I would've typed for almost an hour after this is done.
If anyone reads all this, congratulations. I wonder if there's some kind of character limitation. I'm sure I've exceeded it. I know in the News feed for Dave Barry's columns, the comments are restricted to a certain length so that most columns have to be spread between two posts, normally a long one and a short one.
That was pointless.
It's now 11:20. Ten more minutes.
Wonderboy. What is the secret of your powers. Wonderboy. Wont you take me far away from that mucky-muck. Now.
Yeah, more song quotes. Only relevance now was because that's the song I was listening to right now. I want that CD, the songs I have heard are really good, with or without the blatant profanity. (Come on, one of the songs is titled 'Fuck her gently' for christ's sake)
Speaking of religion, it was odd in my CIE (liberal studies) class. We're reading Genesis (yeah, the first book in the Bible, but separate in a book thicker than any Bible I've ever seen. (there's a whole lot of footnotes.)) And just to get an idea, the prof had us each explain our religion. A surprising amount were either Catholic or of Catholic families, a couple generic protestents, an asian jehovah's witness that I wanted to strangle for her blind faith before I new what she was, the prof who is jewish, and myself, an atheist. The hard part is that i'm more anti-religion, which could be considered more agnostic, but I think people mistake agnosticism a lot of the time for beleiving in something, but not sure what that something is.
and it's not like I'm a punk, anti-establishment, 'let's take down the man for taking us down.' kind of guy. Anyone reading this knows that. I just think that religion is the foundation of so many preconceived notions and prejudices in the world and in history that I think society should take a step back and realize that. Sure, religion gives the average follower something to believe in when the going gets tough.
And it's an episode I already saw. The one where Fry goes to a robot insane asylum. Eh, I'll watch anyway.
Commericial. As I was saying. Faith is okay, but not when what gives it gives an excuse to conservative politicians an arguement against issues that shouldn't be questioned like homosexuality and genetic research.
IT's over. I like how in a half hour I wrote almost nothing. But in the hour-ish before I wrote A whole crapload. OH well. Haha. Funny Family guy commercial. Oh well. comment so I know you actually read all of this. bye.