wOw! Its been awhile....
So much stuff has happened latley (good and bad). I haven't updated in awhile because i kinda got bored with this whole live journal thing and my computer at the moment isn't working all that well. I'm not sure what is wrong but i'm bringing it in later this week so hopfully the smart people can fix it. School is going pretty good, just got my report card today, it wasn't the best but in the mid 80's which isn't horrible. Although this quater i want to do a little bit better for myelf and this way my mom has nothin to say to me, but she was happy with what i am doing now. Besides grades, it is the same old shit.I hate when i hear people say, "high school is supposed to be the best years of your life." I'm sure I'll look back at all the stupid things that me and my friends did that we thought were funy because I look back on all of them now but sometimes I wish it was better. I know I have it better then some other high schoolers but i want to be having the time of my life right now. I am still young but it is my high school years and before i know it they will be over and done. And I think that what scares me the most is that i keep saying i can't wait to get out of this place and for graduation day to come (which is the truth) but it is flying by right infront of my eyes. The other day someone asked my how old my brother was now and as it came out of my mouth I was shocked by my own answer because I couldn't believe it. I feel like people change, grow, and disipere right before your eyes, including myself....
I'm still chillin with the girls and I don't know what I would do without them. We have so much fun together and i wish sometimes we could have a video camera at all times because the shit we say and do is so charishable. But then there are the other times, which i think most people have, like the other night. Now don't get me wrong, I love the girlz, but i got really upset the other night. Friday I bought i bottle of Barardi and me, ali and dana were all going to drink. We ended hanging out with Lauren and her boyfriend, and i didn't care but it was never said that they were drinking too. Honestly it doesn't bother me that they drank because I would've said something if it did but the thing that bothers me is that if they were smokin a blunt or something and were chilling with us, they would've asked for money to through down. So then i wonder, why the fuck should i be so generous. Yeah, i guess it is because i am just being a nice person but i am tired of being nice and then not getting it back in return. And i don't just mean her in general because like I said i really do like being nice and normally it wouldn't even run through my head for it to be a question whether i am sharing my shit with someone or not. That was only the beginning of the night because then we ended up coming back to my house. Everyone came back here to chill and we were all having a good time. Dana said something about Kevin coming over and i told everyone who was listening that i didn't want him in the house but he could stay outside. Later i come upstairs to see what everyone is doing and who is in my kitchen but him. I also said that if Vinny was coming over i asked if they could meet him somewhere because i really didn't want him here without me knowing. If someone came to me and even asked that probably would've changed my answer but the fact is that no one did and he was here anywya. If i had known that when he first had gotten here or when i was told he was coming i would've said something but i DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! I walked outside and there he was. They were all smokin a blunt but did anyone bother to pass it to me...no! Which is basically my point, why should that happen to me when i did nothing but share my shit w/everyone that night w/out a thankyou. To sum it up quickly is that if people just show me that they take me into consideration i would'nt fuckin care. It could be just my imagination because on one hand i know that we would've chilled even if i didn't buy a bottle but sometimes i just want to hear a "Thank you" for little things that I do for people because its something i don't get very often. Like the other night i was talking to Ali on the phone and i was telling her what i told Garry about treating her right. The first words out of her mouth were, thank you, and i can't explain how happy that made me.
Beside that whole shit which i am not doing to let bother me because i will just get pissed but i am not letting it happen like that again. I was hanging out with George for a while and i was actaully happy with what was going on. There was a little drama at first but then once it was gone it was all good. We weren't boyfriend and girlfriend actually we both wanted a piece of ass from each other. The weirdest thing in my eyes happened, something i wasn't expecting. We both new that he wasn't ready for a relationship and i wasn't sure whether i wanted one but it ended up not being either. We never fucked or remotly came close beside some make ou action but everytime we hung out we just would always be holding each other or cuddeling and i like it. We both like each other and still to this day i hear it but i choose to ignore it because it gets me upset. Yet everything could've changed in a heart beat in any direction if he was still here but he isn't. And when he left I was more upset then i ever imagined i would've been. I talked to him the other night and had a long ass conversation which was really nice but it made me really miss the asswhole. But then again its one more of those memories from high school i can look back on and cry and laugh at the same time. And just wonder what will the future do for that kid....hopfully something good.
This past saturday night i went to Club 11 with char, robin, and myself. It was fun but could've been better. After the club we went to the guys house for a couple of hours. I hung out with Fernando, which ended up being fun. He called me today and we ended talking for like an hour which was nice and he wants to get together this up coming weekend.
I called Sara earlier to say hi and see what was up with her because i never got to see her this weekend but she really pissed me off this time. We wanted to go grab a cup of coffee or a btie to eat after she had to pick her mom up from the train station so i told her to call me after she got her mom. Well never heard from her so i picked up the phone and called her. She was like opps i thought u said you were going to call me back and since i never heard from you i assumed that u didn;t want to. I don't know but i'm ticked because if its not her on the phone acting compltley scetching then she puts leah on the phone with i don't appriciate. Not that i don't like her but i am calling sara's phone to talk to her not u and then to top it off she give an attitude something i don't need to deal with. So for now on i might call just to say hi and make sure she's alive, i can't promise though, but when she wants to chill or sit down and have aconversation as far as i am concerned she can call me and see what i am doing cause i am done with stupid shit like that!!!!
I am done and i am just looking out for myself and people who treat me the way i want to be treated like my girlz!!
I love ya guys and i want to enjoy this year so watch out cause even though there's nothin to do in this shity ass town ....we're are going to make something. It may take a while but we will...don't worry.
I'm still chillin with the girls and I don't know what I would do without them. We have so much fun together and i wish sometimes we could have a video camera at all times because the shit we say and do is so charishable. But then there are the other times, which i think most people have, like the other night. Now don't get me wrong, I love the girlz, but i got really upset the other night. Friday I bought i bottle of Barardi and me, ali and dana were all going to drink. We ended hanging out with Lauren and her boyfriend, and i didn't care but it was never said that they were drinking too. Honestly it doesn't bother me that they drank because I would've said something if it did but the thing that bothers me is that if they were smokin a blunt or something and were chilling with us, they would've asked for money to through down. So then i wonder, why the fuck should i be so generous. Yeah, i guess it is because i am just being a nice person but i am tired of being nice and then not getting it back in return. And i don't just mean her in general because like I said i really do like being nice and normally it wouldn't even run through my head for it to be a question whether i am sharing my shit with someone or not. That was only the beginning of the night because then we ended up coming back to my house. Everyone came back here to chill and we were all having a good time. Dana said something about Kevin coming over and i told everyone who was listening that i didn't want him in the house but he could stay outside. Later i come upstairs to see what everyone is doing and who is in my kitchen but him. I also said that if Vinny was coming over i asked if they could meet him somewhere because i really didn't want him here without me knowing. If someone came to me and even asked that probably would've changed my answer but the fact is that no one did and he was here anywya. If i had known that when he first had gotten here or when i was told he was coming i would've said something but i DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! I walked outside and there he was. They were all smokin a blunt but did anyone bother to pass it to me...no! Which is basically my point, why should that happen to me when i did nothing but share my shit w/everyone that night w/out a thankyou. To sum it up quickly is that if people just show me that they take me into consideration i would'nt fuckin care. It could be just my imagination because on one hand i know that we would've chilled even if i didn't buy a bottle but sometimes i just want to hear a "Thank you" for little things that I do for people because its something i don't get very often. Like the other night i was talking to Ali on the phone and i was telling her what i told Garry about treating her right. The first words out of her mouth were, thank you, and i can't explain how happy that made me.
Beside that whole shit which i am not doing to let bother me because i will just get pissed but i am not letting it happen like that again. I was hanging out with George for a while and i was actaully happy with what was going on. There was a little drama at first but then once it was gone it was all good. We weren't boyfriend and girlfriend actually we both wanted a piece of ass from each other. The weirdest thing in my eyes happened, something i wasn't expecting. We both new that he wasn't ready for a relationship and i wasn't sure whether i wanted one but it ended up not being either. We never fucked or remotly came close beside some make ou action but everytime we hung out we just would always be holding each other or cuddeling and i like it. We both like each other and still to this day i hear it but i choose to ignore it because it gets me upset. Yet everything could've changed in a heart beat in any direction if he was still here but he isn't. And when he left I was more upset then i ever imagined i would've been. I talked to him the other night and had a long ass conversation which was really nice but it made me really miss the asswhole. But then again its one more of those memories from high school i can look back on and cry and laugh at the same time. And just wonder what will the future do for that kid....hopfully something good.
This past saturday night i went to Club 11 with char, robin, and myself. It was fun but could've been better. After the club we went to the guys house for a couple of hours. I hung out with Fernando, which ended up being fun. He called me today and we ended talking for like an hour which was nice and he wants to get together this up coming weekend.
I called Sara earlier to say hi and see what was up with her because i never got to see her this weekend but she really pissed me off this time. We wanted to go grab a cup of coffee or a btie to eat after she had to pick her mom up from the train station so i told her to call me after she got her mom. Well never heard from her so i picked up the phone and called her. She was like opps i thought u said you were going to call me back and since i never heard from you i assumed that u didn;t want to. I don't know but i'm ticked because if its not her on the phone acting compltley scetching then she puts leah on the phone with i don't appriciate. Not that i don't like her but i am calling sara's phone to talk to her not u and then to top it off she give an attitude something i don't need to deal with. So for now on i might call just to say hi and make sure she's alive, i can't promise though, but when she wants to chill or sit down and have aconversation as far as i am concerned she can call me and see what i am doing cause i am done with stupid shit like that!!!!
I am done and i am just looking out for myself and people who treat me the way i want to be treated like my girlz!!
I love ya guys and i want to enjoy this year so watch out cause even though there's nothin to do in this shity ass town ....we're are going to make something. It may take a while but we will...don't worry.