Prison Break 3x01 - Orientacion Review
So after 3 months of waiting patiently, 1 month of vibrating in my seat, 2 weeks of wangsting over a certain casting spoiler and 1 week of forced excitement, the Prison Break Season 3 premiere is finally here. I have to be honest, I was looking forward to Season 3 but now I'm not too thrilled. Oh well. I put on my happy face, told my heart to stop palpitating and chugged down some more pina colada. Make me hate you, show please
Apart from the bile that bubbled it's way up my esophagus at every mention of Sara and the trauma of seeing Bellick in his tighty whities with a pair of Explorer socks shoved down the front, it was quite a satisfying viewing experience. Kind of. I may or may not have started misting up a bit at certain points but you can't prove it. I may or may not have put my fist in my mouth and moaned a few times but you can't prove that, either. Overall it wasn't the spectacular visual experience I was expecting, but the show has changed and in my opinion it may not be for the better. Because I'm one of those annoying people who watch the show only for Michael/Sara I'm not sure if the show can keep my brain entertained for the duration of the season, but only time will tell. Judging by the premiere ratings I'm not sure it will get the chance.
Did the Sarah double sitting in the corner freak anyone else out? Her wig is creepy as hell. She reminds me of Samara from The Ring. I was waiting for her to climb out of the blackberry and suck Michael's face off (Hrm. That sounds familiar). I don't know how I'm going to take the 3x03 phone call without cowering in fear if she looks like a Jim Henson creation. I'd actually be less disturbed if she resembled a tickle me Elmo.
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Orientacion Pic!Spam
Disclaimer: Lots of sarcasm ahead. Please don't cry about it.
The shot of Susan in her panties undies was kind of unnecessary, no? I have a feeling this season will be full of random boobies to make up for the severe lack of them in previous seasons (Except Sara getting out from under the bed in 2x19. Because, damn. Wasn't that an eyeful). After seeing an interview with Jodi Lynn O'Keefe I really thought I'd warm to Susan when I saw her on screen but she didn't really move my furniture. The scratches on her face were a nice touch. When she said 'You push anything too far into a corner and the claws will come out' I had an awesome mental image of Sara hurtling at her head like a flying squirrel with her claws poised mid air ready to gouge her eyes out. The show will probably wreck my fun in the future though and reveal that it was Jane that did it. But that would be just typical of this show to ruin fun, wouldn't it.
They killed the hot guy? Why couldn't they kill the vest wearing weird haired one? Michael is just as shocked at the writers decision as I was. Doesn't take much to shock our boy these days though. The lighting in this scene is beautiful. I really wish they'd keep with the blue/green tint throughout the season but alas, it wasn't to be. The fight scene was pretty much made of awesome (How good was that over the shoulder star fish fling? That guy got pwned!) but could have done without the neck breaking sound effects k thx. My imagination was replacing the mud they were frolicking flinging around in with jell-o, which was odd but I couldn't control it. Judging by the look on Mike's face I have a feeling he might have been doing the same thing. Possibly. Probably not.
Opening titles. NO SARAH. Am I the only one who doesn't like the new credits? The music is a little too funky and I'm just not feeling the colours. Speaking of colours, what is with the ad break flashes? They're a little gay pride for my tastes. I know we're in Panama now but we're not exactly in paradise here kids. Lay off the LSD. Couldn't they have just stuck with the black and white? Aside from all this unnecessary nitpicking, there are some tasty Went pictures, especially the one at the end. This season feels like a completely different show to me and I'm not sure if it's winning me over. I have no doubt if they had Michael take his shirt off just once it would all come back to me rather quickly though.
Why didn't he wake up with a crick neck? Do good looking people not get them? Mike gets a visit from brother dear which gives birth to smile number one of the season. "Gonna break me out of here?" "LOL, no" Nice. Loved the joke about the cowboy boots, Linc totally should of taken a dig at Michael's questionable clothing choices last season. Right back at you brother. Let me know when corduroy pants are back in style will you.
Michael is all 'Zomg, Sara' and Lincoln looks confused. I'm assuming this will be the norm for the rest of the season. I really wish the transfer could happen and Michael could spend a little more time cracking a smile instead of moping around until the network cancels his show. Michael having a whinge about Sara made my heart constrict the first 27 times I saw it but because of the PB minus Sara situation every time Sara is spoken of I have the uncontrollable urge to yell 'That bitch ain't coming back!' at the screen. Bitter much? The singular tear Michael squeezed out was touching though. He's an emotional little thing isn't he. Bless.
How do we feel about McGrady? He's like a Tweener clone with better hair. Michael doesn't seem to get along with kids very well, they always annoy him when he's PO'ed and he usually tells them to F'Off. Speaking of annoying, Lechero has fallen into that category and landed flat on his face. I think it has much to do with the actor as it does the character. I should really give him a chance but I'm not going to. It was probably his unattractive side profile that irked me the most. Almost duck like. I had a traumatic run in with a duck when I was 5 so that probably explains it.
Hit me with a Samboy chip! This scene is by far one of my favourite of the episode. Only because we get to see pretty at his pouting stoic best. Michael seems to be jaw clenching a lot more this season (Yes. I'm keeping a tally) which makes my ovaries squirm with joy. The chicken foot was nasty and so was the guy pissing himself but there are always ways to make the situation comical. So Lechero feels threatened by Michael? Because he's better looking than him? Dude, didn't you get the memo, he is.
Michael sits and harns over Sara while clutching a paper crane. Flashbacks included. The porn kind. The best kind. If they kill Sara off this boy is going to flip his shit, seriously. The sadistic side of me is looking forward to the flipping of the shit actually as I eat angst for breakfast. With my weet bix. Angst is like splenda, a tasty alternative. Except unlike Splenda this alternative does give you high blood pressure and will most likely kill me by the time I'm 25. Good to know. All these Michael/Sara wangsting scenes didn't sting as much as I expected but I honestly hope they don't keep them up. It just keeps reminding me of the happy ending we're simply not going to see. Although if in the future a heavy angst scene includes Michael rocking in a corner while rending his garments, I'm all for it.
Dang, how sweaty was that bloke Michael went to have a chat to? He could tow a desalination plant behind him and provide fresh water to 3rd world countries for at least a month. His teeth were terrible too! He could have just chomped through the bars with a set like that. The 'This conversation is over' line had strange physical effects on me that I probably shouldn't type out.
I don't know why but I really liked the guy who wouldn't give Bellick and Sapo any food. His smarmy smile made me want to glomp him. Even if he did remind me of carnie folk. Urgh, cabbage. The chicken bone was nasty too. Where do they get all this food from? I highly doubt the army chucks fresh chickens over the fence so they can have their Sunday roast. I'm not feeling at all sorry for Bellick, I seem to be in the minority here. He deserves all he gets. Although I am fretting about his mother, which is beyond weird. Back on the steps, Michael is frowning and harning while molesting his paper bird. Pornish thoughts of Sara probably included. T-Bag walks up and informs pretty he's socially retarded. Michael looks conflicted and then proves T-Bags point by telling him to mush and STFU.
I kind of laughed when Sapo (Who was so not good looking enough to survive on this show) tried to haul ass out of there and ended up being shot 147 times by AK47's. Only there wasn't any gunshot wounds or blood. WTF show, seriously? Couldn't they have just splashed on some tomato sauce for effect? Michael takes it personally, like he always does and goes to do what he does best; cry against a wall and sigh dramatically. But there was a jaw clench so it satisfied me to no end.
This is probably very weird but when I saw the dead body in the morgue I immediately thought 'That can't be Sara, their boobs are far too big'. Oh subconscious, sometimes you scare my conscious train of thought. Because I'd spent the previous 2 minutes disregarding all the spoilers that indicated that she couldn't possibly be dead yet I was convinced that she was. Cue bile. But then show informed me that it wasn't her and I yelled at my computer screen in a bitter rage joy. Thankyou baby Jesus. Meanwhile in Sona, Michael is getting all up in Lechero's face and being a smarmy shit. Lechero should have just punched him, which would have been more realistic and funny.
Odd Michael/Mahone bonding. Smile #2. Who thinks Michael and Mahone are going to become BFF by the end of the season? Not me. But I wouldn't be surprised if they chuck in a make out scene in there somewhere. Because Mike is such a sissy bitch when it comes to fighting, Mahone feels the urge to give him some pointers. Go for the kneecap! I guess going for the groin is a little too 9pm time slot eh. Sarcasm aside, this is a great scene and I am looking forward to future M/M interaction. Especially if we get to see Michael smile like that again.
Michael does a little dance. Kicks a little ass. The fake punching noises nearly made me fall off my chair from rolling my eyes so hard but it wasn't a bad scene, considering. I don't know how Michael got that guy down on the ground so many times or how World didn't knock Michaels snot out with just one punch. Mahone coming to the rescue was a surprise, I must say. He looked a little crazy with his hair flying in every direction after every punch. It was like a bizarre L'Oreal commercial. I have an unhealthy obsession with Went's arms/shoulder blades so the last two caps are purely for my own enjoyment.
The whole prison seems to huddle up to the window just to see some oddly non-rigor mortis suffering bodies get shot in the head. Fun times! Then Sofia runs out and cops a feel of the corpses trying to find a love note from her dearest Whistler. Who is played by the wonderful Chris Vance. No matter how hard I try I will always picture him as Dr. Shaun. I hope he gets to take off his shirt. Remember his death scene on All Saints? Phwar. Anyway, it's time for brother dear to visit Michael again. Michael is excited. Michael thinks he's getting a transfer. Michael is not. Michael is sad. Poor Michael.
Lincoln shows Mike the Blackberry with LJ and Samara Sara on it. You just know Michael is wishing right now they'd cancel this show and give him the fucking happy ending he deserves.
Apart from the bile that bubbled it's way up my esophagus at every mention of Sara and the trauma of seeing Bellick in his tighty whities with a pair of Explorer socks shoved down the front, it was quite a satisfying viewing experience. Kind of. I may or may not have started misting up a bit at certain points but you can't prove it. I may or may not have put my fist in my mouth and moaned a few times but you can't prove that, either. Overall it wasn't the spectacular visual experience I was expecting, but the show has changed and in my opinion it may not be for the better. Because I'm one of those annoying people who watch the show only for Michael/Sara I'm not sure if the show can keep my brain entertained for the duration of the season, but only time will tell. Judging by the premiere ratings I'm not sure it will get the chance.
Did the Sarah double sitting in the corner freak anyone else out? Her wig is creepy as hell. She reminds me of Samara from The Ring. I was waiting for her to climb out of the blackberry and suck Michael's face off (Hrm. That sounds familiar). I don't know how I'm going to take the 3x03 phone call without cowering in fear if she looks like a Jim Henson creation. I'd actually be less disturbed if she resembled a tickle me Elmo.
----
Orientacion Pic!Spam
Disclaimer: Lots of sarcasm ahead. Please don't cry about it.
The shot of Susan in her panties undies was kind of unnecessary, no? I have a feeling this season will be full of random boobies to make up for the severe lack of them in previous seasons (Except Sara getting out from under the bed in 2x19. Because, damn. Wasn't that an eyeful). After seeing an interview with Jodi Lynn O'Keefe I really thought I'd warm to Susan when I saw her on screen but she didn't really move my furniture. The scratches on her face were a nice touch. When she said 'You push anything too far into a corner and the claws will come out' I had an awesome mental image of Sara hurtling at her head like a flying squirrel with her claws poised mid air ready to gouge her eyes out. The show will probably wreck my fun in the future though and reveal that it was Jane that did it. But that would be just typical of this show to ruin fun, wouldn't it.
They killed the hot guy? Why couldn't they kill the vest wearing weird haired one? Michael is just as shocked at the writers decision as I was. Doesn't take much to shock our boy these days though. The lighting in this scene is beautiful. I really wish they'd keep with the blue/green tint throughout the season but alas, it wasn't to be. The fight scene was pretty much made of awesome (How good was that over the shoulder star fish fling? That guy got pwned!) but could have done without the neck breaking sound effects k thx. My imagination was replacing the mud they were frolicking flinging around in with jell-o, which was odd but I couldn't control it. Judging by the look on Mike's face I have a feeling he might have been doing the same thing. Possibly. Probably not.
Opening titles. NO SARAH. Am I the only one who doesn't like the new credits? The music is a little too funky and I'm just not feeling the colours. Speaking of colours, what is with the ad break flashes? They're a little gay pride for my tastes. I know we're in Panama now but we're not exactly in paradise here kids. Lay off the LSD. Couldn't they have just stuck with the black and white? Aside from all this unnecessary nitpicking, there are some tasty Went pictures, especially the one at the end. This season feels like a completely different show to me and I'm not sure if it's winning me over. I have no doubt if they had Michael take his shirt off just once it would all come back to me rather quickly though.
Why didn't he wake up with a crick neck? Do good looking people not get them? Mike gets a visit from brother dear which gives birth to smile number one of the season. "Gonna break me out of here?" "LOL, no" Nice. Loved the joke about the cowboy boots, Linc totally should of taken a dig at Michael's questionable clothing choices last season. Right back at you brother. Let me know when corduroy pants are back in style will you.
Michael is all 'Zomg, Sara' and Lincoln looks confused. I'm assuming this will be the norm for the rest of the season. I really wish the transfer could happen and Michael could spend a little more time cracking a smile instead of moping around until the network cancels his show. Michael having a whinge about Sara made my heart constrict the first 27 times I saw it but because of the PB minus Sara situation every time Sara is spoken of I have the uncontrollable urge to yell 'That bitch ain't coming back!' at the screen. Bitter much? The singular tear Michael squeezed out was touching though. He's an emotional little thing isn't he. Bless.
How do we feel about McGrady? He's like a Tweener clone with better hair. Michael doesn't seem to get along with kids very well, they always annoy him when he's PO'ed and he usually tells them to F'Off. Speaking of annoying, Lechero has fallen into that category and landed flat on his face. I think it has much to do with the actor as it does the character. I should really give him a chance but I'm not going to. It was probably his unattractive side profile that irked me the most. Almost duck like. I had a traumatic run in with a duck when I was 5 so that probably explains it.
Hit me with a Samboy chip! This scene is by far one of my favourite of the episode. Only because we get to see pretty at his pouting stoic best. Michael seems to be jaw clenching a lot more this season (Yes. I'm keeping a tally) which makes my ovaries squirm with joy. The chicken foot was nasty and so was the guy pissing himself but there are always ways to make the situation comical. So Lechero feels threatened by Michael? Because he's better looking than him? Dude, didn't you get the memo, he is.
Michael sits and harns over Sara while clutching a paper crane. Flashbacks included. The porn kind. The best kind. If they kill Sara off this boy is going to flip his shit, seriously. The sadistic side of me is looking forward to the flipping of the shit actually as I eat angst for breakfast. With my weet bix. Angst is like splenda, a tasty alternative. Except unlike Splenda this alternative does give you high blood pressure and will most likely kill me by the time I'm 25. Good to know. All these Michael/Sara wangsting scenes didn't sting as much as I expected but I honestly hope they don't keep them up. It just keeps reminding me of the happy ending we're simply not going to see. Although if in the future a heavy angst scene includes Michael rocking in a corner while rending his garments, I'm all for it.
Dang, how sweaty was that bloke Michael went to have a chat to? He could tow a desalination plant behind him and provide fresh water to 3rd world countries for at least a month. His teeth were terrible too! He could have just chomped through the bars with a set like that. The 'This conversation is over' line had strange physical effects on me that I probably shouldn't type out.
I don't know why but I really liked the guy who wouldn't give Bellick and Sapo any food. His smarmy smile made me want to glomp him. Even if he did remind me of carnie folk. Urgh, cabbage. The chicken bone was nasty too. Where do they get all this food from? I highly doubt the army chucks fresh chickens over the fence so they can have their Sunday roast. I'm not feeling at all sorry for Bellick, I seem to be in the minority here. He deserves all he gets. Although I am fretting about his mother, which is beyond weird. Back on the steps, Michael is frowning and harning while molesting his paper bird. Pornish thoughts of Sara probably included. T-Bag walks up and informs pretty he's socially retarded. Michael looks conflicted and then proves T-Bags point by telling him to mush and STFU.
I kind of laughed when Sapo (Who was so not good looking enough to survive on this show) tried to haul ass out of there and ended up being shot 147 times by AK47's. Only there wasn't any gunshot wounds or blood. WTF show, seriously? Couldn't they have just splashed on some tomato sauce for effect? Michael takes it personally, like he always does and goes to do what he does best; cry against a wall and sigh dramatically. But there was a jaw clench so it satisfied me to no end.
This is probably very weird but when I saw the dead body in the morgue I immediately thought 'That can't be Sara, their boobs are far too big'. Oh subconscious, sometimes you scare my conscious train of thought. Because I'd spent the previous 2 minutes disregarding all the spoilers that indicated that she couldn't possibly be dead yet I was convinced that she was. Cue bile. But then show informed me that it wasn't her and I yelled at my computer screen in a bitter rage joy. Thankyou baby Jesus. Meanwhile in Sona, Michael is getting all up in Lechero's face and being a smarmy shit. Lechero should have just punched him, which would have been more realistic and funny.
Odd Michael/Mahone bonding. Smile #2. Who thinks Michael and Mahone are going to become BFF by the end of the season? Not me. But I wouldn't be surprised if they chuck in a make out scene in there somewhere. Because Mike is such a sissy bitch when it comes to fighting, Mahone feels the urge to give him some pointers. Go for the kneecap! I guess going for the groin is a little too 9pm time slot eh. Sarcasm aside, this is a great scene and I am looking forward to future M/M interaction. Especially if we get to see Michael smile like that again.
Michael does a little dance. Kicks a little ass. The fake punching noises nearly made me fall off my chair from rolling my eyes so hard but it wasn't a bad scene, considering. I don't know how Michael got that guy down on the ground so many times or how World didn't knock Michaels snot out with just one punch. Mahone coming to the rescue was a surprise, I must say. He looked a little crazy with his hair flying in every direction after every punch. It was like a bizarre L'Oreal commercial. I have an unhealthy obsession with Went's arms/shoulder blades so the last two caps are purely for my own enjoyment.
The whole prison seems to huddle up to the window just to see some oddly non-rigor mortis suffering bodies get shot in the head. Fun times! Then Sofia runs out and cops a feel of the corpses trying to find a love note from her dearest Whistler. Who is played by the wonderful Chris Vance. No matter how hard I try I will always picture him as Dr. Shaun. I hope he gets to take off his shirt. Remember his death scene on All Saints? Phwar. Anyway, it's time for brother dear to visit Michael again. Michael is excited. Michael thinks he's getting a transfer. Michael is not. Michael is sad. Poor Michael.
Lincoln shows Mike the Blackberry with LJ and Samara Sara on it. You just know Michael is wishing right now they'd cancel this show and give him the fucking happy ending he deserves.