Of Temper Tantrums and Grown Women
Ok...so maybe I haven't been having a full blown temper tantrum; but, I've sure been doing a spectacular job of pouting since March. I've had some great things happen along the way; yet, I seem determined to keep that lower lip stuck out and a chip on my shoulder.
In August, I went to Cancun, met with awesome people and totally had a blast. Came back home and proceeded to pout full bore again. Desperately not wanting to be here; and, seriously missing people in my life who mean a lot to me.
In the last couple of weeks, I've kicked my own arse quite hard and booted myself out the door a time or two. Getting out regularly to shoot darts was one of my goals - even if the guys rope me into playing pool with them (I completely suck at pool, btw). They are a good group of people.
Then getting out to some of the clubs around and listening to bands (awesome blues band was playing up in Santa Rosa the other night...loved it!). Basically, getting back to having an actual life. I still completely deep dive my books (last night I was up WAY too late reading and am totally paying for it today) and my movies. But, I'm back to being out and about regularly, too.
Yes, I'm still digging around for ways back East. Yes, I would prefer to be closer to the people I love. But, I've decided the time for the pouting and the temper tantrum has passed. I need to step up and put on my big girl panties and just deal with the reality of the situation. For the time being, I am where I am. Those I love are where they are (though they could come visit/stay). And, until that changes, I have to make the most of it.
And, if those I love fade away over time due to the distance...well...it won't be because I didn't try to keep in touch, and let them know how much they meant. I love each and every one of them...and, I miss them all dearly. I know I am loved as well. Some just handle distance better than others.
Dad, Mom, Jaz, Joe, Julia (and family), Debbie, Gordon, Kate, Kess, Liz, Suna, Frank, Dodie...the list continues...you are all special, wonderful, and very dear to me. And, I miss you...very, very much.