Don't Panic!
Contrary to my often outward appearance, I am antisocial. I am very content sitting at home with a book, computer, yarn, trees and such like things. I will readily agree to spend time with small groups of friends, often with the afore mentioned either as an activity, discussion, or in someway involved in the gathering. Of course this isn't always the case, but tis when I am most comfortable.
This past weekend was the annual convention for Rabbezines of the world, here in Crown Heights. As you can imagine, that's a lot of people. Not only do they come, but many Jewish Girls High Schools and Seminaries come here as well, and they all need places to stay. In addition to SM three of such girls stayed here. They arrived late Thursday night...early Friday morning, and really, I just wanted to sleep having had less than normal the previous week, and knowing of the impending People. Alas, things were beginning to get settled, beds assigned and moved about, the room got rather crowded.
Cue a one hour long panic attack that had me hiding under the blanket(I had already been in bed), and required about half an hour to an hour of random quoting of random British Scifi with reddwarfervia texting (I couldn't call anyone, because a. that would alert/wake the others and b. panic) to get me calm enough that I could spend another half hour or so calming down to sleep. I got to sleep maybe 0300ish or so. Yeah. Oh, and did I mention that I was waking at 0630ish so as to shower for Shabbos? Fun.
I did feel better after my shower, as showers are want to do, and off to school. But when I got there I discovered that the tables had moved, which sent me into a OCD induced panic. Though not nearly as bad as the one the night before, nonetheless, one of the worst I have had in a long time, the worst being the one mentioned above. After spending half an hour on the phone with my father and missing one of my favorite classes, I was calm, and the day got much better.
Sistergirl and her mother were in town for the convention, and I spent the day, and much of the week end with them. I actually managed to go to 770, the worlds most crowded shul, during Friday night davining. Though Shabbos did have me feeling rather up and down quite a bit, over sleeping majorly due to stress and depression due to stress due to future thinking, I nonetheless managed to make it work. Yay. and then MAB, who was also here for the convention(don't ask) and I went for pizza and to Times Square.
The rest of the week has followed in much the same line, though, thank G-d, with out any actual panic attacks, just a couple of boughs of woe. The combination of People and trying to figure out next year and the rest of the future has me greatly overwhelmed, and extremely stressed.
As well I am in a 'production' Tuesday and Wednesday, which is all well and good, I like acting, but on the one hand if I am still in this sort of mood, I can't be sure how great a job I will do, and the other thing is that, well, I am not so sure people know their lines, there are, I think, as yet no props or costumes. It's kind of hastily done. Eh. I'm being pessimistic. It's going to be great. Yup.
And I have to apologize to you Ani, some the things in this post were going to be in the letter that I didn't write yet due to, well, the things in this post. You understand, I'm sure.
This past weekend was the annual convention for Rabbezines of the world, here in Crown Heights. As you can imagine, that's a lot of people. Not only do they come, but many Jewish Girls High Schools and Seminaries come here as well, and they all need places to stay. In addition to SM three of such girls stayed here. They arrived late Thursday night...early Friday morning, and really, I just wanted to sleep having had less than normal the previous week, and knowing of the impending People. Alas, things were beginning to get settled, beds assigned and moved about, the room got rather crowded.
Cue a one hour long panic attack that had me hiding under the blanket(I had already been in bed), and required about half an hour to an hour of random quoting of random British Scifi with reddwarfervia texting (I couldn't call anyone, because a. that would alert/wake the others and b. panic) to get me calm enough that I could spend another half hour or so calming down to sleep. I got to sleep maybe 0300ish or so. Yeah. Oh, and did I mention that I was waking at 0630ish so as to shower for Shabbos? Fun.
I did feel better after my shower, as showers are want to do, and off to school. But when I got there I discovered that the tables had moved, which sent me into a OCD induced panic. Though not nearly as bad as the one the night before, nonetheless, one of the worst I have had in a long time, the worst being the one mentioned above. After spending half an hour on the phone with my father and missing one of my favorite classes, I was calm, and the day got much better.
Sistergirl and her mother were in town for the convention, and I spent the day, and much of the week end with them. I actually managed to go to 770, the worlds most crowded shul, during Friday night davining. Though Shabbos did have me feeling rather up and down quite a bit, over sleeping majorly due to stress and depression due to stress due to future thinking, I nonetheless managed to make it work. Yay. and then MAB, who was also here for the convention(don't ask) and I went for pizza and to Times Square.
The rest of the week has followed in much the same line, though, thank G-d, with out any actual panic attacks, just a couple of boughs of woe. The combination of People and trying to figure out next year and the rest of the future has me greatly overwhelmed, and extremely stressed.
As well I am in a 'production' Tuesday and Wednesday, which is all well and good, I like acting, but on the one hand if I am still in this sort of mood, I can't be sure how great a job I will do, and the other thing is that, well, I am not so sure people know their lines, there are, I think, as yet no props or costumes. It's kind of hastily done. Eh. I'm being pessimistic. It's going to be great. Yup.
And I have to apologize to you Ani, some the things in this post were going to be in the letter that I didn't write yet due to, well, the things in this post. You understand, I'm sure.