(no subject)
Okay, so. My computer has been freaking out on me lately. So, I've been super careful to save my text documents twice, three times over, just to be sure.
But, I guess that's not enough. Because my computer crashed, and I guess it reverted back to a about two weeks ago.
Because twenty pages of my NaNoWriMo book have vanished. Off the face of the earth. Just, gone. Twenty pages.
At an integral part, right at the climax, where it's the most heartwrenching to write, where I've been tearing up as I write it because it's really fucking hard.
Just, lost.
I don't have the heart to finish it, I don't have the heart to write it again, and find the words and do that again. I don't.
And it sucks, so, so, hard because this is the most important thing that I've ever written. The most involved, the longest, the best.
These characters, they are my people. These are people in my head who just had a chunk of their life erased. Fully formed people. And it hurts to say goodbye.
I had hopes to finish it soon, I know how it is supposed to end, I know how I wanted to get there, I have some rough outline somewhere. And I want to finish it, so, so bad.
But I don't have the strength. God.
I can't stop crying, which is kinda pathetic. But, I mean. It's just gone.
But, I guess that's not enough. Because my computer crashed, and I guess it reverted back to a about two weeks ago.
Because twenty pages of my NaNoWriMo book have vanished. Off the face of the earth. Just, gone. Twenty pages.
At an integral part, right at the climax, where it's the most heartwrenching to write, where I've been tearing up as I write it because it's really fucking hard.
Just, lost.
I don't have the heart to finish it, I don't have the heart to write it again, and find the words and do that again. I don't.
And it sucks, so, so, hard because this is the most important thing that I've ever written. The most involved, the longest, the best.
These characters, they are my people. These are people in my head who just had a chunk of their life erased. Fully formed people. And it hurts to say goodbye.
I had hopes to finish it soon, I know how it is supposed to end, I know how I wanted to get there, I have some rough outline somewhere. And I want to finish it, so, so bad.
But I don't have the strength. God.
I can't stop crying, which is kinda pathetic. But, I mean. It's just gone.