(no subject)
today has probably been the least productive day i've had in months.
i woke up around noon (gross), went online, stayed online, made plans which i later broke, and went online some more. i think i also went to the bathroom once or twice and made a half-assed attempt at finding my web-assign card so i could do my chem homework, but to no avail. the evening ended with an impromptu trip to the grocery store, which resulted in me eating an entire bag of pre-washed lettuce and half a bag of frozen blackberries. i got some vegan ice cream, too, but it is not the brand that i am used to and quite frankly was kind of gross. i was tired all day (probably due to the lack of food) but i'm wide awake now. but i guess things could be worse!
i should note that on my way to school the other day, a huge portion of lincoln ave was sectioned off and torn up, but by the time i got home it was completely repaved. this probably means nothing to 99% of the people reading this, but this is probably the best street-related thing to ever happen to me! it was seriously comparable to, if not worse than, the worst parts of milwaukee ave.
i haven't made any new friends at uic and i guess i'm not even trying. i find it kind of funny that all the friends i made last year were just as disillusioned as i was and either quit going to school entirely or transferred to schools far, far away. other than justin, but justin is always so busy buying houseplants that it's not like i ever see him anyway. today i found myself thinking "i miss my best friend" and then i couldn't help but think about how the person i was thinking of probably does not consider be to be his best friend, or even anywhere close. dependency is not a good thing, but it seems like i need to relearn that. and just for the record, there are a few people i consider best friends, but i'm just already used to never seeing them because of school, etc. whatever! visits need to happen soon. speaking of, i got the coolest birthday present ever today. i may or may not be referring to a sex dream i had about my russian professor. YOU DECIDE.
school is a challenge and has always been a challenge for me, but i think it's something i need to do. as much as i loved being a full time dropout and general miscreant, the whole not being able to find a job that wasn't food service thing was really a dealbreaker. i am already stressed out way too much and my classes aren't even hard. i hate a good portion of the kids in my honors chem class and it has only been a week. i swear i am going to end up snapping one of these days and just end up yelling at all of them for being such whiny, ungrateful, elitist brats. oh well, at least i saw some homeless dude scam them out of money as well as get their personal information, and i did nothing to stop it. i win. now all i need to do is punch that self-proclaimed grammar nazi from my linguistics class in the gut and i think i'll be satisfied.
honestly my brain works differently when i am in school (as evidenced by the rambling nature of this post). i think it works better in some ways and a lot worse in others. i have a hard time thinking analytically without any motivation to do so, i guess. but i also can't stop thinking and then i get really bad anxiety... to a crippling extent, almost, but who's counting! i'm still amazed at my ability to write. i am damn good if i do say so myself, but you would never guess it by reading this journal. i don't get why i write and think so differently under these circumstances, but it is definitely unconscious. an issue of pragmatics, maybe? who knows. i just threw up.
oh and did i tell all of you how jimmy drown, my linguistics professor and arguably love of my life, stared me down while i was taking birth control and then chatted me up about my bianchi hat (the one of western ave fame)? because that was pretty cool.
i woke up around noon (gross), went online, stayed online, made plans which i later broke, and went online some more. i think i also went to the bathroom once or twice and made a half-assed attempt at finding my web-assign card so i could do my chem homework, but to no avail. the evening ended with an impromptu trip to the grocery store, which resulted in me eating an entire bag of pre-washed lettuce and half a bag of frozen blackberries. i got some vegan ice cream, too, but it is not the brand that i am used to and quite frankly was kind of gross. i was tired all day (probably due to the lack of food) but i'm wide awake now. but i guess things could be worse!
i should note that on my way to school the other day, a huge portion of lincoln ave was sectioned off and torn up, but by the time i got home it was completely repaved. this probably means nothing to 99% of the people reading this, but this is probably the best street-related thing to ever happen to me! it was seriously comparable to, if not worse than, the worst parts of milwaukee ave.
i haven't made any new friends at uic and i guess i'm not even trying. i find it kind of funny that all the friends i made last year were just as disillusioned as i was and either quit going to school entirely or transferred to schools far, far away. other than justin, but justin is always so busy buying houseplants that it's not like i ever see him anyway. today i found myself thinking "i miss my best friend" and then i couldn't help but think about how the person i was thinking of probably does not consider be to be his best friend, or even anywhere close. dependency is not a good thing, but it seems like i need to relearn that. and just for the record, there are a few people i consider best friends, but i'm just already used to never seeing them because of school, etc. whatever! visits need to happen soon. speaking of, i got the coolest birthday present ever today. i may or may not be referring to a sex dream i had about my russian professor. YOU DECIDE.
school is a challenge and has always been a challenge for me, but i think it's something i need to do. as much as i loved being a full time dropout and general miscreant, the whole not being able to find a job that wasn't food service thing was really a dealbreaker. i am already stressed out way too much and my classes aren't even hard. i hate a good portion of the kids in my honors chem class and it has only been a week. i swear i am going to end up snapping one of these days and just end up yelling at all of them for being such whiny, ungrateful, elitist brats. oh well, at least i saw some homeless dude scam them out of money as well as get their personal information, and i did nothing to stop it. i win. now all i need to do is punch that self-proclaimed grammar nazi from my linguistics class in the gut and i think i'll be satisfied.
honestly my brain works differently when i am in school (as evidenced by the rambling nature of this post). i think it works better in some ways and a lot worse in others. i have a hard time thinking analytically without any motivation to do so, i guess. but i also can't stop thinking and then i get really bad anxiety... to a crippling extent, almost, but who's counting! i'm still amazed at my ability to write. i am damn good if i do say so myself, but you would never guess it by reading this journal. i don't get why i write and think so differently under these circumstances, but it is definitely unconscious. an issue of pragmatics, maybe? who knows. i just threw up.
oh and did i tell all of you how jimmy drown, my linguistics professor and arguably love of my life, stared me down while i was taking birth control and then chatted me up about my bianchi hat (the one of western ave fame)? because that was pretty cool.