Long Week...
I lost the first version of this post, which was about how I've been dealing with all the random dumb crap which has happened to me this week. I think the universe is playing with me, since losing those couple of paragraphs is itself the most recent of the dozens of little inconveniences that I've been dealing with constantly. (Oh, paperwork and missed communications and my poor friends enduring drama!)
Anyway, as I just typed to no one, I've been considering what it would mean to lose all those things that I've been worrying about, and it's oddly therapeutic. If I was homeless and friendless and sick, there would still be some insoluble opportunity from the mere state of being alive. So every time some new problem got dumped on me, I tried to go back to this state of thinking nothing except "I am alive", and with no confining expectations of what might happen next, it was easier to do something. Throwing away all those words and wishes and fears is that ability I have a tiny piece of, which is why I call myself 無爲.
Well, Taoist philosophy aside (and it sounds even sillier the second time around, dear me, I'm trying not to giggle), getting back into a routine should help out a lot. I am sure that I had something else to say, but it isn't at the front of my mind, and what I really want to do is curl up nose-to-tail and grin like an idiot about how nice it feels to be going to sleep on a soft bed. So that's what I'm going to do!
Anyway, as I just typed to no one, I've been considering what it would mean to lose all those things that I've been worrying about, and it's oddly therapeutic. If I was homeless and friendless and sick, there would still be some insoluble opportunity from the mere state of being alive. So every time some new problem got dumped on me, I tried to go back to this state of thinking nothing except "I am alive", and with no confining expectations of what might happen next, it was easier to do something. Throwing away all those words and wishes and fears is that ability I have a tiny piece of, which is why I call myself 無爲.
Well, Taoist philosophy aside (and it sounds even sillier the second time around, dear me, I'm trying not to giggle), getting back into a routine should help out a lot. I am sure that I had something else to say, but it isn't at the front of my mind, and what I really want to do is curl up nose-to-tail and grin like an idiot about how nice it feels to be going to sleep on a soft bed. So that's what I'm going to do!