(no subject)
You know you're from Miami when...
>
>- you call flipflops chancletas
>- you wear chancletas EVERYWHERE
>- you can recognize a santero
>- you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go
>- the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light
>- you reminisce about booty music and can still dance to it
>- you get mad if the DJ doesn't play salsa, merengue, bachata, or reggaeton
>at a party
>- you buy your party food at Blue Sky
>- you know what a caja china is
>- you at least know the chorus to "Take it to da House"
>- you refer to your hometown as 305 or MIA
>- you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish
>- you know you can't really get anywhere without speaking Spanish
>- you only go to a Marlins, Heat, or Dolphins game if they're on a winning
>streak
>- you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in
>case
>-you hope for a hurricane to come so you don't have to go to work/school
>- you know only tourists go clubbing on South Beach
>- you spend your summer days inside cuz it's hot as hell
>outside...literally
>- you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore
>- you want to move out of Miami some day, but you say you'll come back
>- you know never to buy mangoes or avocados at a grocery store cuz u grow
>them in your backyard
>- you go to a store/business and the manager tells you "hablas espanol?"
>cuz they barely can speak english
>- you know how to drink a colada
>- you know your pastelitos
>- you realize that most of Miami is a ghetto
>- you know you have to be stupid or white to go to UM
>- all you did in high school is study for the FCAT
>- you know that Argentineans make the best steak for the best prices
>- you bump into Trick Daddy everywhere
>- your ride is pimped out buy your house is a shit hole
>- you know to be out of Downtown by 6 pm
>- you have to wait 4 hours for a bus to come that's supposed to come by
>ever 30 minutes
>- it's 60 degrees outside and you wear a sweater, a jacket, gloves, a
>scarf, a hat, and boots
>- you call Farm Stores La Vaquita
>- you know the only time there's no traffic on the Palmetto is from 3-4 am
>- flooding is a valid excuse to miss work or school
>- you know at least one person who has more than six people living in their
>houses
>- you have a statue of Santa Barbara, San Lazaro, or La Caridad del Cobre
>in front of your house
>- your neighbor keeps chickens and goats in their back yard, and you're
>always worried you'll find one of them dead on your doorstep
>- you know the only hills are trash hills
>- the only rivers you've seen are the Miami River and canals
>- you see three generations of women wearing baja y chupas (tube tops)
>- you know that New Times has better news than the Miami Herald, even
>though it's free is half of it is strip club and escort ads
>- you know any woman walking around after dark on Flagler or Biscayne is
>turning tricks
>- you own a guayabera or know what one is
>- you take your car to go one block down the street
>- you buy mamoncillos while waiting in traffic
>- a light lunch consists of chicharrones and malta Hatuey
>- you see a sushi bar on every corner
>- you get your chicken from Pollo Tropical
>- your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some
>guy's trunk in Hialeah
>- you see girls wearing clubbing clothes to go to 7-11
>-you add an 'eh' to everything starting with 's'. ("eh-Sprite'',
>''eh-stop", etc.)
>-there's a navarro on every corner
>- you have to put on the invitations starts at 2:30pm when the event really
>starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time.
>
>
>- you call flipflops chancletas
>- you wear chancletas EVERYWHERE
>- you can recognize a santero
>- you live 15 minutes from the beach, but you never go
>- the car behind you honks their horn because you stopped at a red light
>- you reminisce about booty music and can still dance to it
>- you get mad if the DJ doesn't play salsa, merengue, bachata, or reggaeton
>at a party
>- you buy your party food at Blue Sky
>- you know what a caja china is
>- you at least know the chorus to "Take it to da House"
>- you refer to your hometown as 305 or MIA
>- you know you can't get a job without speaking Spanish
>- you know you can't really get anywhere without speaking Spanish
>- you only go to a Marlins, Heat, or Dolphins game if they're on a winning
>streak
>- you instinctively buy gallons of water during hurricane season, just in
>case
>-you hope for a hurricane to come so you don't have to go to work/school
>- you know only tourists go clubbing on South Beach
>- you spend your summer days inside cuz it's hot as hell
>outside...literally
>- you're so used to craziness that very few things surprise you anymore
>- you want to move out of Miami some day, but you say you'll come back
>- you know never to buy mangoes or avocados at a grocery store cuz u grow
>them in your backyard
>- you go to a store/business and the manager tells you "hablas espanol?"
>cuz they barely can speak english
>- you know how to drink a colada
>- you know your pastelitos
>- you realize that most of Miami is a ghetto
>- you know you have to be stupid or white to go to UM
>- all you did in high school is study for the FCAT
>- you know that Argentineans make the best steak for the best prices
>- you bump into Trick Daddy everywhere
>- your ride is pimped out buy your house is a shit hole
>- you know to be out of Downtown by 6 pm
>- you have to wait 4 hours for a bus to come that's supposed to come by
>ever 30 minutes
>- it's 60 degrees outside and you wear a sweater, a jacket, gloves, a
>scarf, a hat, and boots
>- you call Farm Stores La Vaquita
>- you know the only time there's no traffic on the Palmetto is from 3-4 am
>- flooding is a valid excuse to miss work or school
>- you know at least one person who has more than six people living in their
>houses
>- you have a statue of Santa Barbara, San Lazaro, or La Caridad del Cobre
>in front of your house
>- your neighbor keeps chickens and goats in their back yard, and you're
>always worried you'll find one of them dead on your doorstep
>- you know the only hills are trash hills
>- the only rivers you've seen are the Miami River and canals
>- you see three generations of women wearing baja y chupas (tube tops)
>- you know that New Times has better news than the Miami Herald, even
>though it's free is half of it is strip club and escort ads
>- you know any woman walking around after dark on Flagler or Biscayne is
>turning tricks
>- you own a guayabera or know what one is
>- you take your car to go one block down the street
>- you buy mamoncillos while waiting in traffic
>- a light lunch consists of chicharrones and malta Hatuey
>- you see a sushi bar on every corner
>- you get your chicken from Pollo Tropical
>- your shrimp, lobster, and designer purses all come from one place: some
>guy's trunk in Hialeah
>- you see girls wearing clubbing clothes to go to 7-11
>-you add an 'eh' to everything starting with 's'. ("eh-Sprite'',
>''eh-stop", etc.)
>-there's a navarro on every corner
>- you have to put on the invitations starts at 2:30pm when the event really
>starts at 3:30pm just so people actually get there on time.
>