Time goes by
This month, last month... this whole year has gone by so quickly. So much has happened in such a sort amount of time. You know, I'll be 21 in exactly two months tomorrow? Time do fly.
Yesterday hit me kind of hard. Father's Day always does. I tried calling my father several times, but we kept missing each other and played a few hours of phone tag. If I may be overly poignant for a moment, that sums up the majority of our relationship. Almost, but not quite, connecting. I love my father very much, but I was almost relieved when he didn't pick up his cell phone.
All my life he's been my hero, and I guess I'm still a little intimidated and in awe. I'd rather watch from a distance and remember him as he was in my little girl memory than face the adult reality of what he is today. Not that he's an awful man, but he's not the martyr I imagined him in childhood. A part of me is scared to lose that solid, strong part of my life.
I guess that makes me weak, but I see so much of his influence and personality in my character. And that makes me happy, because there is such a large part of him that will always be with me.
Yesterday hit me kind of hard. Father's Day always does. I tried calling my father several times, but we kept missing each other and played a few hours of phone tag. If I may be overly poignant for a moment, that sums up the majority of our relationship. Almost, but not quite, connecting. I love my father very much, but I was almost relieved when he didn't pick up his cell phone.
All my life he's been my hero, and I guess I'm still a little intimidated and in awe. I'd rather watch from a distance and remember him as he was in my little girl memory than face the adult reality of what he is today. Not that he's an awful man, but he's not the martyr I imagined him in childhood. A part of me is scared to lose that solid, strong part of my life.
I guess that makes me weak, but I see so much of his influence and personality in my character. And that makes me happy, because there is such a large part of him that will always be with me.