Misha's never been one to count his lines. Sometimes Castiel is the exposition fairy, sometimes his lines consist of "Dean" in half a dozen inflections. But he's been hearing rumors of Season Six (okay, Jerry, the night janitor, told Marcus, the security guard, told Janice, the woman who straightens their clothes between takes - what? sometimes they tussle!, told Maggie, the barista at the chai & coffee place, who makes this chai - it is literally Heaven on Earth, anyhow, she told Misha that Castiel may only be in three episodes).
This calls for drastic measures. This calls for, dare he say it? Yes he does. This calls for a Dastardly Plan. Because working on Supernatural is both lucrative and fun! And he gets to travel the world on someone else's dime. You can't beat that with a crowbar.
So he turns to the source of all that is good and holy: the internet. Specifically, his Minions. But he can't just go on as himself and tweet "Hey, so I heard I might not be in a lot of episodes in season six! Tell everyone to send the CW emails, letters, and trench coats if you want to see more of me." For one thing, it sounds desperate, and for another, it's over the character count.
Enter the Dastardly portion of this Plan. He creates a fake twitter account and names it joanieangel. He debates over the angel bit, but decides it's not enough of a giveaway when paired with the joanie. (Joanie being the name of his mother's friend's sister's ex-girlfriend from back in Mass. She had a pierced eyebrow. It got infected and scarred Misha for life. He was four.)
joanieangel follows Misha, and to establish her as someone with a genuine connection, he has her tweet: "M - fresh shipment of blueberries in. Save you 2 boxes?" He responds: "Y. Need to make pancakes." This accomplishes two things. One, 50% of his followers immediately start following joanieangel, and the other 50% go out and buy blueberries. Blueberries are high in antioxidants, so he just raised the health of all those Minions. You're welcome.
joanieangel's next tweet is: "Looking forward to season 6! Mike is hoping for more Kali." More Minions follow after that one. Rekha Sharma is hot, but more importantly, this establishes joanieangel's connection to the show itself. And is a little shoutout to his plumber Mike, who unclogged the kitchen sink after the incident with the yogurt, Star Wars action figures and dryer sheets. The clincher is his own reply: "Just DM-ed you."
Well! He can FEEL the curiosity rising. Now he's got their attention. It's time for joanieangel to make her move. But how to get even MORE people involved? He doesn't want the Minions to have to do all the work. That's not fair.
The answer is obvious. What does he get asked at every con? Other than the one about his underwear. He always gets asked about Dean. How does Cas feel about Dean? Followed closely, most times, by the looming specter of fanfic. Misha is not stupid. He KNOWS there are vast collections of stories centered around Cas and Dean screwing each other silly. Now there's an idea. Love interests always get screentime. What are the pros? Jensen has pillowy lips, plus he smells good. The cons? Zip.
joanieangel: "Who wants more Misha on SPN? Sign petition to make Castiel/Dean canon!" 'Canon' is a term he's picked up from the fans. And he thinks it's commonly Dean/Cas, but he's Misha Collins. His name goes first.
He gets lots of tweets in answer, and several people decide to host a petition for signatures on their journals. It's building up steam!
He watches the response over the next couple of days. He gets a few "Is Cas a bossy bottom?" and "Does Dean deep throat?", but for the most part, people seem really excited. Lots of Deangirls join in when joanieangel casually makes reference to Jensen needing to walk around topless if he's going to be filming a lot of sex scenes.
The petition is sent to Dawn Ostraff. It's got a million signatures. (This is an exaggeration. He'd been tracking the numbers, but then there was Sangria. A lot of things slip through the cracks around Sangria.)
The next day he gets his contract, and he's in every episode! He immediately calls Jensen and asks what brand of toothpaste he prefers.
Some of the bits that earned a guffaw: - told Janice, the woman who straightens their clothes between takes - what? sometimes they tussle! - For one thing, it sounds desperate, and for another, it's over the character count. - And he thinks it's commonly Dean/Cas, but he's Misha Collins. His name goes first.
Continuing Adventures of joanieangelblue_fjordsJune 2 2010, 20:49:15 UTC
Jensen is a Tom's of Maine boy. This surprises Misha at first. He'd been expecting something a little more whitebread, like Crest, and not as environmentally-friendly. Even the box boasts its superior commitment to the planet.
They're filming episode three when he gets a mouthful of wintermint. It wasn't in the script.
It happens like this. Cas and Dean are supposed to exchange soulful looks over the corpse of a dog. The monster-of-the-week has killed a dog, thereby showing it 100 times more evil than all their previous villains. When the camera is filming Jensen's reaction shot, Misha steps over the dog and latches onto that plump lower lip. It tastes and feels decidedly awesome. It's possible he slips a little tongue. It's possible he shoves his tongue down Jensen's throat and goes for an exploratory lick-fest. It's possible he ignores the "Cut!" until Jensen gives him a nudge, and he steps on the dead dog. Well, the plush toy covered in syrup.
The director reminds him that they're on the CW and to keep it in his pants. Which is a ridiculous expression, because it never left his pants! (That's what he wants for episode 10, aka last one before Hellatus, another word he's picked up from fans. He's making a dictionary.)
So the first time doesn't go well, but there'll be another because damn he wants to suck on that lip again, oh my God, zoinks.
The problem is the scripts are all being written for basic cable. And apparently basic cable programmers don't get any action. It's time to bust out joanieangel.
He starts small. joanieangel: "New lip balm arrived." (He's decided that she runs a health food store. He can't tell the difference between wheat germ and dirt, but joanieangel is into all that crap. Another way she's not him, wink, wink.) He responds: "I need to stock up." He pauses. That's a boring response. He adds: "& shave my legs. cream?"
That gathers a few squees and OMG's. But he's not shaving his legs again, not after the incident with the clogged sink (bathroom this time) and the surprise visit by Michael Jackson's sister, needing to pee. (It's possible it wasn't Janet Jackson. It's possible it was his friend Jeff, and Jeff's 'friend' 6-foot-5 Monique of the protruding Adam's apple. It's possible there was Sangria.)
joanieangel: "Lips getting a workout?" This is perhaps a bit heavy-handed, and Misha strategically does not tweet back right away. Rumors run rampant, everything from "OMG, Dean & Cas, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" to "OMG, no response! Are they ever going to kiss?!" He smiles to himself, and tweets @joanieangel: "no workout. cest la vie." (French always adds class. It's like using a hanky or eating crumpets.)
The chatrooms are soon filled with cries for Dean/Cas kisses. And some for Cas/Dean kisses. He doesn't even have to do anything else, just watch it snowball and fantasize about nibbling that lip. Guh. (Another one for the dictionary.)
The next script has a Dean-led kiss (someone's in the same chatrooms). Misha positions himself outside Jensen's trailer after he's sure the other man has seen it. Sure enough, Jensen comes tromping down his steps and freezes when he spots Misha.
Misha has worked on a line, specially tailored for Jensen. It goes like this: "Do you want to rehearse this?"
"Uh," Jensen replies. He is sometimes tongue-tied by Misha's presence. Misha would like to make that literal.
"Good." Misha herds him back into the trailer and tosses his script aside. "I'm ready."
Jensen looks at him, then down at his shoes (brown), then at the wall, and finally he rolls his shoulders and becomes Dean. "Cas," he says gruffly and takes a step closer. Misha is staring at that lip.
Jensen's open-mouthed from the beginning, and handsy and there are NOISES. Obscene little grunty, breathy, moany noises. Misha's only making half of them, too. He's backed up against the door before he can say 'yogurt' and it's all quite fantastic; the lips, the tongue, the teeth, the neck-stroking, the hand under the shirt, all of it.
But then Jensen pulls away, breathing hard. "I think we got it," he mumbles, and practically flies out the door. Well. joanieangel better get her rear in gear pushing for that episode 10 sex scene, that's all there is to it.
This calls for drastic measures. This calls for, dare he say it? Yes he does. This calls for a Dastardly Plan. Because working on Supernatural is both lucrative and fun! And he gets to travel the world on someone else's dime. You can't beat that with a crowbar.
So he turns to the source of all that is good and holy: the internet. Specifically, his Minions. But he can't just go on as himself and tweet "Hey, so I heard I might not be in a lot of episodes in season six! Tell everyone to send the CW emails, letters, and trench coats if you want to see more of me." For one thing, it sounds desperate, and for another, it's over the character count.
Enter the Dastardly portion of this Plan. He creates a fake twitter account and names it joanieangel. He debates over the angel bit, but decides it's not enough of a giveaway when paired with the joanie. (Joanie being the name of his mother's friend's sister's ex-girlfriend from back in Mass. She had a pierced eyebrow. It got infected and scarred Misha for life. He was four.)
joanieangel follows Misha, and to establish her as someone with a genuine connection, he has her tweet: "M - fresh shipment of blueberries in. Save you 2 boxes?" He responds: "Y. Need to make pancakes." This accomplishes two things. One, 50% of his followers immediately start following joanieangel, and the other 50% go out and buy blueberries. Blueberries are high in antioxidants, so he just raised the health of all those Minions. You're welcome.
joanieangel's next tweet is: "Looking forward to season 6! Mike is hoping for more Kali." More Minions follow after that one. Rekha Sharma is hot, but more importantly, this establishes joanieangel's connection to the show itself. And is a little shoutout to his plumber Mike, who unclogged the kitchen sink after the incident with the yogurt, Star Wars action figures and dryer sheets. The clincher is his own reply: "Just DM-ed you."
Well! He can FEEL the curiosity rising. Now he's got their attention. It's time for joanieangel to make her move. But how to get even MORE people involved? He doesn't want the Minions to have to do all the work. That's not fair.
The answer is obvious. What does he get asked at every con? Other than the one about his underwear. He always gets asked about Dean. How does Cas feel about Dean? Followed closely, most times, by the looming specter of fanfic. Misha is not stupid. He KNOWS there are vast collections of stories centered around Cas and Dean screwing each other silly. Now there's an idea. Love interests always get screentime. What are the pros? Jensen has pillowy lips, plus he smells good. The cons? Zip.
joanieangel: "Who wants more Misha on SPN? Sign petition to make Castiel/Dean canon!" 'Canon' is a term he's picked up from the fans. And he thinks it's commonly Dean/Cas, but he's Misha Collins. His name goes first.
He gets lots of tweets in answer, and several people decide to host a petition for signatures on their journals. It's building up steam!
He watches the response over the next couple of days. He gets a few "Is Cas a bossy bottom?" and "Does Dean deep throat?", but for the most part, people seem really excited. Lots of Deangirls join in when joanieangel casually makes reference to Jensen needing to walk around topless if he's going to be filming a lot of sex scenes.
The petition is sent to Dawn Ostraff. It's got a million signatures. (This is an exaggeration. He'd been tracking the numbers, but then there was Sangria. A lot of things slip through the cracks around Sangria.)
The next day he gets his contract, and he's in every episode! He immediately calls Jensen and asks what brand of toothpaste he prefers.
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This is amazing. Thank you!
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Some of the bits that earned a guffaw:
- told Janice, the woman who straightens their clothes between takes - what? sometimes they tussle!
- For one thing, it sounds desperate, and for another, it's over the character count.
- And he thinks it's commonly Dean/Cas, but he's Misha Collins. His name goes first.
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I'm totally writing more.
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this reality? Why, why, why?
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They're filming episode three when he gets a mouthful of wintermint. It wasn't in the script.
It happens like this. Cas and Dean are supposed to exchange soulful looks over the corpse of a dog. The monster-of-the-week has killed a dog, thereby showing it 100 times more evil than all their previous villains. When the camera is filming Jensen's reaction shot, Misha steps over the dog and latches onto that plump lower lip. It tastes and feels decidedly awesome. It's possible he slips a little tongue. It's possible he shoves his tongue down Jensen's throat and goes for an exploratory lick-fest. It's possible he ignores the "Cut!" until Jensen gives him a nudge, and he steps on the dead dog. Well, the plush toy covered in syrup.
The director reminds him that they're on the CW and to keep it in his pants. Which is a ridiculous expression, because it never left his pants! (That's what he wants for episode 10, aka last one before Hellatus, another word he's picked up from fans. He's making a dictionary.)
So the first time doesn't go well, but there'll be another because damn he wants to suck on that lip again, oh my God, zoinks.
The problem is the scripts are all being written for basic cable. And apparently basic cable programmers don't get any action. It's time to bust out joanieangel.
He starts small. joanieangel: "New lip balm arrived." (He's decided that she runs a health food store. He can't tell the difference between wheat germ and dirt, but joanieangel is into all that crap. Another way she's not him, wink, wink.) He responds: "I need to stock up." He pauses. That's a boring response. He adds: "& shave my legs. cream?"
That gathers a few squees and OMG's. But he's not shaving his legs again, not after the incident with the clogged sink (bathroom this time) and the surprise visit by Michael Jackson's sister, needing to pee. (It's possible it wasn't Janet Jackson. It's possible it was his friend Jeff, and Jeff's 'friend' 6-foot-5 Monique of the protruding Adam's apple. It's possible there was Sangria.)
joanieangel: "Lips getting a workout?" This is perhaps a bit heavy-handed, and Misha strategically does not tweet back right away. Rumors run rampant, everything from "OMG, Dean & Cas, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g!" to "OMG, no response! Are they ever going to kiss?!" He smiles to himself, and tweets @joanieangel: "no workout. cest la vie." (French always adds class. It's like using a hanky or eating crumpets.)
The chatrooms are soon filled with cries for Dean/Cas kisses. And some for Cas/Dean kisses. He doesn't even have to do anything else, just watch it snowball and fantasize about nibbling that lip. Guh. (Another one for the dictionary.)
The next script has a Dean-led kiss (someone's in the same chatrooms). Misha positions himself outside Jensen's trailer after he's sure the other man has seen it. Sure enough, Jensen comes tromping down his steps and freezes when he spots Misha.
Misha has worked on a line, specially tailored for Jensen. It goes like this: "Do you want to rehearse this?"
"Uh," Jensen replies. He is sometimes tongue-tied by Misha's presence. Misha would like to make that literal.
"Good." Misha herds him back into the trailer and tosses his script aside. "I'm ready."
Jensen looks at him, then down at his shoes (brown), then at the wall, and finally he rolls his shoulders and becomes Dean. "Cas," he says gruffly and takes a step closer. Misha is staring at that lip.
Jensen's open-mouthed from the beginning, and handsy and there are NOISES. Obscene little grunty, breathy, moany noises. Misha's only making half of them, too. He's backed up against the door before he can say 'yogurt' and it's all quite fantastic; the lips, the tongue, the teeth, the neck-stroking, the hand under the shirt, all of it.
But then Jensen pulls away, breathing hard. "I think we got it," he mumbles, and practically flies out the door. Well. joanieangel better get her rear in gear pushing for that episode 10 sex scene, that's all there is to it.
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A WONDERFUL, BREATHY, MOANY, WET MONSTERS.
A MONSTER I WISH TO SEE MORE OF. ♥
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