[2015-2016] You're a bedtime story, the one that keeps the curtains closed
I've been meaning to get around to doing this for a long time now, so here's the first of a series of posts detailing what I've been up to for the past ... [looks through LJ and DW] over ... five ... years.
O_O;
All right, if I don't start writing these now they'll never get done, so here we go.
[2015 - 2016] || [2017 - 2018] || [2019 - 2020] || [NOW]
Previously on
quadruplify:
WORK
The "Autism Job Club" never worked nearly as well as I would've liked. The big problem was that there was a lot of turnover in the people that were showing up, and there were very few people who were actually coming consistently from month to month. This meant that most of the meetings were taken up by people introducing themselves and talking about the problems they were having finding what they wanted to do with their lives, looking for jobs, and keeping jobs if they managed to get them -- a lot of complaining and commiserating, but very little educating or problem-solving. After a few months of this, the executive director (who had been observing the meetings I was running) pulled me into her office one day and told me she met with two other staff members to develop a curriculum for the Job Club, and that she was arranging to have me work with one of them to have me teach it moving forward.
On one hand, I understood where she was coming from -- the kinds of things I wanted the Job Club to be and do weren't materializing, nobody was learning or doing anything with it (particularly concerning since some of them were traveling from the other side of the state to attend), and she saw this as something that could potentially affect the organization's reputation and "brand." On the other hand, I was extremely pissed off by how she handled the issue. She didn't include me in this meeting with the two other staff members -- hell, I didn't even know it happened until she told me -- which came across as though she didn't think I had the intelligence or ability to participate in this kind of planning process, or that I knew what I was doing. Of course, looking back on it now it's true I didn't know what I was doing, but given how I had proved myself to her working there for two and a half years at that point it still hurt. I know she didn't mean to come across that way, but when I told her this I felt she was a little too dismissive. Plus, I specifically envisioned the Job Club to not be just another class or course to teach people skills -- but, again, I didn't have a clear vision of what I did want it to be.
Work was going downhill around this time overall -- morale went down after the employment pilot project failed, there was a lot of turnover in the staff, the organization as a whole was making less money, and I wasn't getting any new responsibilities or moving up in any meaningful way. It was around November of 2015 when I heard about an event the following month in Cheshire called "Party With a Purpose." A woman was starting a new nonprofit aimed at helping young people on the Asperger's end of the autism spectrum, and was looking for other local nonprofits to participate. She envisioned it as a kind of holiday networking party where representatives from each of the nonprofits would promote their organizations and even put on a kind of "talent show"; these "acts" would be voted on by everyone else at the event, and the organization with the most votes would receive a $1,000 donation. When I called the woman to follow up and find out more, she talked my ear off for about an hour -- but I really liked what she had to say. I really felt like I finally found someone who "got it" -- someone who understood what I was trying to do with the Job Club, someone who had fresh and interesting ideas and not the stale, stuck-in-the-past ones like where I was working at the time. By the time we found out about Party With a Purpose, it was practically too late for our nonprofit to participate, but I was still so intrigued that I bought a ticket to attend anyway; the executive director bought one as well, mainly because of how interested I was.
The party was at a small cocktail bar in Cheshire that has since gone out of business. It got crowded pretty quickly, and I had a hard time interacting with some of the other people that were there; my work's executive director, who came separately, had to help me out with some of that. But I did get to meet the woman in charge of the new nonprofit, who told me a little more about where she was coming from and what she was trying to do. She had a son with Asperger's who was an amateur app developer and even self-published a children's book about Asperger's (which the woman gave me a copy of); unfortunately, he died a few years prior, and she set up the nonprofit in his memory. I also met the new nonprofit's marketing director, H., who left her job working with special education students in the town's school system to be a part of this. Before she left, my work's executive director told me she never got a good sense of what the new nonprofit actually did -- i.e. what it's programs and initiatives were, who was actually being helped/served, etc. -- but at this point it didn't bother me too much because they were still new and I had a really good feeling about them after meeting the two individuals who were a part of it. Despite everything, I actually enjoyed myself overall -- mostly because I really liked the hors d'oeuvres. XD
(BTW, it was around this time I lost my work-at-home job as well. I was somewhat late with a couple of my assignments, but eventually I figured out it was because I was "costing them too much." Apparently when the job description said it would take five hours a week, they didn't mention it was supposed to be only five hours a week. So yeah -- it stung, but looking back it was for the best.)
While I was working with a staff member to "retool" the Job Club, in February I started taking Partners in Policymaking, a leadership training program where people learn about disability issues like special education, employment, and the Americans with Disabilities Act, as well as how to lobby legislators and work toward political change. It met at a hotel in Rocky Hill, on a Friday and Saturday once a month from February to September; participants are required to prepare a three-minute speech every session, as well as complete an advocacy project that creates tangible change in the community. I signed up because a.) it didn't cost anything, and b.) I thought this would help me with the Job Club.
It was around the same time, though, that I agreed to meet with the two people from the new nonprofit in Cheshire outside of work -- and we really hit it off. What was supposed to be an hour-long meeting at a coffee shop turned into nearly six hours of talking about our shared goals and values, going over all the great things they were planning on doing, and touring their office. It went so well that a few more meetings and conversations later, I put in my two-week's notice at work.
Big mistake.
Not that it seemed that way initially. At my first week there (sometime in mid-March) the woman who ran the nonprofit rented out the cocktail bar to hold a private party just to celebrate my arrival. Yes, she actually did all the work to do that for me. My family was invited, of course, as was the organization's board, as well as other people the head of the nonprofit and H. invited. And that wasn't all -- she also gave me a work laptop and Wi-Fi hotspot! And business cards! And a $1,200 sign-on bonus! And a higher hourly wage than I had ever made before! So not only was my ego well-inflated at this point, I was feeling really good about leaving ASRC overall -- the director yelled at me one day because I expressed my displeasure at one of her dumb-ass jokes, and although I was going to miss everyone else there, in my mind I was all, "Good fucking riddance!"
That didn't last long. It became very clear to me almost immediately that the woman had absolutely no freakin' idea what she was doing. Even though I had the title of "manager," I didn't end up managing anything -- it was this extremely annoying situation where she wanted 110% control over everything that happened, but what she envisioned the organization to be and what she wanted it to do changed by the minute, and she expected H. and I to go along with her whims without questioning. Otherwise, she'd challenge you and challenge you and challenge you until you gave in. She wanted the nonprofit to be somehow different from others doing similar things, but whenever she had an idea that was more concrete than that, it was always something that would either just make her look good or would be less empowering for young people with Asperger's than what was already out there. (In retrospect, it was kind of the same problem I had with the Job Club.) I liked her idea of working with these people on a one-on-one basis so as to tailor our interventions to their unique needs instead of creating a "one-size-fits-all" program, but I never worked with a single client during my time there. One minute she would talk about filing for 501(c)3 status, then the next she would say we didn't need it (newsflash: yes you do!), etc. etc. etc. (And don't get me started on her weird and condescending opinions about millennials.)
This doesn't mean the entire time I worked there was a complete bust, though. H. and I went to an event in Fairfield County where a new consulting business (that has also since shut down) that would work with families of children with disabilities one-on-one to get them connected to information and resources in the community was holding a networking event for parents and service providers -- basically a way for parents to meet therapists, psychologists, etc. in an informal environment, without their kids, where they can just talk. It was actually a rather nifty idea, and I liked it there, even though we were supposed to be there to "promote" the nonprofit.
The nicest thing that happened, though, was in the beginning of April. Every year for Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month, the La Grua Center in Stonington hosts an exhibitions that showcases art made by young people with autism. Even though it was an hour's drive away, the three of us decided to go, then have dinner at a nice restaurant while we were there; the head of the nonprofit decided to bring her daughter along without telling us beforehand. =_=; The place itself was very nice, but it was a small event where the artists were all local to the area, and none of what was on display was anything to write home about. Well, except for one artist...
These are all watercolor pieces -- one of the hardest kinds of paint to work with -- from an 18-year-old with autism. O_O;
Long story short, our organization decided to host an art show for him and his mother, who's also a painter. We booked a place to hold it and made up promotional materials...
...but by the middle of April, I had already quit. I only lasted a month.
The job was a shitshow, from start to finish. Despite everything I just mentioned, I spent the overwhelming majority of my time at the office twiddling my thumbs and doing nothing. Which was fine, I suppose -- I'd much rather have that than be overworked -- but it still wasn't fun at all. The head of the "nonprofit" thought she knew what she was doing because she's a CPA who does the books for a nonprofit, but even I knew she didn't. It all came to a head when she yelled at me for some stupid shit I don't even remember -- she gave me an ultimatum, and I called her bluff by quitting on the spot. So I was persona non grata at the art show the following month, which was a shame, but H. later told me the mother and son made quite a bit of money and the "nonprofit" didn't take a cut of any of it, so that turned out well.
H. quit a couple of months later, and we stayed in touch on and off over the next few years. This is going to be important later on.
Now that I was newly unemployed, I could spend more time focusing on Partners in Policymaking -- which turned out to be life-changing. I learned tons about disability issues and the disability rights movement -- I often left sessions with my brain feeling overloaded and overwhelmed with so much stuff I needed time to process. Not only was it thought-provoking, though, it boosted my confidence in so many ways, such as with public speaking (even though my three-minute speeches were never spectacular) and working with legislators. That last part was really interesting -- we went to the state Legislative Office Building to have mock lobbying meetings with actual legislators; we were then given feedback on how well we did and then had lunch with them afterward. As for the final project I had to do, I originally wanted to start a peer mentoring program at a local college, as I think that sort of thing would've helped me immensely when I was in college. However, I would've been biting off more than I could chew, and when a promising lead fell through, my faculty advisor helped me pivot to creating a presentation for high school students with disabilities about how to advocate for yourself in college -- something that I also would have really helped me had I gone to something like that. I only presented it once, at my old high school; I've basically ignored it since, even though it definitely needs retooling, because it just hasn't been that big of a priority.
The most important thing that came out of Partners, however, was joining the Connecticut Council on Developmental Disabilities. One of the other "faculty" slipped me an application during one of the last few sessions; she worked there and was really impressed with me and wanted to have younger people on the Council. Basically the Council functions like a nonprofit, except run by the state; there's paid staff, and the Council acts something like a board of directors. Every state and territory is mandated by federal law to have a DD Council; its main focus is to fund and work on projects that create structural change to make people with disabilities' lives easier and more fulfilling -- things like advocacy programs like Partners, youth programs, educating and training service providers on various things, etc. (I'll explain more about what this Council has been working on in the next post.) I was a bit hesitant about this, naturally, because it meets during the day on the second Tuesday every other month and I didn't know how much of a time and energy commitment it would be. Nonetheless, I applied, was interviewed for a spot on the Council, and I got in! The first meeting I attended was that November; I still had to be approved by the state governor(!), so I wasn't "official" yet and therefore couldn't vote on anything, but this was also a really positive experience -- like I was finally taking on an important responsibility and doing Super Important Things™ with my life.
PERSONAL
In October 2015, my dad was hospitalized. He took a nap one evening and woke up being seriously short of breath, to the point where he had to ask me to call 911. I forget how long he was in the hospital for, but essentially it was found to be due to a problem with the mitral valve in his heart. He had had a heart murmur for a long time, but he ignored it because he didn't think it was a big deal and he really doesn't like doctors. He did find himself losing energy and breath more often the previous few years, and this problem wasn't going to get better on its own, so he decided to have open heart surgery in January, just to get it over and done with.
What made this complicated, though, was that my grandmother's dementia was slowly but steadily getting worse, to the point where he needed to help move her around so she could be taken care of. With him laid up for a few months, the rest of us weren't able and/or willing to move her, clean her, etc. without risking hurting ourselves, so we finally had to get home health aides to do much of the work, at least in the mornings.
My dad turned out very well; he needed a triple bypass in addition to the open heart surgery, and he was in the hospital for a few days, but the rest of the family were able to take care of things and he was all but fully recovered by April. ^_^
And then, of course, in June my family adopted Harper:
These were all from a few years ago -- I'm sorry I don't have anything more recent, but except for the first picture (taken when she first came home) she hasn't changed all that much. She's very high energy -- she's a black lab/border collie mix, after all -- but she's quite intelligent and friendly to just about everyone she meets. I was a tad bit upset because I was at Partners when my family decided to adopt her on the spot, but I've, uh ... shall we say ... grown used to her quite a bit. XD
Otherwise not much else was going on in my life at this time. After quitting the job in Cheshire, I was applying to jobs with little success. I even worked with a career coach who specializes in autism for a brief bit during this time; I was able to focus a bit better on what I wanted to do for a career, and I gained a lot more confidence in interviewing other people to learn more about different jobs and professions, but otherwise I didn't find my work with her extremely helpful (even though I would still highly recommend her to others) and only had a few one-on-one sessions with her because it was getting expensive.
I also went to a few concerts as well; in September 2015 I went with K. to see Low (for a second time!) in Hamden, and a few days later I saw The Jesus and Mary Chain at a then-new venue in New Haven called College Street Music Hall. I didn't enjoy that concert as much, unfortunately -- not because the band was terrible (far from it, in fact) but because K. couldn't go with me, and I wasn't feeling all that well myself, so I couldn't get really "into it" as much as I otherwise would have (I did like that they had actual seats and I was able to sit down, though). Then a year later I saw Miike Snow at College Street; they were a band I'd been interested in on and off for a number of years prior, but I really wanted to see them because it was the year they came out with this absolute gem:
It was also the year I started going to the Made in Connecticut Expo ... but at this point this entry is already way too long, so I'll stop here. ._.,
[NEXT >>]
Originally posted at https://quadruplify.dreamwidth.org/141763.html || Comments on original post:
O_O;
All right, if I don't start writing these now they'll never get done, so here we go.
[2015 - 2016] || [2017 - 2018] || [2019 - 2020] || [NOW]
Click to viewPreviously on
quadruplify:
- My workplace was putting together an employment pilot program for young adults with autism. It didn't go well.
- I was in the process of putting together an "Autism Job Club" at my workplace.
- I did a work evaluation for my state's vocational rehabilitation agency. That didn't go well, and I stopped working with them.
- I got a part-time work-at-home job and had a few other interviews, some of which were ... interesting.
- I stopped seeing therapists for the time being.
- A close friend of mine from college had been in prison.
- I got a new MacBook (which I'm still using), my cousin graduated college, and my sister graduated high school.
WORK
The "Autism Job Club" never worked nearly as well as I would've liked. The big problem was that there was a lot of turnover in the people that were showing up, and there were very few people who were actually coming consistently from month to month. This meant that most of the meetings were taken up by people introducing themselves and talking about the problems they were having finding what they wanted to do with their lives, looking for jobs, and keeping jobs if they managed to get them -- a lot of complaining and commiserating, but very little educating or problem-solving. After a few months of this, the executive director (who had been observing the meetings I was running) pulled me into her office one day and told me she met with two other staff members to develop a curriculum for the Job Club, and that she was arranging to have me work with one of them to have me teach it moving forward.
On one hand, I understood where she was coming from -- the kinds of things I wanted the Job Club to be and do weren't materializing, nobody was learning or doing anything with it (particularly concerning since some of them were traveling from the other side of the state to attend), and she saw this as something that could potentially affect the organization's reputation and "brand." On the other hand, I was extremely pissed off by how she handled the issue. She didn't include me in this meeting with the two other staff members -- hell, I didn't even know it happened until she told me -- which came across as though she didn't think I had the intelligence or ability to participate in this kind of planning process, or that I knew what I was doing. Of course, looking back on it now it's true I didn't know what I was doing, but given how I had proved myself to her working there for two and a half years at that point it still hurt. I know she didn't mean to come across that way, but when I told her this I felt she was a little too dismissive. Plus, I specifically envisioned the Job Club to not be just another class or course to teach people skills -- but, again, I didn't have a clear vision of what I did want it to be.
Work was going downhill around this time overall -- morale went down after the employment pilot project failed, there was a lot of turnover in the staff, the organization as a whole was making less money, and I wasn't getting any new responsibilities or moving up in any meaningful way. It was around November of 2015 when I heard about an event the following month in Cheshire called "Party With a Purpose." A woman was starting a new nonprofit aimed at helping young people on the Asperger's end of the autism spectrum, and was looking for other local nonprofits to participate. She envisioned it as a kind of holiday networking party where representatives from each of the nonprofits would promote their organizations and even put on a kind of "talent show"; these "acts" would be voted on by everyone else at the event, and the organization with the most votes would receive a $1,000 donation. When I called the woman to follow up and find out more, she talked my ear off for about an hour -- but I really liked what she had to say. I really felt like I finally found someone who "got it" -- someone who understood what I was trying to do with the Job Club, someone who had fresh and interesting ideas and not the stale, stuck-in-the-past ones like where I was working at the time. By the time we found out about Party With a Purpose, it was practically too late for our nonprofit to participate, but I was still so intrigued that I bought a ticket to attend anyway; the executive director bought one as well, mainly because of how interested I was.
The party was at a small cocktail bar in Cheshire that has since gone out of business. It got crowded pretty quickly, and I had a hard time interacting with some of the other people that were there; my work's executive director, who came separately, had to help me out with some of that. But I did get to meet the woman in charge of the new nonprofit, who told me a little more about where she was coming from and what she was trying to do. She had a son with Asperger's who was an amateur app developer and even self-published a children's book about Asperger's (which the woman gave me a copy of); unfortunately, he died a few years prior, and she set up the nonprofit in his memory. I also met the new nonprofit's marketing director, H., who left her job working with special education students in the town's school system to be a part of this. Before she left, my work's executive director told me she never got a good sense of what the new nonprofit actually did -- i.e. what it's programs and initiatives were, who was actually being helped/served, etc. -- but at this point it didn't bother me too much because they were still new and I had a really good feeling about them after meeting the two individuals who were a part of it. Despite everything, I actually enjoyed myself overall -- mostly because I really liked the hors d'oeuvres. XD
(BTW, it was around this time I lost my work-at-home job as well. I was somewhat late with a couple of my assignments, but eventually I figured out it was because I was "costing them too much." Apparently when the job description said it would take five hours a week, they didn't mention it was supposed to be only five hours a week. So yeah -- it stung, but looking back it was for the best.)
While I was working with a staff member to "retool" the Job Club, in February I started taking Partners in Policymaking, a leadership training program where people learn about disability issues like special education, employment, and the Americans with Disabilities Act, as well as how to lobby legislators and work toward political change. It met at a hotel in Rocky Hill, on a Friday and Saturday once a month from February to September; participants are required to prepare a three-minute speech every session, as well as complete an advocacy project that creates tangible change in the community. I signed up because a.) it didn't cost anything, and b.) I thought this would help me with the Job Club.
It was around the same time, though, that I agreed to meet with the two people from the new nonprofit in Cheshire outside of work -- and we really hit it off. What was supposed to be an hour-long meeting at a coffee shop turned into nearly six hours of talking about our shared goals and values, going over all the great things they were planning on doing, and touring their office. It went so well that a few more meetings and conversations later, I put in my two-week's notice at work.
Big mistake.
Not that it seemed that way initially. At my first week there (sometime in mid-March) the woman who ran the nonprofit rented out the cocktail bar to hold a private party just to celebrate my arrival. Yes, she actually did all the work to do that for me. My family was invited, of course, as was the organization's board, as well as other people the head of the nonprofit and H. invited. And that wasn't all -- she also gave me a work laptop and Wi-Fi hotspot! And business cards! And a $1,200 sign-on bonus! And a higher hourly wage than I had ever made before! So not only was my ego well-inflated at this point, I was feeling really good about leaving ASRC overall -- the director yelled at me one day because I expressed my displeasure at one of her dumb-ass jokes, and although I was going to miss everyone else there, in my mind I was all, "Good fucking riddance!"
That didn't last long. It became very clear to me almost immediately that the woman had absolutely no freakin' idea what she was doing. Even though I had the title of "manager," I didn't end up managing anything -- it was this extremely annoying situation where she wanted 110% control over everything that happened, but what she envisioned the organization to be and what she wanted it to do changed by the minute, and she expected H. and I to go along with her whims without questioning. Otherwise, she'd challenge you and challenge you and challenge you until you gave in. She wanted the nonprofit to be somehow different from others doing similar things, but whenever she had an idea that was more concrete than that, it was always something that would either just make her look good or would be less empowering for young people with Asperger's than what was already out there. (In retrospect, it was kind of the same problem I had with the Job Club.) I liked her idea of working with these people on a one-on-one basis so as to tailor our interventions to their unique needs instead of creating a "one-size-fits-all" program, but I never worked with a single client during my time there. One minute she would talk about filing for 501(c)3 status, then the next she would say we didn't need it (newsflash: yes you do!), etc. etc. etc. (And don't get me started on her weird and condescending opinions about millennials.)
This doesn't mean the entire time I worked there was a complete bust, though. H. and I went to an event in Fairfield County where a new consulting business (that has also since shut down) that would work with families of children with disabilities one-on-one to get them connected to information and resources in the community was holding a networking event for parents and service providers -- basically a way for parents to meet therapists, psychologists, etc. in an informal environment, without their kids, where they can just talk. It was actually a rather nifty idea, and I liked it there, even though we were supposed to be there to "promote" the nonprofit.
The nicest thing that happened, though, was in the beginning of April. Every year for Autism Awareness/Acceptance Month, the La Grua Center in Stonington hosts an exhibitions that showcases art made by young people with autism. Even though it was an hour's drive away, the three of us decided to go, then have dinner at a nice restaurant while we were there; the head of the nonprofit decided to bring her daughter along without telling us beforehand. =_=; The place itself was very nice, but it was a small event where the artists were all local to the area, and none of what was on display was anything to write home about. Well, except for one artist...
These are all watercolor pieces -- one of the hardest kinds of paint to work with -- from an 18-year-old with autism. O_O;
Long story short, our organization decided to host an art show for him and his mother, who's also a painter. We booked a place to hold it and made up promotional materials...
...but by the middle of April, I had already quit. I only lasted a month.
The job was a shitshow, from start to finish. Despite everything I just mentioned, I spent the overwhelming majority of my time at the office twiddling my thumbs and doing nothing. Which was fine, I suppose -- I'd much rather have that than be overworked -- but it still wasn't fun at all. The head of the "nonprofit" thought she knew what she was doing because she's a CPA who does the books for a nonprofit, but even I knew she didn't. It all came to a head when she yelled at me for some stupid shit I don't even remember -- she gave me an ultimatum, and I called her bluff by quitting on the spot. So I was persona non grata at the art show the following month, which was a shame, but H. later told me the mother and son made quite a bit of money and the "nonprofit" didn't take a cut of any of it, so that turned out well.
H. quit a couple of months later, and we stayed in touch on and off over the next few years. This is going to be important later on.
Now that I was newly unemployed, I could spend more time focusing on Partners in Policymaking -- which turned out to be life-changing. I learned tons about disability issues and the disability rights movement -- I often left sessions with my brain feeling overloaded and overwhelmed with so much stuff I needed time to process. Not only was it thought-provoking, though, it boosted my confidence in so many ways, such as with public speaking (even though my three-minute speeches were never spectacular) and working with legislators. That last part was really interesting -- we went to the state Legislative Office Building to have mock lobbying meetings with actual legislators; we were then given feedback on how well we did and then had lunch with them afterward. As for the final project I had to do, I originally wanted to start a peer mentoring program at a local college, as I think that sort of thing would've helped me immensely when I was in college. However, I would've been biting off more than I could chew, and when a promising lead fell through, my faculty advisor helped me pivot to creating a presentation for high school students with disabilities about how to advocate for yourself in college -- something that I also would have really helped me had I gone to something like that. I only presented it once, at my old high school; I've basically ignored it since, even though it definitely needs retooling, because it just hasn't been that big of a priority.
The most important thing that came out of Partners, however, was joining the Connecticut Council on Developmental Disabilities. One of the other "faculty" slipped me an application during one of the last few sessions; she worked there and was really impressed with me and wanted to have younger people on the Council. Basically the Council functions like a nonprofit, except run by the state; there's paid staff, and the Council acts something like a board of directors. Every state and territory is mandated by federal law to have a DD Council; its main focus is to fund and work on projects that create structural change to make people with disabilities' lives easier and more fulfilling -- things like advocacy programs like Partners, youth programs, educating and training service providers on various things, etc. (I'll explain more about what this Council has been working on in the next post.) I was a bit hesitant about this, naturally, because it meets during the day on the second Tuesday every other month and I didn't know how much of a time and energy commitment it would be. Nonetheless, I applied, was interviewed for a spot on the Council, and I got in! The first meeting I attended was that November; I still had to be approved by the state governor(!), so I wasn't "official" yet and therefore couldn't vote on anything, but this was also a really positive experience -- like I was finally taking on an important responsibility and doing Super Important Things™ with my life.
PERSONAL
In October 2015, my dad was hospitalized. He took a nap one evening and woke up being seriously short of breath, to the point where he had to ask me to call 911. I forget how long he was in the hospital for, but essentially it was found to be due to a problem with the mitral valve in his heart. He had had a heart murmur for a long time, but he ignored it because he didn't think it was a big deal and he really doesn't like doctors. He did find himself losing energy and breath more often the previous few years, and this problem wasn't going to get better on its own, so he decided to have open heart surgery in January, just to get it over and done with.
What made this complicated, though, was that my grandmother's dementia was slowly but steadily getting worse, to the point where he needed to help move her around so she could be taken care of. With him laid up for a few months, the rest of us weren't able and/or willing to move her, clean her, etc. without risking hurting ourselves, so we finally had to get home health aides to do much of the work, at least in the mornings.
My dad turned out very well; he needed a triple bypass in addition to the open heart surgery, and he was in the hospital for a few days, but the rest of the family were able to take care of things and he was all but fully recovered by April. ^_^
And then, of course, in June my family adopted Harper:
These were all from a few years ago -- I'm sorry I don't have anything more recent, but except for the first picture (taken when she first came home) she hasn't changed all that much. She's very high energy -- she's a black lab/border collie mix, after all -- but she's quite intelligent and friendly to just about everyone she meets. I was a tad bit upset because I was at Partners when my family decided to adopt her on the spot, but I've, uh ... shall we say ... grown used to her quite a bit. XD
Otherwise not much else was going on in my life at this time. After quitting the job in Cheshire, I was applying to jobs with little success. I even worked with a career coach who specializes in autism for a brief bit during this time; I was able to focus a bit better on what I wanted to do for a career, and I gained a lot more confidence in interviewing other people to learn more about different jobs and professions, but otherwise I didn't find my work with her extremely helpful (even though I would still highly recommend her to others) and only had a few one-on-one sessions with her because it was getting expensive.
I also went to a few concerts as well; in September 2015 I went with K. to see Low (for a second time!) in Hamden, and a few days later I saw The Jesus and Mary Chain at a then-new venue in New Haven called College Street Music Hall. I didn't enjoy that concert as much, unfortunately -- not because the band was terrible (far from it, in fact) but because K. couldn't go with me, and I wasn't feeling all that well myself, so I couldn't get really "into it" as much as I otherwise would have (I did like that they had actual seats and I was able to sit down, though). Then a year later I saw Miike Snow at College Street; they were a band I'd been interested in on and off for a number of years prior, but I really wanted to see them because it was the year they came out with this absolute gem:
It was also the year I started going to the Made in Connecticut Expo ... but at this point this entry is already way too long, so I'll stop here. ._.,
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Originally posted at https://quadruplify.dreamwidth.org/141763.html || Comments on original post: