Q's Corner -- Point: Revenge of the Nerds
My dear friend, Melon, brought to my attention an interesting article in the New York Times. It concerns an increasing decline (how's that for an oxymoron) in higher learning institutions that require the submission of standardized test scores for admission. Basically, they're getting rid of the ACT/SAT.
Here was my initial reaction: It's a bold move -- dangerous and sexy! I wanna rape it... wait a sec, that's not funny. Rape is bad! How about I just undress it with my words...
So this sparked a furious debate with my multiple personalities and I am now going to share that debate with you in this very special Point/Counterpoint edition of Q's Corner. I bring it to you in two parts as my squabbling personalities are quite loquacious.
Point: Revenge of the Nerds
One the one hand, I think it'll ruin the teenage social hierarchy. If the ACT/SAT are phased out of the system, how are we to determine who are the "smart kids"? If we lose that social elite then who is left to be the subject of unified ridicule, persecution and silent envy? The Plastics? The Jocks? The Punks? The Goths? Or maybe The AKITCWASTSTTCAGUBESCUODYHANOTICSFTIAHAATIWOFWICSDWETABSIPFTFTI3YMYSICL"WthiTN?" (Awkward Kids In The Corner Who Always Seem To Slip Through The Cracks And Go Unnoticed By Every Social Clique Until One Day You Hear A Name On The Intercom Cuz Someone Forgot Their Inhaler At Home And Aunt Trudy Is Waiting Out Front With It Cuz She Doesn't Wanna Enter The School And Be Seen In Public For The First Time In 3 Years Meanwhile You're Sitting In Class Like "Who the hell is Timothy Narkenbacher?")? ...No, it can't be those kids cuz then you'd have to acknowledge they exist which would, ironically, completely nullify their existence (as a social order).
So back to the point, the only common denominator in high school society is a respectful apathy of The Nerds. With no clear-cut line (i.e. test scores) to distinguish between "The Top of the Class" and... (with a perfunctory wave of my hand) everyone else, the system will fall into chaos: Beautiful People might date would-be Nerds and actually end up feeling appreciated and respected and thus never become models, actors, performers and porn stars; Jocks might beat up Goths and get murdered (cuz everyone knows that Goths carry knives around with them) thus ruining the sports entertainment industry; Punks might try and take up the reins of the "smart elite" and we would be subjected to whiney retorts and anarchist critiques in news and literature; and those other kids... well, who cares about those other kids? But again, I digress, though I hope you get the point -- the future of our society would be ruined.
If the Award-Winners don't grow up feeling unappreciated by their peers (and over-indulged by adults) then where will they ever find the motivation to create greatness later in life? The Revenge of the Nerds is not just a mediocre movie, it is an evolutionary necessity. It has given rise to countless revolutions in history, art, literature, religion, science and much, much more. Not all of the results are particularly favorable, but I, for one, enjoy and appreciate the many technological advancements that I use on a daily basis -- my Wii, laptop, cell phone, multimedia (ie, books, DVDs, etc.) -- and each of them probably has some gadget or gizmo within them created by a Nerd or, at the very least, was marketed by some intelligent young chap who knows just how to prey upon my every consumer weakness. Bravo!
Removing entrance exams from the college scene is the first step towards a slippery slope. High schoolers are too naive, frivolous, and superficial to be left without direction, exclusion and disappointment. They are like sheep and college is the shepherd. And if you look closely, you will see the letters ACT/SAT carved on his staff as he beats the most wayward of his flock.
(You can view the article here.)
Here was my initial reaction: It's a bold move -- dangerous and sexy! I wanna rape it... wait a sec, that's not funny. Rape is bad! How about I just undress it with my words...
So this sparked a furious debate with my multiple personalities and I am now going to share that debate with you in this very special Point/Counterpoint edition of Q's Corner. I bring it to you in two parts as my squabbling personalities are quite loquacious.
Point: Revenge of the Nerds
One the one hand, I think it'll ruin the teenage social hierarchy. If the ACT/SAT are phased out of the system, how are we to determine who are the "smart kids"? If we lose that social elite then who is left to be the subject of unified ridicule, persecution and silent envy? The Plastics? The Jocks? The Punks? The Goths? Or maybe The AKITCWASTSTTCAGUBESCUODYHANOTICSFTIAHAATIWOFWICSDWETABSIPFTFTI3YMYSICL"WthiTN?" (Awkward Kids In The Corner Who Always Seem To Slip Through The Cracks And Go Unnoticed By Every Social Clique Until One Day You Hear A Name On The Intercom Cuz Someone Forgot Their Inhaler At Home And Aunt Trudy Is Waiting Out Front With It Cuz She Doesn't Wanna Enter The School And Be Seen In Public For The First Time In 3 Years Meanwhile You're Sitting In Class Like "Who the hell is Timothy Narkenbacher?")? ...No, it can't be those kids cuz then you'd have to acknowledge they exist which would, ironically, completely nullify their existence (as a social order).
So back to the point, the only common denominator in high school society is a respectful apathy of The Nerds. With no clear-cut line (i.e. test scores) to distinguish between "The Top of the Class" and... (with a perfunctory wave of my hand) everyone else, the system will fall into chaos: Beautiful People might date would-be Nerds and actually end up feeling appreciated and respected and thus never become models, actors, performers and porn stars; Jocks might beat up Goths and get murdered (cuz everyone knows that Goths carry knives around with them) thus ruining the sports entertainment industry; Punks might try and take up the reins of the "smart elite" and we would be subjected to whiney retorts and anarchist critiques in news and literature; and those other kids... well, who cares about those other kids? But again, I digress, though I hope you get the point -- the future of our society would be ruined.
If the Award-Winners don't grow up feeling unappreciated by their peers (and over-indulged by adults) then where will they ever find the motivation to create greatness later in life? The Revenge of the Nerds is not just a mediocre movie, it is an evolutionary necessity. It has given rise to countless revolutions in history, art, literature, religion, science and much, much more. Not all of the results are particularly favorable, but I, for one, enjoy and appreciate the many technological advancements that I use on a daily basis -- my Wii, laptop, cell phone, multimedia (ie, books, DVDs, etc.) -- and each of them probably has some gadget or gizmo within them created by a Nerd or, at the very least, was marketed by some intelligent young chap who knows just how to prey upon my every consumer weakness. Bravo!
Removing entrance exams from the college scene is the first step towards a slippery slope. High schoolers are too naive, frivolous, and superficial to be left without direction, exclusion and disappointment. They are like sheep and college is the shepherd. And if you look closely, you will see the letters ACT/SAT carved on his staff as he beats the most wayward of his flock.
(You can view the article here.)