(no subject)
i wish he would just die. stop breaking my heart over and over again. i am not even really involved anymore. i withdrew myself. now christianna can handle him. i hate him. i hate him because i wish i didn't love him. i hate him for what he does. to me. to my family. to himself. my parents started locking the doors again so i knew something was up. i asked. why i ask ever i don't know. i hate knowing. it just brings me back to that place. i hate myself for feeling guilty. i hate myself for caring. i hate myself for wishing he were dead.