off to the unknown...
my flight leaves for miami in about 7 hours... from there i wait around for about 4 hours, and then depart of nicaragua.
i should be scared, but i'm kind of numb. literally. my left hand keeps losing feeling. i'm not exactly sure what that's about. perhaps i'm having a heart attack, as that's what numbness on the left side usually signifies. or perhaps it's a physical manifestation of my nerves. i've been getting a lot of physical symptoms for emotional issues this week. i guess i'll find out in the near future, although i must admit that i'm hoping it's the latter option. i think 20 is a little too young to suffer from a heart attack, especially since i try to remain relatively healthy...
i'm still not packed. mostly everything is on my dining room table waiting to be put into little plastic bags and eventually crammed into my overly large backpack. i also need to make the rest of the cd's i'm bringing with me.
6 weeks away is a very long time. i've never been away from new york city for so long. is it bad that i know i won't miss my family terribly much, but that i will be aching for my friends within the first few hours? although, i must admit that i am glad to be getting away. i have way too much going on inside my head right now, and i'm hoping to be able to work through most of it and sort it out before i return home july 31st. it isn't helping that i finally started reading prozac nation yesturday. i'm almost finished with it, and find myself relating to the narrator far too often. and, funny enough, nicaragua is even mentioned. however, she says that she would never be strong enough to go and spend over a month there. perhaps the fact that i actually am means that there's hope for me yet...
i spoke to maddie today... we wished each other luck. i also briefly spoke to maegen, monica, and my brother. i didn't get a chance to call omari, but i'll and call him from the airport while i'm waiting for my connection flight. i'd also like to call mike, as i'm not going to email him, and he's not online at the moment. i can leave him one last long and pointless voicemail. i'm still undecided on that though.
the next 6 months are going to fly by. i just hope that i'm ready to handle it all. 6 weeks in nicaragua, doing probably the most challenging work i've ever done, while living in a foreign culture and only speaking the language marginally well. then almost 3 weeks home. camp. a day home. london. 3 and a half months of the most insane time i may ever live.
but for now, i must prepare for these next 6 weeks.
peace and love,
allison
i should be scared, but i'm kind of numb. literally. my left hand keeps losing feeling. i'm not exactly sure what that's about. perhaps i'm having a heart attack, as that's what numbness on the left side usually signifies. or perhaps it's a physical manifestation of my nerves. i've been getting a lot of physical symptoms for emotional issues this week. i guess i'll find out in the near future, although i must admit that i'm hoping it's the latter option. i think 20 is a little too young to suffer from a heart attack, especially since i try to remain relatively healthy...
i'm still not packed. mostly everything is on my dining room table waiting to be put into little plastic bags and eventually crammed into my overly large backpack. i also need to make the rest of the cd's i'm bringing with me.
6 weeks away is a very long time. i've never been away from new york city for so long. is it bad that i know i won't miss my family terribly much, but that i will be aching for my friends within the first few hours? although, i must admit that i am glad to be getting away. i have way too much going on inside my head right now, and i'm hoping to be able to work through most of it and sort it out before i return home july 31st. it isn't helping that i finally started reading prozac nation yesturday. i'm almost finished with it, and find myself relating to the narrator far too often. and, funny enough, nicaragua is even mentioned. however, she says that she would never be strong enough to go and spend over a month there. perhaps the fact that i actually am means that there's hope for me yet...
i spoke to maddie today... we wished each other luck. i also briefly spoke to maegen, monica, and my brother. i didn't get a chance to call omari, but i'll and call him from the airport while i'm waiting for my connection flight. i'd also like to call mike, as i'm not going to email him, and he's not online at the moment. i can leave him one last long and pointless voicemail. i'm still undecided on that though.
the next 6 months are going to fly by. i just hope that i'm ready to handle it all. 6 weeks in nicaragua, doing probably the most challenging work i've ever done, while living in a foreign culture and only speaking the language marginally well. then almost 3 weeks home. camp. a day home. london. 3 and a half months of the most insane time i may ever live.
but for now, i must prepare for these next 6 weeks.
peace and love,
allison