Fic: 5 Times Rachel Stole a Solo (And 1 Time She Tried to Steal 11)
Title: 5 Times Rachel Stole a Solo (And 1 Time She Tried to Steal 11)
Author: quaili
Rating: K (PG)
Character(s)/Pairing(s):Rachel Berry, Ensemble (Finn/Rachel, Mentioned Kurt/Puck)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Humor
Warning: Mild swearing and possible panic triggers
Spoilers: Set after Season 1
Disclaimer: Not mine
Author Notes: Set in the “Breathe” universe, and taking place after “Just Breathe”. (What you need to know: Kurt has Generalized Panic Disorder, and a prank by Vocal Adrenaline has made it worse. Puck is Kurt’s “Safe Person” (Someone who knows how to deal with panic attacks and spot the signs)
Summary: Rachel has to learn that she can’t have every single solo. inspired by a prompt on the glee angst meme.
Word Count: 4,500
1.) “Over the Rainbow” -Puck-
“But this is *my* song!”
Puck rolled his eyes. He knew as soon as Mr. Schuester had handed out the parts that Rachel would pitch a fit. Puck had been given the solo, with the reasoning that having the rugged looking “jock” singing the Wizard of Oz classic (with a bluesy guitar twist, thankfully) would be memorable.
At least Rachel had waited until everyone else left, pouncing on Puck the moment he had picked up his guitar to tune it, complaining about Schue’s ‘pathetic gimmicks and lack of vision’
“Every song is your song Berry.” Puck replied, strumming the first few chords just to annoy her. Rachel always had a solo, always knew the entire history of some stupid show tune, and gave her opinion, loudly, on the chosen choreography.
“Besides, this song’s a panty wetter.” He continued “Girls go nuts when the Puckster breaks out the sensitive-dude-with-a-guitar shit.”
Rachel was spazzing out.
“You don’t even care about glee! I’ve been singing “Somewhere over the Rainbow” since I was two! Two, Noah! And you’re just going to - to- defile it by using it to get sex!”
Puck shrugged. He didn’t particularly care if he got a solo or not. Not like Rachel, or Kurt, or even Mercedes did. Dancing in the back gave him much more opportunity to watch the hot chicks grooving in front of him. He did, however, care about annoying Rachel.
“Sorry, but Mr. Schue’s right. I guess I’m just better at the song.” He shrugged, trying to hold back a laugh as Rachel’s face went white with rage.
“Besides. Total. Panty Wetter.”
“I’ll let you touch my boobs.” Rachel said suddenly, and Puck wasn’t really sure what she was up to but it involved boobs, so he was game. The guitar was set to the side.
“IF-” Rachel held up her hand, keeping Puck at bay. “If you give me the solo, I’ll let you touch my boobs.”
“Full Frontal. That means bra off.” Puck countered.
“Over the bra.” Rachel bargained, but gave in when Puck reached for his guitar again. “Okay! Okay, bra off!”
Puck grinned.
Like he said, he really didn’t care if got a solo. And Rachel would just be a bitch until she got to be the star. It wasn’t worth listening to her nag.
- - -
2.) “Bust Your Windows” - Mercedes-
“Mr. Schue, I have to protest.” Rachel was waving the sheet music around wildly to get the teacher’s attention, and Mercedes resisted the urge to grab those papers and hit her with them. ...Barely.
“This song is not glee material! It encourages violence, and pettiness and destruction of property!”
The song, “Bust your Windows” had been Mercedes’ suggestion, and Kurt, after he had dabbed the tears of laugher from his cheeks, urged her to sing it. The entire group had gotten into the song, and before she knew what was happening, Mercedes was given her first big solo.
So of course Rachel had to be a bitch about it.
“It’s a song, Rachel.” Mr. Schuester argued. “It’s a very good song in fact, and Mercedes knocked it out of the park. I think it will make a killer addition to our set list.”
“Mr. Schue!”
“Rachel, we’re doing the song.” He said firmly.
“Fine.” Rachel muttered, pursing her lips and staring down at her lap.
Mercedes was smiling, and Kurt was petting her arm, looking like a proud dad. “She’s just mad you got the solo.” he leaned over to whisper. “You’re going to be fantastic.”
She was surprised that Rachel didn’t fight harder. Well, she was surprised for about a week before Mr. Schuester pulled her aside before practice, explaining gently and apologetically that there had been some parent’s complaining about lyrics in the songs used at school functions.
Figgin’s had to approve the new set list, and he was really sorry, but Mercedes’ solo hadn’t made the cut. Schue had promised to find another song for her soon, but to appease the upset parents they were going to have to go with something a little more traditional right now.
When Mr. Schue announced the change to the class, everyone looked at Rachel, who frowned at Mercedes. “I just knew that was the wrong type of song.” she said sympathetically, her large doe eyes lasting until Mr. Schue asked if someone had suggestions for a replacement.
Rachel, of course, knew just the perfect, wholesome, song, and conveniently, it was her absolute favorite, it was in her wheelhouse and she already knew every note by heart. She even had some extra copies of the sheet music in her bag, because she was afraid something like this might happen.
After practice, Mercedes let Kurt take her out for some ice cream and karaoke night at the bowling alley, promising herself that next time she wouldn’t let Rachel steal her solo so easily.
- -
3.) “Rose’s Turn” Kurt Hummel
Kurt’s second attempt at a solo had ended up with a fresh round of therapy, a renewed aversion to flagpoles, and reluctance to take the spotlight for a few months. They were working on that one though.
His first attempt at a solo had been disastrous, but less scarring, The mangled high F was still raw in his mind and whenever he listened to “Defying Gravity” he could feel his chest tighten, the smallest hint of a panic attack building as the song went on, climbing higher and higher to that note. So he just didn’t listen to it that much anymore. Besides, he really kind of liked his adapted version of Rose’s Turn.
Apparently so did Mr. Schuester, who had overheard him singing it one day to show off his high kicks for the boys. Kurt was mostly over the self pity and anger that had inspired the piece, but it felt nice to be able to belt out something with real emotion occasionally.
Schue had applauded, asked him if he could tweak the lyrics a bit, exchange Rachel’s name with a singer or broadway star perhaps, to make it more accessible to the audience, and to prevent hurt feelings, and then offered him the solo. Just like that. No drama, No diva off. Just a solo. Third time was the charm right?
Everyone else thinks it’s a little weird, but Kurt’s generalized panic disorder doesn’t really extend to performing. Give him a costume or a microphone and he was on top of the world. And if he was freaking out a little before the first practice, well, that’s just something he did sometimes. Mr. Schuester knew what he was like, and allowed him to hide out in his office until the rest of the glee club had arrived, and gotten a little quieter .
“Are you okay?” Rachel asked.
Kurt jumped. He wasn’t used to people coming in to what Puck had dubbed the “panic room” without knocking.
“Yeah. Just a little...” Kurt held up his hand so she could see it shaking and let out a nervous laugh. “I’ll be okay.”
Rachel sat down on the floor next to him, and patted his knee.
“You don’t have to do it. We all know how worried you are about having another solo.” She said gently.
“No. I want to.” Kurt didn’t look up, rubbing the skin on his knuckles anxiously.
“You don’t Kurt. I can tell. You’re scared.” She told him
Kurt shook his head.
“It’s not your fault. You have a mental illness, and you feel like you have to prove something with this solo. But all you’re going to do is get yourself worked up, and I don’t want to see you suffering like that. It’s okay to be scared. I’d be terrified if I were in your place.”
Kurt’s breath hitched, and he struggled to breathe calmly. No he could do this. He loved performing. He loved “Rose’s Turn”
“I mean imagine,” Rachel said, sounding like she was talking to herself. “Getting up in front of thousands of people, and worrying about your voice cracking, or getting too emotional, or that everyone in the audience was watching you, waiting for you to break down and run off the stage crying.”
Kurt pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them and tucking his face down, Oh god. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t even practice it without freaking out.
“Kurt, are you okay?” Rachel sounded concerned, but he couldn’t get enough breath to answer her. He shook his head, wishing she would just go get Puck. He flinched as she leaned closer.
“You can’t do this to yourself. You’re pushing yourself way to hard, Kurt. You need to step back and take care of yourself okay, let someone else worry about singing.”
Kurt nodded. He was shaking, and his chest hurt. He couldn’t breathe. He just wanted to breathe.
“Get Puck” he gritted out.
Rachel patted his back. “All right. Don’t worry. I’m going to go get Puck for you okay? He’ll be here in just a second. You don’t have to worry anymore. You don’t have to sing.”
Kurt nodded shakily, stifling a sob against his arm. He couldn’t do this.
- - -
4.) “The Boy is Mine” Santana
Santana didn’t even look up from her magazine. “No”
She heard Rachel fling herself down in a chair. “But this is my song.”
“No it isn’t.” The cheerleader flicked a page, studying the new shades of nail polish. They were all much too pink. “Mr. Schuester gave the solos to me and Brittany. Get over it.”
Santana was kind of sick of hearing Rachel sing so much. She had been getting all the solos and it made glee boring. Besides, it was about time a cheerleader got center stage.
Rachel didn’t shut up. “Do you even realize how silly it is that you and Brittany are singing “The Boy is Mine”? You two are the last people to argue about a boy.”
Santana flipped another page, “Don’t think I won’t rip out your voice box, Berry.” She warned easily.
“Well it’s true.” Rachel said. “The two of you have skipped Glee twice, and Cheerios at least once, according to Kurt, because you’re experimenting with lesbianism in the second floor janitor’s closet. You told everyone you were sick with the flu.”
Carefully putting the magazine aside, Santana looked up at Rachel, giving the other girl her best dangerous glare. “And you’re still not getting my solo, so what exactly is your point?” She crossed her arms.
Rachel mirrored Santana’s expression. “My point is that if I don’t get that solo, I’ll make sure that Coach Sylvester knows exactly why you’re missing practice. I’m not sure how forgiving she’ll be once she learns that you lied about having a contagious disease so you could make out with your girlfriend.”
Santana did have to give the girl props. She could be a ruthless bitch if she wanted to be. It was almost too bad she wasn’t pretty or interesting enough to be a cheerleader.
Later she and Brittany, who had lost interest in having a duet with someone other than Santana, skipped glee again, and made out in the science lab. It was so much better than listening to Rachel bitch and moan during practice.
- - -
5.) “I’ll stand by you” Finn Hudson
Finn was laying on Rachel’s bed, looking at their newest assignment from Schuester. “I’ll Stand By You” by the Pretenders. It was one of Finn’s favorite songs, and Schuester had been pleased when he immediately volunteered for the solo, even managing to beat Rachel, though she said it was okay.
And yeah, so Beth hadn’t been his, but he still liked the song. He liked being the protector, the strong guy, the person people could turn to. And....he did totally rock the song.
“I still don’t know why you wanted to sing this.” Rachel said, and Finn looked up. His girlfriend was sitting in front of her vanity, facing the bed while she studied the sheet music with a frown. “I mean...not that you’re bad. It’s just usually you prefer...duets. With me.”
Finn shrugged. The truth was that Kurt had been upset lately and with Puck’s new job, the two of them really didn’t get to hang out...or date..or whatever it was the two of them did when they took off for a couple hours. So Finn had been trying to cheer him up, but Kurt had been keeping to himself when he was feeling bad, saying he didn’t want Finn worrying over nothing.
Okay, so singing ballads hadn’t really worked last time, but Finn knew Kurt liked the song, He kept catching Kurt absently playing parts of it on the piano when the group fooled around before glee’s practice, and he always had this little smile on his face like he was remembering something.
Finn wondered if Kurt remembered the night he was having a nightmare and Finn sang “I’ll stand by you” to his sleeping brother. He wasn’t sure if Kurt had woken up, he had been pretty drugged up on some anti-anxiety meds.
“I don’t know” Finn said. “Kurt likes it, and I figure it might cheer him up.”
“You’re going to sing this to Kurt?” Rachel looked puzzled.
“...yes? Why, do you think it’s a bad idea?” Finn asked.
With a smile Rachel moved to the bed, settling down beside her boyfriend. “Oh Finn, you’re so sweet, but you know how Kurt is. He hates being fussed over. He wouldn’t want you making a scene.”
“Yeah. I guess you’re right”. He wouldn’t want to freak out Kurt. And it was kind of creepy when people sang to him.
Rachel snuggled down to his side. “I’ll help you figure out something to do for him. Why don’t you let me have the solo this time? You need someone to stand by you too. And when I sing, you’ll know I’m singing just for you.”
“....sure.” Finn agreed. He really did have a great girlfriend. She thought of all the little stuff, and she was pretty awesome, when she wasn’t going crazy about music and singing and choreography.
Plus it would be kind of hard to sing that without weirding Kurt out. Maybe he could take him bowling or something.
- - -
6.)”Don’t Rain on My Parade” Everyone But Rachel
Rachel was ecstatic. Principal Figgins had asked the Glee Club to perform at Parent/Teacher Night, and Mr. Schuester had suggested they revisit the Barbara Streisand classic that had won them sectionals. He had only mentioned it at the end of practice, but promised they would jump right in at the next rehearsal.
This was going to be great. She hummed the opening bars as she she strolled into the choir room, a little late, but she had made sure to advise Mr. Schuester of the fact that she would be behind schedule.
“Rachel.” The teacher greeted her, sounding serious, “Have a seat.”
The rest of the glee club was sitting quietly in their chairs, looking somber.
Alarmed she glanced around. Usually those kind of looks meant 1 of 3 things.
One. The cheerleaders were in trouble with Coach Sylvester, But Brittany and Santana were both sitting on the front row, looking a little angry, but fine.
Two. Kurt was having a serious panic attack again. The serious ones were pretty rare but they still shook everyone up. Kurt was sitting beside Puck looking calm, his fingers resting lightly on his boyfriend’s thigh, as if Puck were some sort of service dog. Puck was glaring.
Three. The bullies had been particularly vicious. She looked around, but there weren’t any obvious signs of slushies or dumpster dives, and she would have heard earlier. They had a pretty good communication system for that sort of thing.
So, really, she had no idea why everyone looked so upset.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
Mr. Schuester gestured to the chair, and she noticed that it faced the rest of the glee club. “Take a seat.” He repeated.
Rachel did so, tucking her skirt around her legs anxiously. She looked up at Finn, hoping for some reassurance, but he looked down, refusing to meet her eye. She turned back to the teacher.
With a sigh, Mr Schuester pulled the piano bench over, sitting off to the side. “Before we begin working on our Parent/Teacher set, I think we need to have an honest talk. as a group. We began rehearsal by discussing our ideas for arrangements and solos for “Don’t Rain on my Parade.-”
“Oh.” Rachel interrupted, relieved. “Don’t worry. I’ve been practicing since our last class, It will be a cake walk.”
“Actually Rachel, I never said you were going to be singing the solo.”
“Well you didn’t have to. I mean, this is *my* song. I won regionals with this song. You can’t take this solo away from me!”
“No one is taking the solo from you Rachel. In fact there’s going to be 12 solos. Everyone is going to get a chance to express themselves, and their own style.”
“You can’t do that! You don’t understand. It’s my song!” Rachel was horrified. 12 solos! The song would be butchered.
“And I think you just found the topic for our discussion. We-” Schue waved a hand to include himself, and the 11 glee members. “were tossing around ideas about who should sing the solo, and some very interesting patterns started to come to light. It seems that more often than not you end up with the solos.”
“Well naturally, I mean-”
“Even solos that weren’t originally yours.” Mr Schuester interrupted her. “And I let it slide, because I assumed there were good reason for the changes. If I had known how you were managing to get those extra solos...” he let his voice trail off into a disappointed look.
“I- I don’t understand.” Rachel murmured, smoothing her skirt again.
“He means you’re a psychotic bitch.” Puck growled, though he was shushed quietly by an amused looking Kurt.
“It’s been brought to my attention that you have been bullying, harassing, and lying to your fellow glee members in order to take over their solos.” Schuester steepled his fingers, his voice suddenly very serious. “Now, I’m not accusing you of anything. But we can’t have that kind of behavior in this group, and I’d like to hear what you have to say.”
Rachel lifted her chin. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I would never do anything that wasn’t for the group’s best interests. ...And I didn’t bully anyone.”
“You threatened to get me in trouble with Coach Sylvester if I didn’t let you have my solo.” Santana was the first to speak.
Brittany nodded “She was going to get us in trouble for making out instead of going to practice.”
Schuester’s eyebrows twitched. “Um...okay. Rachel?”
“I-I-” Rachel stuttered. It sounded bad when they put it that way. “I thought it would be best if I sang. They’re both good but I’m more dedicated. We all know that. I didn’t think they really cared.”
“Rachel, did you threaten Santana so that you could sing her solo?” Schuester asked simply.
“Yes.” She mumbled.
“And what about my solo?” Mercedes asked. “We all know you were the one who complained to Figgins about it because it wasn’t your style.”
“I didn’t!” Rachel protested. “...My dad’s did. and I asked them to. I just thought...well the songs I choose are more appropriate, and...” She looked up at the other girl, seeing the hurt on her face.
“Do you know how much that solo meant to me? I finally got the chance to sing a song, a song I really liked. And you ruined that.”
“I’m sorry.” Rachel said quietly, meaning it. She had never really taken the time to think about how Mercedes would feel, how any of them would feel.
“Ask her what she did to get my song.” Puck sneered, and Rachel felt her face flame with embarrassment. She shook her head.
“Go on. Tell them.” Puck goaded, and when it became obvious that she wouldn’t he answered himself. “She offered to let me get to second base. ”
Everyone turned to look at Kurt, who just shrugged. “He’s Puck. He gropes things. Usually he just has better taste.” he gave Rachel an unimpressed once over.
“Pretty cheap date though.” Puck added and Rachel had never felt more humiliated in her life.
Schuester gave Puck a warning look, then rubbed his temple. “So that adds... bribery and sabotage to the list. Anyone else?”
“She made me have a panic attack.” Kurt said simply, and Rachel took the time to really look at him. His usual frosty persona had slipped a little, an he was picking at the skin on his knuckles again, looking at the floor. Puck reached out lightly, taking the smaller teen’s shaking hand in his.
Rachel thought back to the day she saw him, tied up to the flag pole, so scared. She had told herself it was for his own good, for the group’s good, and she wasn’t really going to scare him that badly. But she knew.
“Kurt-” she said softly. “oh Kurt. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant...” She couldn’t finish.
Finn cleared his throat. “I wanted to sing ‘I’ll Stand by You’ for...someone” he glanced at Kurt, and Rachel’s heart dropped as she saw Kurt smile shakily at him, mouthing and astonished ‘really?’. Finn nodded and smiled back, then looked at Rachel.
“Did you tell me not to sing, because you were trying to help me, or because you wanted the solo?”
“I wanted to sing for you, Finn.” She pleaded.
Finn shook his head. “No you didn’t. The only person you were thinking about was yourself.” He sounded hurt and disappointed.
Rachel felt like she was in shock. She had been able to rationalize everything to herself, each little bit of tinkering or ..no. there weren’t really any good words for it. She hadn’t been tinkering, or nudging, or helping. He had been manipulative and petty, a... slut. She had terrorized Kurt.
Looking around the room she took the time to see each person individually, see the anger and pain.
She had hurt all of them, the people she considered friends, run them over and stole their spotlights, and she had convinced herself it was okay, that sacrifices had to be made for success and fame. It hit her like a brick.
She felt horrible.
“I’m sorry.” Rachel said again.
The silence stretched on.
She felt tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.
With a deep sigh, Mr. Schuester broke the silence, leaning forward into his seat.
“We can’t have that type of behavior in here. There are 12 members of New Directions, and maybe some of it’s my fault. I know in the past I was willing to have “stars”. But I was wrong, and I hope all 12 of you can forgive me for unintentionally excluding any one of you. I’ve been working to stop that and I know that you won’t let it happen any more.” He cracked a small smile, and there was scattered, hollow, laughter. Mike and Matt were both nodding in agreement.
“But Rachel,” He continued. “What you did was very much intentional, and hurtful. You had friends here, that you hurt badly and took advantage of. You let your need to be the star overshadow your responsibility as a team member, to support your fellow students, and to be happy for them when they got to shine.”
Rachel nodded, her lips trembling slightly.
“And unfortunately, that behavior does have consequences. You know my policy is to never turn anyone away who auditions. But we can’t have someone in the group whose sole purpose is to sabotage and humiliate the other members. It’s not a healthy situation, for anyone, and it’s not what glee club should be about. Vocal Adrenaline has enough of that attitude for 5 show choirs.”
Rachel felt sick. “Are you- are you kicking me out of glee?”
“No. I’m not.” Mr. Schuester said. “But it is my responsibility to provide a safe environment for my students... So it’s their decision. If you stay, there will have to be some major changes. If they don’t feel comfortable...”
Rachel glanced up at her fellow glee members, but they were all watching her steadily. They had already decided.
“Mr. Schue?” Surprisingly it was Kurt who spoke up. “I can’t speak for everyone, but...I think there might be some middle ground.” The teen stared at Rachel for a moment and she struggled to hold his gaze, but apparently Kurt was satisfied with what he saw.
“I think she’s learned a really important lesson.” he gave her a slight smile, just the corners of his mouth twitching, “It’d be kind of hard not to, this is like one of the weirdest episodes of intervention I’ve seen. And that includes the one with the hair eater.”
Artie snorted, and Tina smacked his arm lightly.
“ Seriously. Hair. How disgusting is that?.” He shook his head. “Anyway, ‘ Don’t Rain on My Parade’ could be easily redone as 11 solos and and ensemble piece. If Rachel would agree to sit this performance out, and the rest of group agree of course-” Kurt’s eyes slid across the room, and heads began to nod slowly. “We can consider that her probationary period?” He looked at Mr. Schuester, shrugging. “It’s an option.”
Rachel held her breath.
Mr. Schue looked surprised. “That..that sounds like a wonderful idea. Thank you Kurt. Does everyone else agree to that arrangement? Show of hands.” he raised his own, and one by one, each of the 11 students lifted theirs. Puck was the last with what sounded suspiciously like a growl, and a subtle nudge from Kurt.
“Can I say something?” Rachel asked tentatively, and Mr. Schue nodded.
Rachel took a breath. “I just wanted to say... I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was stupid, and mean, and self centered... more than I usually am. I really am sorry, and thank you for giving me a second chance. I don’t know what I can do to make it up to all of you-”
“Cookies?” Finn asked hopefully, perking up, and that broke the tension, soon the entire room had dissolved into laughter, followed by a giggling and slightly sniffly group hug, kurt carefully wedged between Finn and Puck near the edge.
“All right guys!” Mr. Schue finally said, breaking them up. He patted Rachel on the shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile. “I think we’re just going to wing it today. Mike, come up here and show us what you got.”
Author: quaili
Rating: K (PG)
Character(s)/Pairing(s):Rachel Berry, Ensemble (Finn/Rachel, Mentioned Kurt/Puck)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Humor
Warning: Mild swearing and possible panic triggers
Spoilers: Set after Season 1
Disclaimer: Not mine
Author Notes: Set in the “Breathe” universe, and taking place after “Just Breathe”. (What you need to know: Kurt has Generalized Panic Disorder, and a prank by Vocal Adrenaline has made it worse. Puck is Kurt’s “Safe Person” (Someone who knows how to deal with panic attacks and spot the signs)
Summary: Rachel has to learn that she can’t have every single solo. inspired by a prompt on the glee angst meme.
Word Count: 4,500
1.) “Over the Rainbow” -Puck-
“But this is *my* song!”
Puck rolled his eyes. He knew as soon as Mr. Schuester had handed out the parts that Rachel would pitch a fit. Puck had been given the solo, with the reasoning that having the rugged looking “jock” singing the Wizard of Oz classic (with a bluesy guitar twist, thankfully) would be memorable.
At least Rachel had waited until everyone else left, pouncing on Puck the moment he had picked up his guitar to tune it, complaining about Schue’s ‘pathetic gimmicks and lack of vision’
“Every song is your song Berry.” Puck replied, strumming the first few chords just to annoy her. Rachel always had a solo, always knew the entire history of some stupid show tune, and gave her opinion, loudly, on the chosen choreography.
“Besides, this song’s a panty wetter.” He continued “Girls go nuts when the Puckster breaks out the sensitive-dude-with-a-guitar shit.”
Rachel was spazzing out.
“You don’t even care about glee! I’ve been singing “Somewhere over the Rainbow” since I was two! Two, Noah! And you’re just going to - to- defile it by using it to get sex!”
Puck shrugged. He didn’t particularly care if he got a solo or not. Not like Rachel, or Kurt, or even Mercedes did. Dancing in the back gave him much more opportunity to watch the hot chicks grooving in front of him. He did, however, care about annoying Rachel.
“Sorry, but Mr. Schue’s right. I guess I’m just better at the song.” He shrugged, trying to hold back a laugh as Rachel’s face went white with rage.
“Besides. Total. Panty Wetter.”
“I’ll let you touch my boobs.” Rachel said suddenly, and Puck wasn’t really sure what she was up to but it involved boobs, so he was game. The guitar was set to the side.
“IF-” Rachel held up her hand, keeping Puck at bay. “If you give me the solo, I’ll let you touch my boobs.”
“Full Frontal. That means bra off.” Puck countered.
“Over the bra.” Rachel bargained, but gave in when Puck reached for his guitar again. “Okay! Okay, bra off!”
Puck grinned.
Like he said, he really didn’t care if got a solo. And Rachel would just be a bitch until she got to be the star. It wasn’t worth listening to her nag.
- - -
2.) “Bust Your Windows” - Mercedes-
“Mr. Schue, I have to protest.” Rachel was waving the sheet music around wildly to get the teacher’s attention, and Mercedes resisted the urge to grab those papers and hit her with them. ...Barely.
“This song is not glee material! It encourages violence, and pettiness and destruction of property!”
The song, “Bust your Windows” had been Mercedes’ suggestion, and Kurt, after he had dabbed the tears of laugher from his cheeks, urged her to sing it. The entire group had gotten into the song, and before she knew what was happening, Mercedes was given her first big solo.
So of course Rachel had to be a bitch about it.
“It’s a song, Rachel.” Mr. Schuester argued. “It’s a very good song in fact, and Mercedes knocked it out of the park. I think it will make a killer addition to our set list.”
“Mr. Schue!”
“Rachel, we’re doing the song.” He said firmly.
“Fine.” Rachel muttered, pursing her lips and staring down at her lap.
Mercedes was smiling, and Kurt was petting her arm, looking like a proud dad. “She’s just mad you got the solo.” he leaned over to whisper. “You’re going to be fantastic.”
She was surprised that Rachel didn’t fight harder. Well, she was surprised for about a week before Mr. Schuester pulled her aside before practice, explaining gently and apologetically that there had been some parent’s complaining about lyrics in the songs used at school functions.
Figgin’s had to approve the new set list, and he was really sorry, but Mercedes’ solo hadn’t made the cut. Schue had promised to find another song for her soon, but to appease the upset parents they were going to have to go with something a little more traditional right now.
When Mr. Schue announced the change to the class, everyone looked at Rachel, who frowned at Mercedes. “I just knew that was the wrong type of song.” she said sympathetically, her large doe eyes lasting until Mr. Schue asked if someone had suggestions for a replacement.
Rachel, of course, knew just the perfect, wholesome, song, and conveniently, it was her absolute favorite, it was in her wheelhouse and she already knew every note by heart. She even had some extra copies of the sheet music in her bag, because she was afraid something like this might happen.
After practice, Mercedes let Kurt take her out for some ice cream and karaoke night at the bowling alley, promising herself that next time she wouldn’t let Rachel steal her solo so easily.
- -
3.) “Rose’s Turn” Kurt Hummel
Kurt’s second attempt at a solo had ended up with a fresh round of therapy, a renewed aversion to flagpoles, and reluctance to take the spotlight for a few months. They were working on that one though.
His first attempt at a solo had been disastrous, but less scarring, The mangled high F was still raw in his mind and whenever he listened to “Defying Gravity” he could feel his chest tighten, the smallest hint of a panic attack building as the song went on, climbing higher and higher to that note. So he just didn’t listen to it that much anymore. Besides, he really kind of liked his adapted version of Rose’s Turn.
Apparently so did Mr. Schuester, who had overheard him singing it one day to show off his high kicks for the boys. Kurt was mostly over the self pity and anger that had inspired the piece, but it felt nice to be able to belt out something with real emotion occasionally.
Schue had applauded, asked him if he could tweak the lyrics a bit, exchange Rachel’s name with a singer or broadway star perhaps, to make it more accessible to the audience, and to prevent hurt feelings, and then offered him the solo. Just like that. No drama, No diva off. Just a solo. Third time was the charm right?
Everyone else thinks it’s a little weird, but Kurt’s generalized panic disorder doesn’t really extend to performing. Give him a costume or a microphone and he was on top of the world. And if he was freaking out a little before the first practice, well, that’s just something he did sometimes. Mr. Schuester knew what he was like, and allowed him to hide out in his office until the rest of the glee club had arrived, and gotten a little quieter .
“Are you okay?” Rachel asked.
Kurt jumped. He wasn’t used to people coming in to what Puck had dubbed the “panic room” without knocking.
“Yeah. Just a little...” Kurt held up his hand so she could see it shaking and let out a nervous laugh. “I’ll be okay.”
Rachel sat down on the floor next to him, and patted his knee.
“You don’t have to do it. We all know how worried you are about having another solo.” She said gently.
“No. I want to.” Kurt didn’t look up, rubbing the skin on his knuckles anxiously.
“You don’t Kurt. I can tell. You’re scared.” She told him
Kurt shook his head.
“It’s not your fault. You have a mental illness, and you feel like you have to prove something with this solo. But all you’re going to do is get yourself worked up, and I don’t want to see you suffering like that. It’s okay to be scared. I’d be terrified if I were in your place.”
Kurt’s breath hitched, and he struggled to breathe calmly. No he could do this. He loved performing. He loved “Rose’s Turn”
“I mean imagine,” Rachel said, sounding like she was talking to herself. “Getting up in front of thousands of people, and worrying about your voice cracking, or getting too emotional, or that everyone in the audience was watching you, waiting for you to break down and run off the stage crying.”
Kurt pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them and tucking his face down, Oh god. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t even practice it without freaking out.
“Kurt, are you okay?” Rachel sounded concerned, but he couldn’t get enough breath to answer her. He shook his head, wishing she would just go get Puck. He flinched as she leaned closer.
“You can’t do this to yourself. You’re pushing yourself way to hard, Kurt. You need to step back and take care of yourself okay, let someone else worry about singing.”
Kurt nodded. He was shaking, and his chest hurt. He couldn’t breathe. He just wanted to breathe.
“Get Puck” he gritted out.
Rachel patted his back. “All right. Don’t worry. I’m going to go get Puck for you okay? He’ll be here in just a second. You don’t have to worry anymore. You don’t have to sing.”
Kurt nodded shakily, stifling a sob against his arm. He couldn’t do this.
- - -
4.) “The Boy is Mine” Santana
Santana didn’t even look up from her magazine. “No”
She heard Rachel fling herself down in a chair. “But this is my song.”
“No it isn’t.” The cheerleader flicked a page, studying the new shades of nail polish. They were all much too pink. “Mr. Schuester gave the solos to me and Brittany. Get over it.”
Santana was kind of sick of hearing Rachel sing so much. She had been getting all the solos and it made glee boring. Besides, it was about time a cheerleader got center stage.
Rachel didn’t shut up. “Do you even realize how silly it is that you and Brittany are singing “The Boy is Mine”? You two are the last people to argue about a boy.”
Santana flipped another page, “Don’t think I won’t rip out your voice box, Berry.” She warned easily.
“Well it’s true.” Rachel said. “The two of you have skipped Glee twice, and Cheerios at least once, according to Kurt, because you’re experimenting with lesbianism in the second floor janitor’s closet. You told everyone you were sick with the flu.”
Carefully putting the magazine aside, Santana looked up at Rachel, giving the other girl her best dangerous glare. “And you’re still not getting my solo, so what exactly is your point?” She crossed her arms.
Rachel mirrored Santana’s expression. “My point is that if I don’t get that solo, I’ll make sure that Coach Sylvester knows exactly why you’re missing practice. I’m not sure how forgiving she’ll be once she learns that you lied about having a contagious disease so you could make out with your girlfriend.”
Santana did have to give the girl props. She could be a ruthless bitch if she wanted to be. It was almost too bad she wasn’t pretty or interesting enough to be a cheerleader.
Later she and Brittany, who had lost interest in having a duet with someone other than Santana, skipped glee again, and made out in the science lab. It was so much better than listening to Rachel bitch and moan during practice.
- - -
5.) “I’ll stand by you” Finn Hudson
Finn was laying on Rachel’s bed, looking at their newest assignment from Schuester. “I’ll Stand By You” by the Pretenders. It was one of Finn’s favorite songs, and Schuester had been pleased when he immediately volunteered for the solo, even managing to beat Rachel, though she said it was okay.
And yeah, so Beth hadn’t been his, but he still liked the song. He liked being the protector, the strong guy, the person people could turn to. And....he did totally rock the song.
“I still don’t know why you wanted to sing this.” Rachel said, and Finn looked up. His girlfriend was sitting in front of her vanity, facing the bed while she studied the sheet music with a frown. “I mean...not that you’re bad. It’s just usually you prefer...duets. With me.”
Finn shrugged. The truth was that Kurt had been upset lately and with Puck’s new job, the two of them really didn’t get to hang out...or date..or whatever it was the two of them did when they took off for a couple hours. So Finn had been trying to cheer him up, but Kurt had been keeping to himself when he was feeling bad, saying he didn’t want Finn worrying over nothing.
Okay, so singing ballads hadn’t really worked last time, but Finn knew Kurt liked the song, He kept catching Kurt absently playing parts of it on the piano when the group fooled around before glee’s practice, and he always had this little smile on his face like he was remembering something.
Finn wondered if Kurt remembered the night he was having a nightmare and Finn sang “I’ll stand by you” to his sleeping brother. He wasn’t sure if Kurt had woken up, he had been pretty drugged up on some anti-anxiety meds.
“I don’t know” Finn said. “Kurt likes it, and I figure it might cheer him up.”
“You’re going to sing this to Kurt?” Rachel looked puzzled.
“...yes? Why, do you think it’s a bad idea?” Finn asked.
With a smile Rachel moved to the bed, settling down beside her boyfriend. “Oh Finn, you’re so sweet, but you know how Kurt is. He hates being fussed over. He wouldn’t want you making a scene.”
“Yeah. I guess you’re right”. He wouldn’t want to freak out Kurt. And it was kind of creepy when people sang to him.
Rachel snuggled down to his side. “I’ll help you figure out something to do for him. Why don’t you let me have the solo this time? You need someone to stand by you too. And when I sing, you’ll know I’m singing just for you.”
“....sure.” Finn agreed. He really did have a great girlfriend. She thought of all the little stuff, and she was pretty awesome, when she wasn’t going crazy about music and singing and choreography.
Plus it would be kind of hard to sing that without weirding Kurt out. Maybe he could take him bowling or something.
- - -
6.)”Don’t Rain on My Parade” Everyone But Rachel
Rachel was ecstatic. Principal Figgins had asked the Glee Club to perform at Parent/Teacher Night, and Mr. Schuester had suggested they revisit the Barbara Streisand classic that had won them sectionals. He had only mentioned it at the end of practice, but promised they would jump right in at the next rehearsal.
This was going to be great. She hummed the opening bars as she she strolled into the choir room, a little late, but she had made sure to advise Mr. Schuester of the fact that she would be behind schedule.
“Rachel.” The teacher greeted her, sounding serious, “Have a seat.”
The rest of the glee club was sitting quietly in their chairs, looking somber.
Alarmed she glanced around. Usually those kind of looks meant 1 of 3 things.
One. The cheerleaders were in trouble with Coach Sylvester, But Brittany and Santana were both sitting on the front row, looking a little angry, but fine.
Two. Kurt was having a serious panic attack again. The serious ones were pretty rare but they still shook everyone up. Kurt was sitting beside Puck looking calm, his fingers resting lightly on his boyfriend’s thigh, as if Puck were some sort of service dog. Puck was glaring.
Three. The bullies had been particularly vicious. She looked around, but there weren’t any obvious signs of slushies or dumpster dives, and she would have heard earlier. They had a pretty good communication system for that sort of thing.
So, really, she had no idea why everyone looked so upset.
“What’s wrong?” She asked.
Mr. Schuester gestured to the chair, and she noticed that it faced the rest of the glee club. “Take a seat.” He repeated.
Rachel did so, tucking her skirt around her legs anxiously. She looked up at Finn, hoping for some reassurance, but he looked down, refusing to meet her eye. She turned back to the teacher.
With a sigh, Mr Schuester pulled the piano bench over, sitting off to the side. “Before we begin working on our Parent/Teacher set, I think we need to have an honest talk. as a group. We began rehearsal by discussing our ideas for arrangements and solos for “Don’t Rain on my Parade.-”
“Oh.” Rachel interrupted, relieved. “Don’t worry. I’ve been practicing since our last class, It will be a cake walk.”
“Actually Rachel, I never said you were going to be singing the solo.”
“Well you didn’t have to. I mean, this is *my* song. I won regionals with this song. You can’t take this solo away from me!”
“No one is taking the solo from you Rachel. In fact there’s going to be 12 solos. Everyone is going to get a chance to express themselves, and their own style.”
“You can’t do that! You don’t understand. It’s my song!” Rachel was horrified. 12 solos! The song would be butchered.
“And I think you just found the topic for our discussion. We-” Schue waved a hand to include himself, and the 11 glee members. “were tossing around ideas about who should sing the solo, and some very interesting patterns started to come to light. It seems that more often than not you end up with the solos.”
“Well naturally, I mean-”
“Even solos that weren’t originally yours.” Mr Schuester interrupted her. “And I let it slide, because I assumed there were good reason for the changes. If I had known how you were managing to get those extra solos...” he let his voice trail off into a disappointed look.
“I- I don’t understand.” Rachel murmured, smoothing her skirt again.
“He means you’re a psychotic bitch.” Puck growled, though he was shushed quietly by an amused looking Kurt.
“It’s been brought to my attention that you have been bullying, harassing, and lying to your fellow glee members in order to take over their solos.” Schuester steepled his fingers, his voice suddenly very serious. “Now, I’m not accusing you of anything. But we can’t have that kind of behavior in this group, and I’d like to hear what you have to say.”
Rachel lifted her chin. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I would never do anything that wasn’t for the group’s best interests. ...And I didn’t bully anyone.”
“You threatened to get me in trouble with Coach Sylvester if I didn’t let you have my solo.” Santana was the first to speak.
Brittany nodded “She was going to get us in trouble for making out instead of going to practice.”
Schuester’s eyebrows twitched. “Um...okay. Rachel?”
“I-I-” Rachel stuttered. It sounded bad when they put it that way. “I thought it would be best if I sang. They’re both good but I’m more dedicated. We all know that. I didn’t think they really cared.”
“Rachel, did you threaten Santana so that you could sing her solo?” Schuester asked simply.
“Yes.” She mumbled.
“And what about my solo?” Mercedes asked. “We all know you were the one who complained to Figgins about it because it wasn’t your style.”
“I didn’t!” Rachel protested. “...My dad’s did. and I asked them to. I just thought...well the songs I choose are more appropriate, and...” She looked up at the other girl, seeing the hurt on her face.
“Do you know how much that solo meant to me? I finally got the chance to sing a song, a song I really liked. And you ruined that.”
“I’m sorry.” Rachel said quietly, meaning it. She had never really taken the time to think about how Mercedes would feel, how any of them would feel.
“Ask her what she did to get my song.” Puck sneered, and Rachel felt her face flame with embarrassment. She shook her head.
“Go on. Tell them.” Puck goaded, and when it became obvious that she wouldn’t he answered himself. “She offered to let me get to second base. ”
Everyone turned to look at Kurt, who just shrugged. “He’s Puck. He gropes things. Usually he just has better taste.” he gave Rachel an unimpressed once over.
“Pretty cheap date though.” Puck added and Rachel had never felt more humiliated in her life.
Schuester gave Puck a warning look, then rubbed his temple. “So that adds... bribery and sabotage to the list. Anyone else?”
“She made me have a panic attack.” Kurt said simply, and Rachel took the time to really look at him. His usual frosty persona had slipped a little, an he was picking at the skin on his knuckles again, looking at the floor. Puck reached out lightly, taking the smaller teen’s shaking hand in his.
Rachel thought back to the day she saw him, tied up to the flag pole, so scared. She had told herself it was for his own good, for the group’s good, and she wasn’t really going to scare him that badly. But she knew.
“Kurt-” she said softly. “oh Kurt. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I never meant...” She couldn’t finish.
Finn cleared his throat. “I wanted to sing ‘I’ll Stand by You’ for...someone” he glanced at Kurt, and Rachel’s heart dropped as she saw Kurt smile shakily at him, mouthing and astonished ‘really?’. Finn nodded and smiled back, then looked at Rachel.
“Did you tell me not to sing, because you were trying to help me, or because you wanted the solo?”
“I wanted to sing for you, Finn.” She pleaded.
Finn shook his head. “No you didn’t. The only person you were thinking about was yourself.” He sounded hurt and disappointed.
Rachel felt like she was in shock. She had been able to rationalize everything to herself, each little bit of tinkering or ..no. there weren’t really any good words for it. She hadn’t been tinkering, or nudging, or helping. He had been manipulative and petty, a... slut. She had terrorized Kurt.
Looking around the room she took the time to see each person individually, see the anger and pain.
She had hurt all of them, the people she considered friends, run them over and stole their spotlights, and she had convinced herself it was okay, that sacrifices had to be made for success and fame. It hit her like a brick.
She felt horrible.
“I’m sorry.” Rachel said again.
The silence stretched on.
She felt tears pooling in the corners of her eyes.
With a deep sigh, Mr. Schuester broke the silence, leaning forward into his seat.
“We can’t have that type of behavior in here. There are 12 members of New Directions, and maybe some of it’s my fault. I know in the past I was willing to have “stars”. But I was wrong, and I hope all 12 of you can forgive me for unintentionally excluding any one of you. I’ve been working to stop that and I know that you won’t let it happen any more.” He cracked a small smile, and there was scattered, hollow, laughter. Mike and Matt were both nodding in agreement.
“But Rachel,” He continued. “What you did was very much intentional, and hurtful. You had friends here, that you hurt badly and took advantage of. You let your need to be the star overshadow your responsibility as a team member, to support your fellow students, and to be happy for them when they got to shine.”
Rachel nodded, her lips trembling slightly.
“And unfortunately, that behavior does have consequences. You know my policy is to never turn anyone away who auditions. But we can’t have someone in the group whose sole purpose is to sabotage and humiliate the other members. It’s not a healthy situation, for anyone, and it’s not what glee club should be about. Vocal Adrenaline has enough of that attitude for 5 show choirs.”
Rachel felt sick. “Are you- are you kicking me out of glee?”
“No. I’m not.” Mr. Schuester said. “But it is my responsibility to provide a safe environment for my students... So it’s their decision. If you stay, there will have to be some major changes. If they don’t feel comfortable...”
Rachel glanced up at her fellow glee members, but they were all watching her steadily. They had already decided.
“Mr. Schue?” Surprisingly it was Kurt who spoke up. “I can’t speak for everyone, but...I think there might be some middle ground.” The teen stared at Rachel for a moment and she struggled to hold his gaze, but apparently Kurt was satisfied with what he saw.
“I think she’s learned a really important lesson.” he gave her a slight smile, just the corners of his mouth twitching, “It’d be kind of hard not to, this is like one of the weirdest episodes of intervention I’ve seen. And that includes the one with the hair eater.”
Artie snorted, and Tina smacked his arm lightly.
“ Seriously. Hair. How disgusting is that?.” He shook his head. “Anyway, ‘ Don’t Rain on My Parade’ could be easily redone as 11 solos and and ensemble piece. If Rachel would agree to sit this performance out, and the rest of group agree of course-” Kurt’s eyes slid across the room, and heads began to nod slowly. “We can consider that her probationary period?” He looked at Mr. Schuester, shrugging. “It’s an option.”
Rachel held her breath.
Mr. Schue looked surprised. “That..that sounds like a wonderful idea. Thank you Kurt. Does everyone else agree to that arrangement? Show of hands.” he raised his own, and one by one, each of the 11 students lifted theirs. Puck was the last with what sounded suspiciously like a growl, and a subtle nudge from Kurt.
“Can I say something?” Rachel asked tentatively, and Mr. Schue nodded.
Rachel took a breath. “I just wanted to say... I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was stupid, and mean, and self centered... more than I usually am. I really am sorry, and thank you for giving me a second chance. I don’t know what I can do to make it up to all of you-”
“Cookies?” Finn asked hopefully, perking up, and that broke the tension, soon the entire room had dissolved into laughter, followed by a giggling and slightly sniffly group hug, kurt carefully wedged between Finn and Puck near the edge.
“All right guys!” Mr. Schue finally said, breaking them up. He patted Rachel on the shoulder and gave her an encouraging smile. “I think we’re just going to wing it today. Mike, come up here and show us what you got.”