A Deep Look At A Man's Soul
Jared posted these ten interesting facts about himself. At the end, he asked me to write ten about myself. I seriously considered just making ten random facts up, because I really don't know anything too interesting about myself. But I'll give it a shot:
10) I really am a mutt. My mother was born in Glasgow, Scotland, and even after 26 years in America, her accent is still strong as hell. Sometimes, I have trouble understanding what she's saying, but I'm sure this helps our relationship quite a bit. A few generations back, her folks are from Ireland, then even further back, again from Scotland. Wierdos.
My father was born in Mombassa, Kenya. His family is from a Portugest colony in India called Goa. When I was a little kid, I used to think that he was part of some nomadic tribe that hunted giraffes. Say what you will, I was a dumb little kid.
9 )I've seen a U.F.O. before. I'm not saying it was a flying saucer from outer space, it was just something that was really wierd looking zipping around the sky. I was walking home from a friends home at night, and this thing was about 10 or so miles to the north of me, and maybe out four to six hundred feet above ground. It changed colors three times, altered its speed a number of times, and then zipped off faster than I could follow with my eyes.
8) The difference in my parents age is exactly the same difference as that between my eldest brother, Raphael, who died of Leukemia, and myself. Not just the number of years, not just the number of months, or days, but down to the hour. My mom sat down one day and completely wrote this all out. This takes into account the time zone differences, too.
7) I lost my virginity on New Year's Day of 2003, around 5 o'clock in the morning, with a (now) good friend of mine, while both of us were sober, on the floor of her best friend's bedroom, while my best friend slept in the bed above us.
6) On a plane going to Britain (I think), I sat next to this dude. We started talking about music, and well, the conversation turned to his occupation.
"Hey, ever heard of the band Feeder?' He asked me, a grin slowly spreading across his face, letting me know that he was, in fact, well-associated with this band. Unfortunately, I had never heard of them. As I repeat this to him, the grin just instantly dies. "Oh, well, um...I'm their drummer." We made casual small talk after that, me kind of feeling like a jackass for ruining his pride, he obviously saddened by the fact that a young kid like me, who obviously fell into his target demographic, was blissfully ignorant of his major label band. He told me about his wife and newborn kid, and how they were going on a tour of Japan, and how I should give him a call up sometime, because he threw a bunch of house parties, and it might be fun for me to meet some cool people in Miami. We parted ways after he gave me his autograph (it's wierd; we're all so anxious to memorialize brushes with fame, even if we don't know what that fame is all about.)
Two summers ago, I went back to Britain. On a night out in London bar-hopping and drinking vodka that was hidden in our jacket pockets, I told my cousin Michael the story. He looks at me, then tells me that "at least the autograph may be worth something now." I turn and ask him, "Wait, so they actually got big?" A look of confusion crosses his face. "What, you don't know? They got really big in Japan, then came back to the States. A month or so later, the drummer's wife walked in on his body. He had hanged himself from the ceiling fan. Supposedly, he left a note saying that he couldn't take all the pressure." I spent the rest of the night in a drunken somber mood, realizing that due to my complete ignorance of the radio music culture, I single-handedly pushed a rising star to commit suicide.
5) Despite the number of physical altercations I have been in, I have never thrown a punch at anyone besides my brother and friends. When I have punched them, it has never been out of anger (well, maybe with my brother, but that happens to the best of us.)
4) This summer, I served Chuck Palahniuk lunch. He signed a few of my books, and later on at his reading, in front of 400 or so people, he gave me a shout out, and told everyone that I made the best tuna sandwich he's ever tried. He then threw me a fake dismembered leg, and autographed it afterwards. So I've also met a celebrity who I have not (yet) pushed to suicide.
3) There is only one single drawing that I have ever done that has come out well. If you know me well enough, you know I am constantly doodling, and can't draw for my life. However, one picture is actually pretty decent, and I'm rather proud of it, to a point. I didn't really know what I was drawing until it took shape, and it took the shape of someone impaled on a giant pencil. I bet my muse was on acid at the time.
2) I have been tazered. By police officers. Not for a stunt, no. I was arrested right afterwards.
1) I played badminton for two seasons in high school. I even have a varsity letter to prove it.
There you have it, folks. Ten interesting things about me. Looking over the list, I realizemy life has been a tad bit macabre to this point. Hope it continues like this.
10) I really am a mutt. My mother was born in Glasgow, Scotland, and even after 26 years in America, her accent is still strong as hell. Sometimes, I have trouble understanding what she's saying, but I'm sure this helps our relationship quite a bit. A few generations back, her folks are from Ireland, then even further back, again from Scotland. Wierdos.
My father was born in Mombassa, Kenya. His family is from a Portugest colony in India called Goa. When I was a little kid, I used to think that he was part of some nomadic tribe that hunted giraffes. Say what you will, I was a dumb little kid.
9 )I've seen a U.F.O. before. I'm not saying it was a flying saucer from outer space, it was just something that was really wierd looking zipping around the sky. I was walking home from a friends home at night, and this thing was about 10 or so miles to the north of me, and maybe out four to six hundred feet above ground. It changed colors three times, altered its speed a number of times, and then zipped off faster than I could follow with my eyes.
8) The difference in my parents age is exactly the same difference as that between my eldest brother, Raphael, who died of Leukemia, and myself. Not just the number of years, not just the number of months, or days, but down to the hour. My mom sat down one day and completely wrote this all out. This takes into account the time zone differences, too.
7) I lost my virginity on New Year's Day of 2003, around 5 o'clock in the morning, with a (now) good friend of mine, while both of us were sober, on the floor of her best friend's bedroom, while my best friend slept in the bed above us.
6) On a plane going to Britain (I think), I sat next to this dude. We started talking about music, and well, the conversation turned to his occupation.
"Hey, ever heard of the band Feeder?' He asked me, a grin slowly spreading across his face, letting me know that he was, in fact, well-associated with this band. Unfortunately, I had never heard of them. As I repeat this to him, the grin just instantly dies. "Oh, well, um...I'm their drummer." We made casual small talk after that, me kind of feeling like a jackass for ruining his pride, he obviously saddened by the fact that a young kid like me, who obviously fell into his target demographic, was blissfully ignorant of his major label band. He told me about his wife and newborn kid, and how they were going on a tour of Japan, and how I should give him a call up sometime, because he threw a bunch of house parties, and it might be fun for me to meet some cool people in Miami. We parted ways after he gave me his autograph (it's wierd; we're all so anxious to memorialize brushes with fame, even if we don't know what that fame is all about.)
Two summers ago, I went back to Britain. On a night out in London bar-hopping and drinking vodka that was hidden in our jacket pockets, I told my cousin Michael the story. He looks at me, then tells me that "at least the autograph may be worth something now." I turn and ask him, "Wait, so they actually got big?" A look of confusion crosses his face. "What, you don't know? They got really big in Japan, then came back to the States. A month or so later, the drummer's wife walked in on his body. He had hanged himself from the ceiling fan. Supposedly, he left a note saying that he couldn't take all the pressure." I spent the rest of the night in a drunken somber mood, realizing that due to my complete ignorance of the radio music culture, I single-handedly pushed a rising star to commit suicide.
5) Despite the number of physical altercations I have been in, I have never thrown a punch at anyone besides my brother and friends. When I have punched them, it has never been out of anger (well, maybe with my brother, but that happens to the best of us.)
4) This summer, I served Chuck Palahniuk lunch. He signed a few of my books, and later on at his reading, in front of 400 or so people, he gave me a shout out, and told everyone that I made the best tuna sandwich he's ever tried. He then threw me a fake dismembered leg, and autographed it afterwards. So I've also met a celebrity who I have not (yet) pushed to suicide.
3) There is only one single drawing that I have ever done that has come out well. If you know me well enough, you know I am constantly doodling, and can't draw for my life. However, one picture is actually pretty decent, and I'm rather proud of it, to a point. I didn't really know what I was drawing until it took shape, and it took the shape of someone impaled on a giant pencil. I bet my muse was on acid at the time.
2) I have been tazered. By police officers. Not for a stunt, no. I was arrested right afterwards.
1) I played badminton for two seasons in high school. I even have a varsity letter to prove it.
There you have it, folks. Ten interesting things about me. Looking over the list, I realizemy life has been a tad bit macabre to this point. Hope it continues like this.