.

[qteajocey]

ok here i go

im exhausted but i need to say something

anything

to get my heart beating again

i hate my family and my current situation

i was supposed to feel relief right now because im not pregnant

but instead?

i feel nothing but alone.

so very alone and stuck

and like i dont care about anything anymore

take my life back

i dont want it.

all these opportunities are false

how can i move out? without money

how can i dream of schooling? without ambition or money

how can i live? without feeling

i am lacking hope

its running on empty

i used to feel love toward life

now... id give anything to feel.

this has been by far the hardest week of my life.

its soaked up so much emotion that i cant even feel anything anymore

whats there to do or say when it all becomes meaningless?

fuck my family for not feeling or understanding how i felt

fuck him for not loving me

fuck me for becoming so void and lost

and fuck it all...because, i just dont care.

i'm free and liberated because i am not bearing a child [i think] but.. i'm free and liberated of all feeling and hope right now too.

maybe there is such a thing as being TOO free.