need a roommate?
Oh boy do I have some updates for you my loyal devoted readers! Let’s dive right in shall we?
I have a new boyfriend and his name is Phillip. Phil comes to visit me every day at work and does a dance, he shakes his booty when he walks around the drive through. He tells me he dreamed about me last night, that he’s going to sleep in the bathtub tonight, and that he was born upside down from a donkey. Then he dances out the door singing “These boots are made for kissin’” Phillip has a lot of girlfriends all over Fulton, he visits them on his can-collecting route.
Now it’s time for a confession: I’ve been cheating on Phillip with a man in uniform. Ok so I haven’t actually seen him in his uniform yet, but trust me when I say that is something to look forward to. I know it’s wrong but I just can’t resist his dashing good looks and his disproportional large head.
Interesting observation here: I just realized my summer plans this year are almost identical the summer plans I had last year. If you don’t recall, I had summer plans last year that died a slow and painful death (scroll down to the old entries, you’ll see). I’m really hoping this summer’s plans are more resilient.
I’ve begun to regard all human interaction in terms of banking. I guess because I spend all day doing deposits and withdrawals. When I come home I find myself thinking of the nice things people do as deposits and the mean things people do or the favors the request as withdrawals. I think I may need a vacation.
I’ve been breaking the law a lot lately. I’ve trespassed, j-walked, and stolen money from little old ladies mostly. It seems that I’m growing up to be a criminal, and crime is fun.
That’s all I’ve got this time folks. And of course by folks I mean Peter and JD, my only readers. I expect sizable comments from both of you this time, you’re all I’ve got. Make me proud.
Goodnight.
I have a new boyfriend and his name is Phillip. Phil comes to visit me every day at work and does a dance, he shakes his booty when he walks around the drive through. He tells me he dreamed about me last night, that he’s going to sleep in the bathtub tonight, and that he was born upside down from a donkey. Then he dances out the door singing “These boots are made for kissin’” Phillip has a lot of girlfriends all over Fulton, he visits them on his can-collecting route.
Now it’s time for a confession: I’ve been cheating on Phillip with a man in uniform. Ok so I haven’t actually seen him in his uniform yet, but trust me when I say that is something to look forward to. I know it’s wrong but I just can’t resist his dashing good looks and his disproportional large head.
Interesting observation here: I just realized my summer plans this year are almost identical the summer plans I had last year. If you don’t recall, I had summer plans last year that died a slow and painful death (scroll down to the old entries, you’ll see). I’m really hoping this summer’s plans are more resilient.
I’ve begun to regard all human interaction in terms of banking. I guess because I spend all day doing deposits and withdrawals. When I come home I find myself thinking of the nice things people do as deposits and the mean things people do or the favors the request as withdrawals. I think I may need a vacation.
I’ve been breaking the law a lot lately. I’ve trespassed, j-walked, and stolen money from little old ladies mostly. It seems that I’m growing up to be a criminal, and crime is fun.
That’s all I’ve got this time folks. And of course by folks I mean Peter and JD, my only readers. I expect sizable comments from both of you this time, you’re all I’ve got. Make me proud.
Goodnight.