Here and There
So last night I got to drop my the apartment on Sycamore one last time. The inhabitants were still in the midst of boxing a variety of things. I got to help out with bassfingers's computer wires and entertainment center wires. I got to unwire the whole place, really. A number of other folks showed up to help out as well, but nobody that I knew before. After several days of sleepless packing and worry, I assume that the twosome are finally on their way down the I-10 to Hue Stone. They actually got sleep last night, but the movers came this morning, and the landlady wants to start painting. Ain't that always the way?
Thus ends another era. I can recall the night at the Blackeyed Pea when it became clear that they would be moving to LALA. I regarded the move with some sadness, and some jealousy. It had been my plan back in college to move to the West coast, but years of low income in Hue Stone had prevented it. Once they made the leap I started to think about how important such a leap might be. Forcing myself into a new town with no support would finally force me to find my way in the world.
Today I look back and see that I was right. I did force myself to become an adult by moving. I left Tejas with no sense of direction or restraint. Today I feel very different about the world than I did back in 1998. Oddly, today I find myself looking, yet again, at bassfingers and Ash moving with a mix of sadness and jealousy. At this point in my life I am now seeking a strong bedrock upon which to build a new place for myself and my family.
I am the same person I was in 1998, and I want to move again, just as did then. Just like then, my move is preimaged by two friends who move to the same place I contemplate moving to. Back in 1999 I moved to LALA to find a fortune and a career so that I could support my new child. My friends are moving back for the very same reason. Was I wrong all those years ago? Could I have found my way in Hue Stone if I had tried harder? I didn't really try very hard out here, come to think of it. Like so many other things in my life, my path was laid out before me by friends and family.
I think I need to finally lay down a path that is shaped by my thoughts and feelings. I fear it will simply lead me back to the land of my friends and family, and that it will end up looking like all my other timid actions. Perhaps even I won't know I've done anything special.
That's why I keep changing my mind. It would make perfect sense to try and make a go of things here in LALA. I have a number of friends and I know my way around this crazy place. I have actual roots in this insane city of dreams. The way I talk and think is (and probably always has been) very much in keeping with this city. I may have been born to be a Los Angelino. Then again, perhaps it would be easier to be from LA if I didn't actually live there. I have not been very good at living here and being from Texas. I suspect I would do much better at being in Texas and being from LA. It would explain me better. I woudn't have to talk about my misspent youth watching bad movies and living out my own TV shows in long Sunday afternoons. My years of making little videos and talking like a game show host would seem perfectly natural. After all, I would be from LA. That's how people ARE there, isn't that right Earl?
Thus ends another era. I can recall the night at the Blackeyed Pea when it became clear that they would be moving to LALA. I regarded the move with some sadness, and some jealousy. It had been my plan back in college to move to the West coast, but years of low income in Hue Stone had prevented it. Once they made the leap I started to think about how important such a leap might be. Forcing myself into a new town with no support would finally force me to find my way in the world.
Today I look back and see that I was right. I did force myself to become an adult by moving. I left Tejas with no sense of direction or restraint. Today I feel very different about the world than I did back in 1998. Oddly, today I find myself looking, yet again, at bassfingers and Ash moving with a mix of sadness and jealousy. At this point in my life I am now seeking a strong bedrock upon which to build a new place for myself and my family.
I am the same person I was in 1998, and I want to move again, just as did then. Just like then, my move is preimaged by two friends who move to the same place I contemplate moving to. Back in 1999 I moved to LALA to find a fortune and a career so that I could support my new child. My friends are moving back for the very same reason. Was I wrong all those years ago? Could I have found my way in Hue Stone if I had tried harder? I didn't really try very hard out here, come to think of it. Like so many other things in my life, my path was laid out before me by friends and family.
I think I need to finally lay down a path that is shaped by my thoughts and feelings. I fear it will simply lead me back to the land of my friends and family, and that it will end up looking like all my other timid actions. Perhaps even I won't know I've done anything special.
That's why I keep changing my mind. It would make perfect sense to try and make a go of things here in LALA. I have a number of friends and I know my way around this crazy place. I have actual roots in this insane city of dreams. The way I talk and think is (and probably always has been) very much in keeping with this city. I may have been born to be a Los Angelino. Then again, perhaps it would be easier to be from LA if I didn't actually live there. I have not been very good at living here and being from Texas. I suspect I would do much better at being in Texas and being from LA. It would explain me better. I woudn't have to talk about my misspent youth watching bad movies and living out my own TV shows in long Sunday afternoons. My years of making little videos and talking like a game show host would seem perfectly natural. After all, I would be from LA. That's how people ARE there, isn't that right Earl?