(no subject)
im starting to realize things i should have realized a LONG time ago.
friends...i cant even define that word nemore.
actually..i can.
kalee.
shes the ONLY one who is truely there for me, no matter what.
shit could be going down at her house..or nething..and i know i can call her n she'd listen, she'd care.
unlike..alot of people.
yeah, you tell me you care but when it comes to it, you dont.
go ahead and say you do but ive been there. ive had problems and ive tried to talk to you about it. n then u sit there..as if its a competition to see whose hurt worse. thats NOT the point. the point is ur friend is hurting..and you completely disregaurd that fact. butt whatever. im really beginning not to care. deep down, i always will. but im going to do my best at letting myself not care. before..i could seriously say..yeah my friends care about me..but now..when i ask myself that. only kalee comes to mind. i mean yeah, i love all my friends, completely. its just..some of us need to learn how to b a friend first. you dont backstab, you dont lie, you DONT TALK SHIT about them.., the list could go on..and on.
its sad that some of you and i use to be so tight.
we could tell each other EVERYTHING..call each other everyday..acutally hang out.
but now..im lucky if some of you say a complete sentence to me in one day.
im lucky if you call, ever.
and the hanging out thing, its like im ur last option.
everyone else is busy, wanna hang out?
yahhh, that makes some people feel like shit.
im probabaly over-reacting about this whole entire situation..maybe not.
i miss the way all my friends got along. i miss..everything.
i miss spending everyday with amanda being stupid.
i miss getting drunk with ashley and driving around.
i miss talking to nikk.
i miss sarah actually wanting to hang out with me, and just me.
i miss, it all.
idk, its like..when some people get a bf/gf...im nothing to them.
i become invisible again.
there time is spent with them..and only them.
and yeah i sound like a 2year old whining. but its true, i hate it.
so bad.
idontknow..just everything, has changed.
but hey. they say people do grow apart.
i guess i didnt believe it, but now...i truely do.
and this entry isnt degrading ne of my friends.
you might take it that way, but its not meant to hurt neone.
its just me..expressing how im hurt..and how i feel.
so..if u want to get mad at me..well..i really cant do nething about that.
im not saying im perfect either.
i know im not, im FAR from it.
and yeah, i need to improve at alot of things too..
and im going to try to do that..
whateverr.
this entry is pointless.
i really want not to care, but i do.
and ill probably continue to...
friends...i cant even define that word nemore.
actually..i can.
kalee.
shes the ONLY one who is truely there for me, no matter what.
shit could be going down at her house..or nething..and i know i can call her n she'd listen, she'd care.
unlike..alot of people.
yeah, you tell me you care but when it comes to it, you dont.
go ahead and say you do but ive been there. ive had problems and ive tried to talk to you about it. n then u sit there..as if its a competition to see whose hurt worse. thats NOT the point. the point is ur friend is hurting..and you completely disregaurd that fact. butt whatever. im really beginning not to care. deep down, i always will. but im going to do my best at letting myself not care. before..i could seriously say..yeah my friends care about me..but now..when i ask myself that. only kalee comes to mind. i mean yeah, i love all my friends, completely. its just..some of us need to learn how to b a friend first. you dont backstab, you dont lie, you DONT TALK SHIT about them.., the list could go on..and on.
its sad that some of you and i use to be so tight.
we could tell each other EVERYTHING..call each other everyday..acutally hang out.
but now..im lucky if some of you say a complete sentence to me in one day.
im lucky if you call, ever.
and the hanging out thing, its like im ur last option.
everyone else is busy, wanna hang out?
yahhh, that makes some people feel like shit.
im probabaly over-reacting about this whole entire situation..maybe not.
i miss the way all my friends got along. i miss..everything.
i miss spending everyday with amanda being stupid.
i miss getting drunk with ashley and driving around.
i miss talking to nikk.
i miss sarah actually wanting to hang out with me, and just me.
i miss, it all.
idk, its like..when some people get a bf/gf...im nothing to them.
i become invisible again.
there time is spent with them..and only them.
and yeah i sound like a 2year old whining. but its true, i hate it.
so bad.
idontknow..just everything, has changed.
but hey. they say people do grow apart.
i guess i didnt believe it, but now...i truely do.
and this entry isnt degrading ne of my friends.
you might take it that way, but its not meant to hurt neone.
its just me..expressing how im hurt..and how i feel.
so..if u want to get mad at me..well..i really cant do nething about that.
im not saying im perfect either.
i know im not, im FAR from it.
and yeah, i need to improve at alot of things too..
and im going to try to do that..
whateverr.
this entry is pointless.
i really want not to care, but i do.
and ill probably continue to...