Ouch. *gulp* Aw SHIT fucking OW...
So, I wonder to myself, what hand-rubbing sadist invented the concept of the gastric manometer?
The first tube they put in looked like a fucking garden hose; I felt like I was going to choke and vomit both at the same time. I freaked a little bit, and I was about to make them take it out (no WAY was that thing staying in me for 24 hours), and it was a full five minutes before the nurse told me that wasn't the 24 hour tube; it was only for the first test. WELL THANK FUCK FOR THAT.
I've got a (somewhat) smaller tube in my head right now. Hits my gag reflex when I turn my head or look up or down, or sometimes when I swallow. Really hurts to swallow, too. It's less bad when there's food going down to cushion the blow, but yikes. It's ironic that they give this test to people with painful or difficult swallowing...well, I didn't have that before you stuck a fucking garden hose down my gullet, but now...?
Sometimes it moves on its own too. Like gives a little back and forth tug. Like it's alive. Am not entirely convinced it's not an alien probe.
The only cool bits: the looks I get from people on the sidewalk, and the fact that I can see the tube in the mirror running down the back of my throat past my tonsils.
EDIT: Oh, and I would have to decide to get this test done at the height of the worst allergy season in living memory. Ever tried to blow your nose with a wanking great tube sticking out of it? 'Challenging' ain't the word.
Q