"Don't you know people write songs about girls like you?"
••• So my first year of NaNoWriMo...didn't go so well as I'd hoped. I know I vented/complained about this on Twitter, but I started losing focus big time around the weekend of the 17th and 18th, and it never really recovered. I just fell into another huge depressive rut where I was unmotivated to do anything except go to bed at 4 AM, stay in bed until 3 PM, and watch YouTube videos all day. Which is what I've essentially been doing the past couple of weeks. :PPP I don't know why I crashed as hard as I did; I just know that these things happen on a regular basis, usually a few weeks after I'm feeling relatively good, and sometimes the best thing to do is let those episodes play themselves out. So I hit about 39,000 words before the depression got too much and I called it quits.
I'm trying not to beat myself up over it, but mostly I just feel apathetic about not "winning," which isn't probably a good sign but it's a start, at least. I am proud of writing that much in that amount of time; I don't think I've done that before. Hopefully I'll pick it up again within the next week or so.
••• Thanksgiving went well in that it was pretty uneventful, nothing to write home about. My dad's mother came to our place for dinner as she usually does.
Speaking of her, though: She's been doing okay lately, but a couple of weeks ago the audio hallucinations got to the best of her again.What happened was that lately she got really fixated on one man who lives two doors down from her; she thought the voices in her head, the ones that make her believe her house is going to be robbed and firebombed at any given moment, were coming from him. A lot of the things she feels are going to be stolen don't have huge monetary value, but they do have sentimental value to her; these include a collection of stuffed animals. One day she put them all in a bag and left them on this man's front porch with a note, saying he could sell them and use the money for a trip to California, which was what she thought he was going to do. (She obviously didn't want to get rid of the stuffed animals, but she was also willing to do anything to get the voices in her head to stop, sort of like, "You want to take these things away from me? Fine, go take them! Just go away already!"). Then we found out that the man she was fixated on? His adopted daughter is friends with my sister. Long story short, my other grandmother got her stuffed animals back, we told her we knew the man and that he was okay, and she wised up.
As I've said, she's doing better now, but this isn't the first time she's wandered out of her house, and we've accepted that this situation (which we're pretty sure is a mild form of schizophrenia) is going to last for the rest of her life. As long as she keeps taking her meds and my dad makes sure nothing on TV triggers her, though, everything should be fine in the short term.
••• Other than my psoriasis being stubborn as usual, there's not much else that's been going on with me lately. Sorry for the mostly blah tone to this post, but hopefully I'll start feeling better soon. I'm also thinking about doing another Christmas card exchange this year, in case anyone's interested, but I'm not sure just yet.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with an Avatar/Night at the Roxbury mashup. It's totally an overplayed meme, but whatever, it's the best thing I've seen all week. XD
Originally posted at http://quadruplify.dreamwidth.org/132756.html || Comments on original post:
I'm trying not to beat myself up over it, but mostly I just feel apathetic about not "winning," which isn't probably a good sign but it's a start, at least. I am proud of writing that much in that amount of time; I don't think I've done that before. Hopefully I'll pick it up again within the next week or so.
••• Thanksgiving went well in that it was pretty uneventful, nothing to write home about. My dad's mother came to our place for dinner as she usually does.
Speaking of her, though: She's been doing okay lately, but a couple of weeks ago the audio hallucinations got to the best of her again.What happened was that lately she got really fixated on one man who lives two doors down from her; she thought the voices in her head, the ones that make her believe her house is going to be robbed and firebombed at any given moment, were coming from him. A lot of the things she feels are going to be stolen don't have huge monetary value, but they do have sentimental value to her; these include a collection of stuffed animals. One day she put them all in a bag and left them on this man's front porch with a note, saying he could sell them and use the money for a trip to California, which was what she thought he was going to do. (She obviously didn't want to get rid of the stuffed animals, but she was also willing to do anything to get the voices in her head to stop, sort of like, "You want to take these things away from me? Fine, go take them! Just go away already!"). Then we found out that the man she was fixated on? His adopted daughter is friends with my sister. Long story short, my other grandmother got her stuffed animals back, we told her we knew the man and that he was okay, and she wised up.
As I've said, she's doing better now, but this isn't the first time she's wandered out of her house, and we've accepted that this situation (which we're pretty sure is a mild form of schizophrenia) is going to last for the rest of her life. As long as she keeps taking her meds and my dad makes sure nothing on TV triggers her, though, everything should be fine in the short term.
••• Other than my psoriasis being stubborn as usual, there's not much else that's been going on with me lately. Sorry for the mostly blah tone to this post, but hopefully I'll start feeling better soon. I'm also thinking about doing another Christmas card exchange this year, in case anyone's interested, but I'm not sure just yet.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with an Avatar/Night at the Roxbury mashup. It's totally an overplayed meme, but whatever, it's the best thing I've seen all week. XD
Originally posted at http://quadruplify.dreamwidth.org/132756.html || Comments on original post: